Welcome back to The Hair of the Dog podcast. Today's episode is all about how to make the most of our time when we are doing things that maybe we don't wanna do, but we have responsibility. So we've gotta see it through. That almost rhymes anyway. If you have ever had to do something that you don't wanna do and you wanna make the best of it,

you're definitely gonna take a listen to this episode. Stay tuned. Welcome to The Hair of the Dog podcast. If you are a pet photographer ready to make more money and start living a life by your design, you've come to the right place. And now your hosts pet photographer, travel addict, chocolate martini connoisseur, Nicole Begley. Hey everybody. Welcome back to The Hair of the Dog podcast.

I'm your host, Nicole Begley. And today we have back one of our most favorite guests ever. Always. I don't know, I, my brain is not coming up with some really great intro for you. She doesn't like snakes, but she does like chickens. Welcome back to the podcast, Heather Lahtinen. Thank You so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

And just so you know, chickens and snakes don't go together because snakes will get into the chicken coop and take the eggs. Well, that's true. That's a true story. Yeah. But I don't know. They eat the mice. Yeah. Okay. You can try to extol the virtues of snakes all day long. It's never gonna shift my thinking.

All right. Ten four. Ten four. If you guys want a funny story of snakes, it's probably buried in a podcast somewhere. But long story short, we like to give Heather just a little bit of, just a little bit of, of, of tough love about her snakes because Heather, our fearless leader that can like face anything with just like confidence does not do so well.

When there is an unexpected snake on the hood of a car while driving down the road, People fail to recognize that we locked eyes. He looked me square in the eye and he was coming for me. So, yeah. No, that was funny. They were all saying that like, you're so fearless in so many ways. And I said, you guys,

I have one issue. One. And it's snakes. Especially when they're unexpected. Yeah. And you're like, is it just gonna pop out down by my feet now? Where, what? What is happening? Gosh. Yeah. No snakes. Okay. But I can take on just about anything else. So what have you got for me today? Oh,

all right. Well, today we are gonna be talking about how to be more productive and how to feel more productive, whether you actually are or aren't. So my question for everyone out there is, have you ever had to do something that maybe you weren't very excited about and you felt like was a giant monumental waste of time? Okay. I might be exaggerating there with a giant monumental waste of time.

But something that maybe you feel like is not the highest use of your time. For a little bit of context, I am an E N T J in the Myers-Briggs. And I read this thing once, it was like the 16 versions of hell for every Myers-Brigg personality test. And mine was, everybody was doing it wrong and I couldn't correct them. Like they were doing it wrong and inefficiently like way longer,

way inefficient. And I had to follow along and I couldn't correct them. And I was like, that tracks, oh my God. No way. Couldn't handle it. So for me, having to do like random things where like, I don't know, I have to hang out at a soccer tournament all day when my kid's only playing for like an hour and a half,

but I'm there for eight hours. Oh, that is hard to deal with at times. Yeah. Why do you think it's just because you feel like you should be doing something else? It's not productive. Like what's really going on there? I think it's two things. It's not productive. And I like to watch my kid play soccer, obviously, but I don't really wanna hang out all day at the soccer field.

Even so far as my daughter, like we go to horse shows and then she also rides on I e A, which is inner Scholastic Equestrian Association. So it's basically horse shows that different barns have teams and they go to, and the host barn provides all the horses. You pick a horse out of a hat and you go show it. So it's like an even playing field.

Oh, it's a really great experience. Yeah. 'cause you ride all these different horses, but I don't have a horse there. We don't even have her horse there. I'm not riding. So, and even though it's at a horse show, I'm just like, this is a long day of just sitting out here. What are, what are your thoughts though?

Gimme your thoughts and feelings. Like you're thinking what specifically? Oh, this is hard. 'cause I've gotta go way back. 'cause I've actually been doing this coping mechanism. I don't know that it's coping, but I've been, I've managed to find ways that this doesn't, I don't have any negative thoughts about it. It just is what it is. It's a responsibility.

I'm happy to do it because I can find ways to make the time either feel more efficient for me, more productive, or to find it to be more relaxing, or to really just kind of change my thoughts about it. Of like, Hey, this is gonna be a great day. Instead of dreading the like, oh my God, I don't wanna do this.

