How We Sabotage Success with Heather Lahtinen

IN THIS EPISODE:

#117 - This week, Heather Lahtinen and I wrap up our 6-part series on moving past your money hangups and opening the door to more abundance in your life. In this episode we share a dozen real-world examples of financial self-sabotage, and discuss how to dismantle those behaviors. You'll also hear me justify the 3 speeding tickets I got in Brazil (oops), and hear Heather invite your loved ones into the boxing ring (?!).

What To Listen For:

The curiously ill effects of those Barka retreats
How Marie Kondo's advice translates to your business
Your misguided understanding of fairness and equality
What Mother Teresa has to say about money
The fiery rant Heather has for your spouse! 🙈

If you've missed any of these six episodes, you can easily find 'em on our Money Series page over at Hair of the Dog Academy. As always, we'd love to hear what resonated with you the most. Let us know over in the Facebook group!

Resources From This Episode:

Connect with us on Instagram and YouTube.
Explore valuable pet photography resources here
Discover effective pricing and sales strategies for all portrait photographers.
Ready to grow your business? Elevate helps you do just that.
Check out our recommended gear and favorite books.

Full Transcript ›

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Welcome to the hair of the dog podcast.

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I am your host,

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Nicole Begley.

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And today Heather Latin and I are wrapping up our money

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series. And today we're talking all about the ways that you

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are currently sabotaging your road to business success,

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and also to increased income and spoiler alert.

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We all have some sabotages somewhere,

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so I know I'm excited for it.

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I know you guys will be excited for it and love

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it. Stay tuned.

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Welcome to the hair of the dog podcast.If

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you're a pet photographer,

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ready to make more money and start living a life by

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your design,

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you've come to the right place.

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And now your host,

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pet photographer,

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travel addict,

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chocolate martini connoisseur,

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Nicole Begley.

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Hey there everybody.

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Welcome back to the hair of the dog podcast.

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I am Nicole Begley.

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And back again,

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you guys know her.

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You guys love her.

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It's Heather Lawton,

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and we're back for another money series.

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We have so much to talk about when it comes to

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money. Don't worry,

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Nicole. Yes,

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we have.

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Yeah, Heather and I,

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we, we end up boxing each other.

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I don't know every weekday just about on the days that

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we don't,

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it's just a sad day in my world,

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but yeah,

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we often like,

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just to share with each other like random things like,

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oh, I have covered this thought today and I highly encourage

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you guys.

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If you've been listening to our money series,

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which this is,

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I think number five,

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if you guys go to her of the diet academy.com/money,

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we'll create a landing page there and you guys can go

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through all of the podcast episodes if you want to watch

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them or listen to them all in order.

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But yeah,

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it's so interesting to start to dig away these layers and

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figure out something.

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And like you,

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you just,

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you peel away one layer and then there's like this little

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belief there and you're like,

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oh, and then you're like,

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all right,

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we settled that.

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And then you're like,

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oh, there's this other thing here.

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So it just keeps on going deeper and deeper down that

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rabbit hole because we're never really done with this work.

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Are we Heather?

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This is an adventure.

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It's a journey.

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Because like you said,

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when we talk often,

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multiple times a week,

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we'll tell each other,

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you won't believe what I uncovered.

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I had no clue I was doing that or that,

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that was an issue for me.

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And it happens all the time that we're talking about that.

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And then you reach another level,

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you know,

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new level,

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new devil.

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We say that all the time we are continually uncovering these

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beliefs. And what we're going to talk about today is we

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are sabotage.

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We could be sabotaging ourselves in certain areas in regards to

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money. Yes.

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I would go even further and say,

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every single one of us is sabotaging ourselves.

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In some way,

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it might not be on the list.

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I think the ones that we kind of picked out,

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we're going to share some real world applications are definitely a

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bigger sabotage.

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And by,

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you know,

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I want to lay this out to you guys.

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When I say bigger sabotage,

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it doesn't mean like,

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oh my gosh,

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you're bad because this is happening or it's worse or anything

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like that.

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More common,

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I should say more common ways that people sabotage themselves.