I feel like I'm wasting time. So in the past, it would definitely be a, this is a waste of time. I should either be working or if I'm not working, I should at least be doing the things I wanna be doing and relaxing. I should have a say in it. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. Instead of like,

you know, these responsibilities we have in life, How do you feel when you think this is a waste of time? Oh, frustrated. Yeah. Yeah. And then you usually waste time or, or you don't have fun or you just sit there, or until you make I just doing the frustration. Yeah, yeah. You know? So it's just,

you're still spending the time. So Right. The time time's gonna pass. Either you're gonna spend the time in like a really crappy, frustrated state, or you can like have a good day and make the best out of it. The important point here is it's a choice because you can choose what you think. I always say, I say this to the kids,

I say it to myself. I'm like, listen, in the next 30 minutes, a half hour is going to have passed whether period, right. Whether you make it productive or not, it's completely up to you. And if you're feeling frustrated, it's because you're thinking something. Thoughts, produce feelings. So then you can say, okay, well how would I wanna feel?

Or what would I need to think or believe in order to just feel, you know, okay with this or neutral or better, because I can choose my thoughts. So you had said something a moment ago that you figured out a way to manage this. What, what do you think that thought was like? How did you shift from this is a waste of time to this new thought and what is that new thought?

The new thought is, you know, how can I make the most of this time? So it's really a question that I ask myself. And I mean, I do this for so many things, really. Car ride, airplane ride, which side note, working on a plane is like my most favorite place to work, especially if it's in business class.

That helps for Sure. Especially if it's in business class that was paid for by miles in a very small copay. But anyway, so yeah, like car trips, airline rides, airline rides. Like I'm going out for an airline ride, you know, flights, that's not funny. You wanna go for a train ride, little girl, right? Yeah.

Go for an airplane ride. Anyway, car rides, flights, going to kids all day, sporting events. Gosh, even like exercise. Like I know that I should, and I know that I want to, so how can I make it more enjoyable? Because, all right, I am not one of those people that's like, oh my God,

I have so many endorphins now that I worked out. Like afterwards I'm like, all right, great. It's done. I feel good about myself. Sure. But I'm definitely not getting any sort of like, that was amazing, right? I can't wait to Do it again tomorrow. So instead it's like, oh, well what can I do? Sometimes I have my mirror up in my room.

It's like that they have little workouts in it, so I'll be doing Pilates and I'll put on the Bachelor. So I'm like, all great, That's super productive. Oh no, but it's enjoyable. Like, how can I make, make this more enjoyable that I'm watching some trashy TV that I don't have time to watch otherwise, while I do some crunches?

Oh my gosh. Or if I'm Going for a walk, I always have like a podcast in my ears or something. Okay. See that I can get behind, obviously if I'm taking a walk. Hey, sometimes You just need to know who's gonna get the rose Heather. Really? Do you? Yes. Because sometimes you do. Okay, alright.

I, I mean, I'll, I guess, I dunno, you lo, I was, I was tracking with you that entire time, like exercise, how can I make this productive? And I thought you were going to say, I put on some training or I put on a podcast, and you're like, no, I'm, No. So why I don't is I can't concentrate as much because I get,

like, you might find this shocking. I get really bored with repetition. So I can't do the same workout over and over and over. So I need to be able to like listen to what's next or like what they tell me to do next. So I can't that it's too much input for me to actually concentrate on watching a training or something. So I need something light and fluffy that it doesn't matter if I'm really paying attention or not.

Yeah, no, okay. That, that makes sense. Sometimes when I walk on the treadmill though, I watch training videos or you know, something. Oh yeah, no, that makes sense. If I was walking, like if I'm walking, yeah, then I can, but if I'm like, okay, now do 30 sets of this. All right,

now we're moving this, now we're gonna do a low forearm plank. Now we're gonna do this. Like, that's, that's too much input. Yeah. Okay. I don't want to derail us. Yeah. So we're gonna stay on track, but I just wanna make a note here that when it comes to exercise, it's just, it's just not optional for me.