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But I think literally every single one of us is sabotaging

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our relationship with money,

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our relationship with others,

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our, our health,

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our business,

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all of the things in an effort to stay safe because

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our ego doesn't want change.

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Yeah. We,

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you actually have a really good example of this sabotaging yourself

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in regards to your health.

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What happens to you almost every time before a big Barca

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retreat, Nicole?

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Oh yeah.

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I get sick.

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You get sick,

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you get sick.

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Most, every time,

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every time I had a really big destination wedding in Southern

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California one year and I got so sick just prior to

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it. And I knew that that had manifested from a thought

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that, you know,

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here's the thing.

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Yeah. You're exposed to germs.

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I call it opportunistic bacteria,

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just lurking,

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you know,

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waiting in the wings.

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And then you let your guard down or you get stressed

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out. And then that opportunistic bacteria makes you sick in the

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case of the wedding.

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And the case of your Barca is,

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you know,

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that, that stuff is always kind of beneath the surface.

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And then you start telling yourself stories about,

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oh my gosh,

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this is a really big deal.

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It am I offering the right value?

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Am I really worth this?

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And people were spending a lot of money and all of

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these things.

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And so your body is like,

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oh, well,

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I can help you here.

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Go lay down.

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Yeah. Well,

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in mine,

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a hundred percent comes from the societal mom,

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guilt of,

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you know,

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how could you leave your family for two weeks?

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You better pay.

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Like, it,

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it can't just be fun and light and easy.

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So we're going to throw in the sickness so that they

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can see how stressful it is for you to leave.

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And yeah,

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I mean,

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they're all fine.

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Like, no one's sitting here saying like,

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I know,

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like, it's all good,

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but, but it's this deep,

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this subconscious belief,

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which quite frankly is,

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I just actually commented on a friend of mine's post this

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morning. She runs a business.

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She has a nine month old and her other daughter is

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like two,

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two and a half.

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So she is in it and like,

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you know,

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took a weekend to connect with some business.

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People went to the spa.

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She's like,

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you know,

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it was hard to take time for yourself before,

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but then once you have kids,

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there's a whole new layer of probably like generational guilt from

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like every mother that's ever lived in the universe from all

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time. Yes.

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You should be at home with your kids.

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You should be tending to your kids.

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It's just sort of ingrained in eight in born.

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It's just who we are supposed to be as women as

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if we're not supposed to have other sides to ourselves,

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which we know like logically is crazy.

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Of course,

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but emotionally or somewhere deep.

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Yeah. It's funny you say that there's going to be a

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price to pay.

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It's like,

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it's like,

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you can't just have,

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I can't just go.

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Exactly. I can't just go and do this thing that fulfills

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my soul and helps other people and you know,

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and enjoy,

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you know,

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enjoy all the things that I love to do wrapped up

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in one,

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help people teach people,

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travel and photograph dogs.

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It, hasn't Got to be a cost to have a chef

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Food. Of course Always food.

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But everyone,

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I challenge you guys to find an episode where I don't

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mention food,

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but anyway,

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I digress.

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So yeah.

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So there are definitely ways like that is again,

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a very deep,

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subconscious level that is trying to sabotage me teaching these workshops.

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And it happens almost every time it has gotten a little

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bit better.

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Oh, I know.

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I had a thought about the mom guilt thing and I

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was able to totally reframe that because I think the key

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correct me if I'm wrong,

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Heather is once we start to uncover these things,

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like that's the hardest part is uncovering what's happening,

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uncovering that belief.

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And then once you can shine some light on it,

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it's like,

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oh, okay,

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well, let's look at it another way.

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Another perspective,

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if you will.

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And for me,

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you know,

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and this is nothing against people that want to stay home

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and like be super mom,

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hardest job on the planet.

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Go ahead.

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It's just not,

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it's not for me.

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Of course.

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I love my children guys,

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Come on children.

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Of course,

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I'm thrilled that they are in my life,

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but I turn it around and look at it as like,

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I want to set the example for my daughter,

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that she can do all the things she's going to have

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a family.

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She can follow her passions.

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She can be self-sufficient and that's not saying like,

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oh no,

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you can never have like someone like a great husband to

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help you in life.

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Whatever. No,

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no, no.

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It's not what I'm saying.

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I'm saying I never want my daughter in a position where

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she's in.

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I don't know a bad relationship or an unhealthy relationship.

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And she feels like she can't get out because she doesn't

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have the power to earn for her own money.

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Right. Have her own business,

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or even if she's in the best relationship and something happens

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and you know,

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and her husband is no longer able to,

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to help support the family.

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Like, Hey,

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you got this.

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Like, those are the lessons I want to teach.

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So then that helped dissuade that mom guilt.

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It still rears its ugly head every now and again,

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but that helped significantly.

271
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,940
Correct. So what you're suggesting here is that the steps are

272
00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:35,390
number one,

273
00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,850
you need to uncover the belief or the Sabbath.

274
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,210
So well actually uncover the way you are sabotaging yourself,

275
00:08:41,870 --> 00:08:44,810
find the belief like where that's coming from,

276
00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:49,040
acknowledge it and then reframe it and reframing.

277
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,350
It just means looking at it in a different light,

278
00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:54,350
replacing it with a belief or a thought.

279
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,920
Cause it might not be a belief just yet.

280
00:08:56,190 --> 00:08:57,660
I've thought that at least serves you,

281
00:08:58,110 --> 00:09:00,780
right. That at least feels better because the mom guilt does

282
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:01,470
not feel good,

283
00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:02,010
but thinking,

284
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,360
oh, I'm inspiring my daughter.

285
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,230
That feels good.

286
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:05,520
I can get behind that.

287
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:07,740
Well, if that's the case and I can just start to

288
00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:09,780
tell myself a new story around,

289
00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:12,150
like I'm doing this to show my kids how to be

290
00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:14,040
independent and it's a good thing.

291
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,510
Then over time,

292
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:15,960
you know,

293
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,360
it's really important to recognize it doesn't happen overnight.

294
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:18,960
Like you said,

295
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,460
you still have some of that mom guilt,

296
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:24,780
but over time you start to recognize or acknowledge this new

297
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:28,500
belief, this one that will truly set you free so that

298
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:32,070
you can pursue whatever it is that you were holding back

299
00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:34,290
before because of a limiting belief.

300
00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:34,710
It's funny,

301
00:09:34,710 --> 00:09:36,990
my daughter who is 19 and in college said to me

302
00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:38,130
recently, you know,

303
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:39,330
she's being real nice.

304
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,050
Okay. First of all,

305
00:09:40,050 --> 00:09:40,720
let's just pause.

306
00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:44,880
She moved out and she's like all of a sudden,

307
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:46,020
very pleasant to be around.

308
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,620
I remember I,

309
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,680
I now realize how good I had it.

310
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,390
Yeah, exactly,

311
00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,850
exactly. And she said to me the other day she said,

312
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:57,390
mama, she was complimenting me and saying she was proud and

313
00:09:57,390 --> 00:10:00,060
happy at how independent I taught them to be.

314
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:00,690
You know,

315
00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:03,990
it's so many things that she complained about as a kid,

316
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:07,410
like one silly example is from the time my kids were

317
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,360
probably around 10 or 11,

318
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,830
they had to do their own laundry.

319
00:10:10,950 --> 00:10:11,520
You know why?

320
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,850
Because I put in my time I did it for all

321
00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:15,510
of those years,

322
00:10:15,510 --> 00:10:17,250
they can reach the watch at washer and dryer.

323
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:17,850
They can do it.

324
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,140
So they've been doing,

325
00:10:19,170 --> 00:10:22,620
and she's perplexed by these kids in college who have to

326
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:22,980
go home.

327
00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:24,420
So their moms can do their laundry.

328
00:10:24,660 --> 00:10:26,310
Like she just doesn't understand that.

329
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,660
And it makes her kind of laugh.

330
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:28,170
And she said,

331
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,400
of course she hated that.

332
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:30,330
Of course she did,

333
00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:31,980
but now she appreciates it.