And I just do the exercise and it's 30 to 45 minutes per day and that's just what it is. And that's like a committed time for me. So that to me is slightly like a different mental approach than what we're talking about today, which is like running the kids around or being somewhere where you can't work on your job or be productive. So I just wanna like table that discussion for another day because,

and what I wanna talk about in that regard is doing things you don't feel like doing. Oh yeah, Yeah. That's a different different day. But for today, you're sharing like, I guess you asked yourself the question, how can I make the most of this time? Or I guess, what does this make possible? So you're sitting at the horse show all day and you ask yourself,

what does this make possible? Like, then where do you go from there? Well, I just think of like, what can I work on that I'll be able to work from my laptop and on a hit or miss hotspot because for whatever reason my phone and computer are not always compatible to be online all the time. So, you know, things like,

do I need to write copy for different sales emails? Do I need to update, you know, update my product guide for my photography stuff? Like what do, what do I have to work on that I can work on essentially off the grid on my laptop where I can concentrate and be quiet and get these things done. But I don't necessarily need to have certainly editing and stuff's on my main machine,

but I don't need to be like all over the internet or streaming videos. Like it could be stuff that could be online for a moment and then offline Be right. Right. Yeah, no, that makes perfect sense. So you're sitting there, you can do some work, you can take some notes, you can even like write things down. What about when those times when you're driving?

So for me, I used to feel so annoyed because running the kids around, okay, oh, connect with your kids, Heather have a nice conversation. Okay, fair enough. When they're in the mood. But you know how teenagers can be, sometimes they're just very quiet, you know, and they just don't say much. Yeah. But, and also if you're dropping them off somewhere,

like, I'm off and running my son to and from work, so I'll drop him off and then, so I'm driving him there and I'm driving home and I used to think, oh my gosh, this is just like such a giant waste of my precious time. I should be doing something more productive. I started like queuing up the business podcast or the training videos on my phone,

not, not videos you need to watch. You know, just ones obviously that you can listen to so that when I, I always have something on the ready so that when I'm doing that, I'm actually excited when he says, mom, can you take me here or pick me up? I'm like, yeah, sure, sign me up because I gotta finish that podcast or that training.

Yep. I do the same with, because I have a hard time fitting in time to read just because as soon as it's past eight, if I am anywhere near vertical, I will read a page and go to sleep. Like you mean Horizontal? Horizontal? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I mean. The other way, yeah,

like if I am in my bed, I can read a page or two, or if I manage to read 10, 15 pages the next day I pick it up, I'm like, huh, I didn't read any of that. 'cause I was like already mentally checked out. So I actually even look forward to like, oh, like I have to go get a checkup on my shoulder.

I'm gonna take my Kindle and read in the, you know, in the waiting room. So I have just different things that I could do at different times like that. So there's kind of three levels. There's, you know, where could I just like read in my Kindle and be happy reading like the personal books, which are usually personal development, but where I can read books or can I do a little bit more actual work or is there something that's a longer term being away from the office on vacations,

which this is even like, even like the vacations that I like, can't wait to get away for like, I love, like, we're going to Croatia for two weeks or, you know, whatever it is. I always have like a new fun project to work on for work because I am out of the day to day like, oh, I have a call,

I have this, like my schedule is clear, so I can take an hour in the morning and be like, well, let me work on this fun project I've been wanting to work on, but I just haven't been able to squat in the time at home. So it, it like makes everything even more exciting. Yeah. And I actually read about this recently where sometimes changing your environment really can ignite creativity in your thinking or give you different ideas or ways of looking at things because you're not,

you know, in between calls I'm having to come up with this brilliant idea. Like you can't force it that way, but if you're in a different environment, so you're actually making the, the best, the most of the situation on family vacation where of course you're with your family and you're having fun, but then there's moments of downtime when you have the ability to think and be creative and get things done that wouldn't normally get done.

That to me Nicole is like, you are winning at life. That is bonus like squared because you're, you're on vacation and you're getting to work. Amazing. So What I'm hearing you say is that we should go to Mallorca to go record a whole bunch of podcasts. I, That's what I heard from that conversation. Yeah. And I, you know,

if you can help me figure out that business class situation, I am there. We'll go eat some paella, we'll just eat some fresh fish. Oh my God. Yes, please. Well, No, you and I have even sat this, that when we get together and we do something different and outside of our environment, like we just, like our heads explode with amazing thoughts and ideas.