334
00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:35,040
So that's just one really small example of ways that you

335
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,730
can reframe things for the positive that serve you to help

336
00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:42,000
you, to help you cope with what may be holding you

337
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:42,600
back. So,

338
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,140
okay. What we're going to be talking about today is identifying

339
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:50,280
how you might be sabotaging yourself when it comes to money.

340
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,470
Yes. Yup.

341
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:55,380
Do we just want to start diving into some examples?

342
00:10:55,860 --> 00:11:01,100
I think maybe we could tag team each introduce and we

343
00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:01,830
can talk them through.

344
00:11:01,830 --> 00:11:02,550
So go ahead.

345
00:11:02,580 --> 00:11:03,030
What's one.

346
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,620
You've got All right.

347
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:07,890
I made a list of some that are ways that you

348
00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:12,270
might be sabotaging yourself in your business.

349
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:16,470
And one that I love is I feel guilty making money

350
00:11:16,470 --> 00:11:20,010
out of things that are easy for me or fun for

351
00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:21,750
me. Like as if,

352
00:11:22,050 --> 00:11:23,160
if it were easy and fun,

353
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,730
you shouldn't be charging Because work is supposed to be hard.

354
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,190
Oh, there's the belief.

355
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:36,360
And how can I possibly ask people to pay so much

356
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:40,170
money when this is fun?

357
00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:43,440
For me like photographing dogs is not,

358
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:43,800
you know,

359
00:11:43,810 --> 00:11:44,700
shoveling coal.

360
00:11:45,690 --> 00:11:46,470
Right. You know,

361
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,770
it's funny you say that one because I am recalling a

362
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:53,070
conversation maybe within the last couple of weeks with someone in

363
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,340
elevate who is saying,

364
00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:55,750
but this is fun.

365
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:56,470
And I,

366
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:58,060
I shouldn't charge for something this,

367
00:11:58,210 --> 00:11:58,420
I mean,

368
00:11:58,420 --> 00:11:58,690
it was,

369
00:11:58,720 --> 00:11:59,590
it was slightly different,

370
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:00,280
but it was very,

371
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:01,810
I think it was a similar vein.

372
00:12:02,050 --> 00:12:03,130
That's so interesting.

373
00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:06,610
So the belief there is that work should be what torture

374
00:12:06,610 --> 00:12:09,370
is. It could be many things actually,

375
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:09,880
you know?

376
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,300
Like, but the thing to look at is if you're feeling

377
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:16,150
guilty charging for whatever reason,

378
00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:17,560
because it's Tuesday,

379
00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:19,690
like whatever the reason is,

380
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,460
if you feel guilty charging,

381
00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:23,410
why, why,

382
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,040
what does that mean?

383
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:24,430
Like, there's,

384
00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:27,520
there's a belief under there somewhere and it could be many

385
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:28,150
different things.

386
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:31,060
Right? And so then you need to uncover that belief and

387
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:33,730
then reframe it with something more empowering.

388
00:12:33,940 --> 00:12:36,700
Like I'm so excited.

389
00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:40,300
I'm so grateful that I get to do something I love

390
00:12:40,630 --> 00:12:41,940
and be compensated for it.

391
00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:44,440
Like that's a really great position to be in.

392
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,360
And I created that and I'm proud of myself.

393
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,440
Like that's so positive.

394
00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:50,380
Yeah. One way that I like to encourage people to help

395
00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:52,360
get over that it doesn't always have to be a reframe

396
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,080
of a belief,

397
00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:54,850
but finding a counterexample.

398
00:12:55,210 --> 00:12:56,800
So for instance,

399
00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:58,300
for something like this,

400
00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:03,640
I ask them to remember a time that they were really

401
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:04,900
excited to buy something.

402
00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:05,800
For me,

403
00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:10,840
it is when I rebranded my photography business back in 20

404
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:12,730
15, 20 16,

405
00:13:12,910 --> 00:13:14,770
and I was crossing my fingers and like,

406
00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:15,190
oh my gosh,

407
00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:16,000
I hope they'll work with me.

408
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:16,720
I hope that works for me.

409
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,510
I can't wait to give them like many thousands of dollars

410
00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:22,900
have, remember That This was there to create a field just

411
00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:23,320
like us.

412
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,460
And they're good at their creative field.

413
00:13:24,610 --> 00:13:26,830
And they enjoy their creative field.

414
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:29,710
And I was so excited to pay them,

415
00:13:29,950 --> 00:13:30,760
to give them money.

416
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,110
Yes. So that's how our clients often feel too.

417
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,230
Yeah. So the problem is if you have this limiting belief,

418
00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:41,230
you're projecting it on to others and that's not fair because

419
00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:43,390
that might not be at all what they're thinking.

420
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:46,270
Like if you put Nicole in the case of the client,

421
00:13:46,270 --> 00:13:47,380
if Nicole was your client,

422
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,850
she's excited to give you money.

423
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,340
All you have to do is allow it.

424
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,270
Yeah. Right?

425
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:54,580
Yeah. You don't have to make a big production about it,

426
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:56,800
about what it means that you're having fun.

427
00:13:57,190 --> 00:13:57,760
You're having Fun.

428
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:01,510
Can Take photos,

429
00:14:01,510 --> 00:14:02,470
accept payment.

430
00:14:02,470 --> 00:14:04,120
Repeat. It's that simple.

431
00:14:04,990 --> 00:14:05,230
All right.

432
00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:06,070
What do you got over there?

433
00:14:06,130 --> 00:14:06,370
All Right.

434
00:14:06,370 --> 00:14:07,420
So on my list,

435
00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:09,640
I have ways you might be sabotaging your income.

436
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,380
So you have business and I have income.

437
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,560
And the first one I have is I spend all of

438
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,510
my money as soon as I get it.

439
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,660
Oh. So are you the type of person that will make

440
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:23,290
some money and then find a way to let it go?

441
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:24,490
I had those elites.

442
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:25,540
I had that.

443
00:14:25,540 --> 00:14:26,920
The leads to the easy come easy,

444
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:27,850
go easy,

445
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:28,390
come Easy.

446
00:14:28,390 --> 00:14:30,490
Go. Yep.

447
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,430
No, no.

448
00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:34,900
Yeah, no.

449
00:14:34,930 --> 00:14:36,040
I never had,

450
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,890
like, we've talked about this before in our random talks where

451
00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:42,640
you tend to hold on to the money to feel like

452
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,030
safety is like not hoarding as a strong word,

453
00:14:46,030 --> 00:14:49,090
but basically you're like no iron fist to hold onto it.

454
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,620
There I've always had the,

455
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:53,060
oh, I'll make more.

456
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,200
Oh, but it's okay.

457
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,030
Orbit this thing then comes in like,

458
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,170
oh, I had some savings,

459
00:14:57,170 --> 00:15:00,470
but it's gone because I manifested my car breaking down or

460
00:15:00,470 --> 00:15:04,360
whatever. So it's always kind of been more of a,

461
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:05,180
a common goal.

462
00:15:05,180 --> 00:15:07,040
And I think both of those kind of,

463
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:07,550
you know,

464
00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:08,900
they, they go back to the life experience.

465
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,930
Isn't that funny how you and I are both sort of

466
00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:13,490
on opposite extremes of that,

467
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,720
where like I save and hoard iron fist it and you

468
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,180
let, there's got to be a healthy middle.

469
00:15:20,390 --> 00:15:20,780
Oh yeah.

470
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:22,850
I have gotten a healthier middle,

471
00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:25,220
like, you know now it's and it's again,

472
00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:27,680
reframing about the,

473
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:33,080
getting excited to save and getting excited to purchase other assets.

474
00:15:33,110 --> 00:15:33,950
If we have a rental house,

475
00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:36,050
we purchased an Alabama a couple of years ago.

476
00:15:36,050 --> 00:15:38,660
So we're looking at purchasing another rental house and it's just

477
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:39,410
like, oh,

478
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:43,700
these are the things that can then help us have a

479
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:46,010
cashflow in retirement.

480
00:15:46,430 --> 00:15:47,510
Right. Right.