We just get different things done. But could we even take that into micro moments, micro examples, like driving back and forth or spending the day at the soccer field or the horse show. Like, that's just like a, a micro example of how could I tap into that creativity? I'm not in my environment, I'm not on calls, I'm not having to,

you know, teach or lead anything. I can just actually sit here and watch these kids run up and down this field over and over and over and over again and think and actually think, Yes, a hundred percent, I just had a thought and it went away. It'll come back. It's all good. Oh my goodness. Well, you need to change your environment.

You need to, I do remember I came back, okay, it came back one of my favorite ones too, which I'm like, oh, I'm so excited now for my next oil change. So the, there's AAA car care center, like right down, it's by a Starbucks. And I'm like, I'll just take the car there, drop it off,

takes like an hour and a half. But that's cool. I'm just taking my computer over to Starbucks, grab myself a fancy little drink and, and right away do like, you know, just write some emails, do whatever I need to do, do some planning, some thinking, because I love working in different coffee shops and stuff like that. Although I've gotta say,

I don't know if you've noticed it or any of you other guys have noticed it, but since Covid, I don't like working at Starbucks as much as I used to. 'cause they used to have comfy couches and chairs and now it's all like hard, like just yucky tables and chairs. And I think they all went away during covid when they thought that you would get covid from a couch and they never brought them back.

I did not notice that. I did not know that. Gosh. So Starbucks executives, if you listen to the hair of the dog podcast, you need to bring the couches and the comfy chairs back. Please. But wait, you have a Subaru? I have a Subaru. The, our Subaru dealership. I actually enjoy getting my car inspected because their lounge is so nice.

Yeah, mine's like not really convenient. It's like 20 minutes away. Like it would force me then to go to Costco and spend $700 right afterwards. So it's way better off that I just go to the AAA place and get a Cup of coffee. Okay. Okay. That's fair. Okay, So but wait, hold on, hold on. One more point for that one.

So I could work, or I think I told you this last time. So I was over there and I was like, oh my God, next time I'm taking this a step further for self-care that I never make the time to schedule or prioritize. I'm gonna drop my car off and there's a massage envy right there in that same little section. I'm gonna go get my a massage while my car gets the oil changed.

Yes. And so winning At life. Yeah, you are. So you're incredibly excited for this next oil change. I sure Am. You did tell me that you actually vox me and you said, I just realized there's a massage envy here. I need to schedule an appointment. That is brilliant. That, so what we're describing here is a concept I came up with actually several years ago called like,

I, I look at it like a fulcrum. Like, okay, first of all, let me say this. People will sometimes say to me, that's a shame that you're wasting your degree in mechanical engineering. Where do you think I learned about fulcrum? It's being used right now, right This second. So I've said to you like, I want you to imagine a seesaw,

a very simple seesaw, and the fulcrum is in the middle. So if you picture just a triangle and the seesaw is like on top of the point of the triangle, when the fulcrum is in the middle of the seesaw, you can like, you know, two people can get on the seesaw and you can sort of balance back and forth and it's fun and it's easy.

But if you move that fulcrum one way or the other, especially very far, it won't work. It will be very, very difficult. If not possible, then It's a ramp. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Yeah. It becomes a ramp, not a seesaw. So you want that fulcrum in the middle so that you can get the most out of the seesaw.

So I, I thought of this concept of like, there are things in life that are really difficult for me. And I came up with this when Evan was little and he kept asking me to go outside and play like in the Middle of that, I'm right there with you, I'm with you on this story, And I love my children and I just,

I'm just not a player. I'm just not a player. And I would play, of course, I'm a good mom, I would do it, but I, my gosh, I would be so grumpy and I would, oh, resist. And I need, he'd be like, man, I've been out here playing for like 45 minutes. Oh,

it's been three. Someone would literally stand still. And I took my kids to the playground. Yes, It's been three minutes and I wanna die. So I was, so one day I was so frustrated with this, I just, honestly, I'm, it sounds like I'm being dramatic, but I just felt like I wanted to cry because I had so much work to do that I wanted to do,

and I just couldn't seem to get to it. And he's, mommy, can we go outside and play Mommy, mommy, mommy? And I'm like, oh my gosh. And I, it came to me like, I am resisting this. The fulcrum is in the wrong place. I am making this harder than it needs to be. How can I move the fulcrum to the center of the seesaw to make this easier?

Like in my mind, you know, so I said to myself, Heather, move the fulcrum. And then myself said, okay, let's go. So what I did on that particular day was I turned on the exercise ring on my watch, you know, so I would get like credit, credit, Gotta get credit, Credit credit for playing. And I went out there and we were playing catch and running around or whatever.

And I actually found myself like really engaging and having fun because I was trying to get my heart rate up for the sake of my watch. But then, you know, I'm also out there with my child playing and I successfully moved to the fulcrum. So I came back in the house and in my bedroom closet I drew, I have this like sheet of paper I,

I write notes on. I drew a triangle with a line over top of it, a very simple seesaw. And I wrote, move the fulcrum. How can you move the fulcrum to make this as productive and easy and fun as possible? Which is exactly what you've been describing. I've been moving that fulcrum. Fulcrum for years. Yeah, yeah. Without even knowing it.

Oh, interesting. But now, you know, and now you have the, like, the words like the visual to say to yourself, how can I do this? So yesterday Evan came home from school and there's a class that he does not love, and Evan does really well in school. So it's not a matter of like, I don't know how to do it.

He just doesn't love it. And I said to him, I told him this whole story, and, and I used the example. I told him, I said, do you remember when you used to ask me to go outside and play all the time? And I was always like, you know, putting it off or whatever. And I explained why.

And I said, how can you move the fulcrum? Do you have some friends in that class? Can you figure out a way to have fun with it? Whatever, you know, like, how can you move the fulcrum in your mind? Take the thought from this is a waste of time, which is by the way, what he thinks of this class.

The same way we thought of, hmm, running the kids around. This is a waste of time. Can you move the fulcrum so the seesaw moves easier in your mind and think to yourself, okay, what does this make possible? How can I make the most of this time? Okay, I've gotta say at 15 years old, he was not incredibly receptive to this concept,

But Maybe someday he'll remember the conversation and I have planted the seed. Yes, a hundred percent. Oh my gosh. So yeah. So our question for you guys today is what are you dreading in your life, whether it's professional, whether it's business, and how can you change that? You know, maybe, maybe it is that you dread editing.

Well, maybe we should outsource it. Like, or maybe let's make it a game. I actually did that for something recently. It was like, man, I've gotta get through this. So I literally set a timer for 20 minutes on my phone. I'm like, all right, how many can I get through? Let's go. Hmm. That's a,

a great way to kind of get through emails sometimes too, where it's like, let's just go, instead of looking at this giant thing of like, oh my God, I have 130 emails in here I need to deal with. Like, I'm not gonna get it all done today. Let's set the timer for 10 minutes. How much can I do?

Let's set the timer for 10 minutes and let's like, put some stuff away or make decisions on this clutter that's sitting here. Like, just get started. Which is a whole different conversation. Yes. But, but yeah, but like, how can you, how can you make the most of all the things so that, that you aren't dreading things?

Because even when there's these things that, you know, we need to do because we have responsibilities in life, there's still ways to make them even better. I mean, I even try, I I haven't been able to rip off the bandaid yet. Heather, every time I'm like, why do I even bring my computer? I, I just shouldn't.

But I, it's like, it's like my, my bandaid or my little, like lovey when I was a kid, like I, I can't, I can't not have my computer with me. 'cause I think I might actually have a panic attack. But like when I, when I go to actual horse shows, like not the i e a ones,

but when we go to actual horse shows, I mean, we leave Friday morning, we go back Sunday night. I literally take my computer every time with these thoughts of like, Hey, I'm gonna sit down and get a little work done in between. Never, never, never ever, ever, ever. I don't know how the, the time expands when you're at a horse show that you're like,

I rode for like an hour, but I was here for like 14 and I was busy the whole time. And then by the time you get home and go to dinner and take a shower and then it's like nine 30 and you've been up since six and you're exhausted. So nothing's happening then. So I just need to not take my computer. But I i,

I still lu it with me just in case. Okay, but lemme ask you this question. This is a, I'm glad you brought this up 'cause this is an important distinction. Do you like your reasons for not working? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Correct. But I think if I had the, if I had downtime and I didn't have the opportunity to get work done,

then I'd be kicking myself. Yeah, no, that's fair. No, you're planning for that just in case. That makes sense to me. But the important point here is you like your reasons because you were like involved in the horse show. You're probably talking to people and you're doing things and Yeah. And you're really busy and you didn't, so at the end of the day,

and, and I think you're pretty, you're pretty like set with this, but at the end of the day, if you, you can feel two different things. You can feel defeated. Like, oh, I brought my laptop and I didn't get anything done, and that sucks. Or you can say, I didn't get anything done, but I love my reasons.