481
00:15:47,690 --> 00:15:47,990
You know,

482
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,790
like it's just looking,

483
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:50,240
you know,

484
00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:51,110
I'm self-employed,

485
00:15:51,110 --> 00:15:52,850
I don't get all these employer benefits.

486
00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:53,450
So it's like,

487
00:15:53,450 --> 00:15:54,020
I've got a,

488
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,130
there's no pension,

489
00:15:55,190 --> 00:15:57,230
there's no hair of the dog pension that I'm aware of.

490
00:15:57,410 --> 00:15:58,310
It's all on You.

491
00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:01,370
So yeah.

492
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:04,160
Anyway, that's kind of helped me change that as to get

493
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,810
excited about these other pieces.

494
00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:07,610
Okay. Great.

495
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:08,510
All right.

496
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,490
Do you want to read over just like a couple of

497
00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:11,690
yours? Sure.

498
00:16:11,810 --> 00:16:13,580
A couple more I have is,

499
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,960
yeah. Let me read a few of these and then we

500
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,250
can discuss them maybe in a group.

501
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,220
I often manifest unexpected bills.

502
00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:21,170
So if you manifest unexpected bills,

503
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:22,850
you may be sabotaging your income.

504
00:16:23,030 --> 00:16:27,440
Do you barter with people instead of being paid?

505
00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:31,760
Do you have old clients who are paying your old pricing?

506
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,800
Like you won't update your pricing for them and you make

507
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,420
some sort of excuse as well.

508
00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:36,590
They've been with me,

509
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:37,070
you know,

510
00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:41,720
for 18 years and or along the same lines,

511
00:16:42,050 --> 00:16:45,380
I'm afraid to increase my prices for fear of losing all

512
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,130
of my clients.

513
00:16:46,190 --> 00:16:47,900
Actually people say this to me all the time.

514
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:49,010
When we're talking about pricing,

515
00:16:49,010 --> 00:16:49,370
they'll say,

516
00:16:49,370 --> 00:16:51,110
well, I can't increase my prices.

517
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,660
I'm going to lose all my clients to which I respond

518
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:55,220
all your clients,

519
00:16:56,090 --> 00:17:00,980
right? You're going to lose 100% of your client base because

520
00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:04,040
you raise your prices $50.

521
00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:07,250
That is definitely a,

522
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:08,060
you know,

523
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:09,770
you're, you're catastrophizing.

524
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:14,000
You're telling yourself this big story about what might could happen,

525
00:17:14,180 --> 00:17:17,120
but you're saying a hundred percent of the people,

526
00:17:17,630 --> 00:17:17,930
you know,

527
00:17:17,930 --> 00:17:18,650
and that's not true.

528
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,110
I understand raising your prices can be a little unnerving.

529
00:17:21,110 --> 00:17:23,510
Sure. I've been in that position and you might have to

530
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,400
establish a new client base,

531
00:17:25,460 --> 00:17:28,190
but I don't think you're going to lose a hundred percent

532
00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:28,460
of them.

533
00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:31,070
So you don't raise your prices because of that fear.

534
00:17:31,070 --> 00:17:32,750
Or you continue to charge your old prices.

535
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:34,670
You have different people paying different prices.

536
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:35,240
And there's just,

537
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:35,840
it's all,

538
00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:38,180
all of that really is wrapped up in fear.

539
00:17:38,180 --> 00:17:39,290
And it is for sure.

540
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,240
Sabotaging your income.

541
00:17:42,650 --> 00:17:43,340
Yeah. So again,

542
00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:45,320
guys, listen to these and if you're like,

543
00:17:45,350 --> 00:17:50,130
oh, I connect with that the way forward to ask why,

544
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,840
what belief is underneath that?

545
00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:53,430
And then let's kind of change that belief.

546
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:55,200
And I got a couple of you ready.

547
00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:56,550
I like this one.

548
00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:57,780
I make excuses.

549
00:17:57,780 --> 00:17:58,680
Like I'm not ready.

550
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,390
When an opportunity presents itself.

551
00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:03,570
I resent other people's business success.