I connected with this person and I took care of this. And, and that was, yeah, we had a day like that two days ago where I had things on my list list and something sort of interrupted that process, a circumstance that I needed to address and it was all good. And at the end of the day, I recognized that I had a choice.

I could look at my list that did not get done at all. Nothing I had planned, got done that day. Nothing. In fact, I actually voxer you about it and you were, you're so funny. You're like, Heather, calm down, calm down. You talked me down like first thing in the morning, I went and took care of the thing I needed to take care of.

And at the end of the day, I felt incredibly content happy, satisfied. Even though, and by the way, old Heather would've been furious. I would've been so mad that I didn't get the stuff done that I wanted get. Oh Yeah. Like old Heather like two months ago. Heather, Literally. Yes, yes. But new Heather like June Heather.

Yeah, June Heather, right. Would've been so mad because I had this list and I wanted to stick to the list, knew Heather, looked at it slightly more objectively and said, okay, the things didn't get done, but this other really important project did, and I love my reasons. And so then I felt like satisfied. You Accomplished with that.

You felt accomplished with that other project that had to happen. Yeah. It It moved up Your to-do list. Yeah. Correct. That had to happen anyway. So then it got done. And I actually truly, I should, I should have told you this afterwards. I just really had an epiphany that day. This is just two days ago, was like,

wow, I'm doing so much better at managing my thoughts And your, what was your thing? Your capacity for complexity. That's it. My capacity for complexity, Except when Zapier is involved. Okay. Your Zaps make me crazy. Okay. Zaps for the Zaps on those Zaps, okay. Yes. But I am increasing my capacity for complexity. There's two key thoughts that come into play here.

We always talking about this in elevate. I'm like, well, what do we need to think? Or how do we need to shift our thinking? But two key thoughts have changed things for me. One is I'm increasing my capacity for complexity. And the second one is, and this is really, really important. I trust myself to get the things done that did not get done on Monday.

So previously list of things on Monday, they don't get done. I freak out because I don't trust myself now that I trust myself. When that circumstance opportunity arose, I took care of it and trusted myself that that's okay. 'cause I know I can get these things done because I've increased my capacity of complexity. I had a moment Monday where I just felt super,

super proud of myself and my mind management because the drama has actually been dialed down a little bit. Yeah. So the, the takeaway here is you guys like our thoughts are everything a hmm not new. That's what we've been talking about here for quite some time. Because our thoughts lead to behaviors and actions which lead to the results not the other way around.

So, you know, what are we thinking? So you guys have a choice. Next time you find yourself like dreading doing something or like frustrated that you have to go off and not be productive, or you're missing a day of work or something, rearrange your day. Like how can we change those thoughts? And as soon as you change those thoughts,

you might start to see some other actions that you can do that will then make you feel still a little bit more fulfilled. So how, yeah, just how can we keep an eye on those thoughts and how can we change 'em? Yeah. It's really important to note that nothing good comes from dread. Dread is a terrible, terrible feeling, but you're feeling dread because you are thinking something like,

this is not productive, this is whatever it is, whatever the thought is is causing the dread. Oh, standby. A car just drove by, like backfiring. Hey Cammie, come, come. She was sleeping and she's like, must protect the house. Backfiring cars high school, just let out. So there's somebody, 8,000 people, Us. All right,

we're gonna take that as a cue that it is time to wrap up because now there's gonna be 8,000 people walking down the street and Cammie just can't have any of that. Even if I put her in a crate, there's gonna be the ow. So you guys, this has been great. Heather, thank you for being with us today for this great conversation.

And of course, as always, you guys let us know if you found this impactful or if this changes the way you approach anything in your life. Send us a DMM and Nicole Begley Official or Flourish Academy and we'll talk to you soon. Kami says Goodbye. Oh my goodness. Thanks for listening to the Hair of the Dog podcast. This was episode number 210.

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