552
00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:09,360
I rarely look at my business statistics such as average sale

553
00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:12,420
cost of goods sold like the actual numbers or open up

554
00:18:12,420 --> 00:18:12,870
your business,

555
00:18:12,870 --> 00:18:13,500
checking account,

556
00:18:13,530 --> 00:18:15,510
balancing your business checking account,

557
00:18:15,510 --> 00:18:18,210
or balancing your books or keeping books.

558
00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:22,050
I avoid posting pictures of myself and my business.

559
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,350
And I'm obsessed with the business.

560
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:26,790
Nemesis that I quote,

561
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,050
hate, read all their stuff.

562
00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:30,690
That is so funny.

563
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:32,040
He was just talking about an elevator.

564
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,480
She follows someone that she hates.

565
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:33,930
And I said,

566
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:35,040
why are you doing that?

567
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,080
It's not serving you.

568
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,660
And she just went on this rant about this person.

569
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:40,080
And I said,

570
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,160
listen, I'm not immune to this.

571
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,450
There are certainly people I don't like.

572
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,640
And sometimes out of morbid curiosity,

573
00:18:44,850 --> 00:18:46,770
I will go check their social media.

574
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,180
But when you,

575
00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:52,290
when you have that kind of resentment or anger or bitterness,

576
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:53,610
even if you think,

577
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,140
even if you think it's not that big of a deal,

578
00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:56,190
it's just kind of low level.

579
00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:58,500
It is sabotaging your business and your income.

580
00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,010
I mean,

581
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,550
that is the fastest way to block money is to criticize

582
00:19:02,550 --> 00:19:05,010
others that have it or that you think habit.

583
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:09,120
So if you have an issue or a trigger with someone

584
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:09,840
in your industry,

585
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,160
or maybe not even in your industry,

586
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,840
I'm going to implore you to stop following them because it

587
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:20,160
is absolutely sabotaging your income and your business.

588
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:20,670
And it's funny,

589
00:19:20,670 --> 00:19:21,300
you said,

590
00:19:21,990 --> 00:19:24,810
what did you say about avoiding looking at your finances,

591
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:25,350
your business,

592
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:28,920
Right? You can just avoid your head in the sand for

593
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:29,880
looking at anything.

594
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,910
Financial, A couple of those on my list.

595
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:33,330
I have,

596
00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:37,200
I avoid looking at my bank account or I feel guilty

597
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,190
about my bank account.

598
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:40,170
I have no idea how much data I'm in.

599
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,070
I'm in denial.

600
00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:41,430
Those are,

601
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:41,880
you know,

602
00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:45,180
these are all the same sort of symptom of I'm putting

603
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:45,960
my head in the sand,

604
00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:47,810
like lalalalala.

605
00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:49,980
I can't hear you Look at it.

606
00:19:51,660 --> 00:19:53,010
Like I don't have to deal with it.

607
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,920
Yeah, I have for sure.

608
00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:56,690
No judgment.

609
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,160
I've been in that position many years ago when we were

610
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:01,110
building the homestead and we were hemorrhaging money.

611
00:20:01,110 --> 00:20:01,950
I remember thinking,

612
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:02,730
I just can't look,

613
00:20:04,090 --> 00:20:06,630
look at how much money is going out,

614
00:20:06,630 --> 00:20:11,820
but you can't fix what you don't acknowledge.

615
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,540
Could you today in one simple step is to log in

616
00:20:15,540 --> 00:20:18,120
to your business or your personal bank account and just look

617
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:20,460
at it and acknowledge it for what it is.

618
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:24,780
Don't label it and say,

619
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,100
oh my gosh,

620
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:26,940
this is horrible.

621
00:20:26,940 --> 00:20:28,050
I'm so terrible.

622
00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:29,010
I'm a bad person.

623
00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:30,360
This is why I don't look at this because I feel

624
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:30,690
like crap.

625
00:20:30,690 --> 00:20:30,900
No, no,

626
00:20:30,900 --> 00:20:31,100
no, no,

627
00:20:31,110 --> 00:20:32,100
no. It's just a number.

628
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,090
It didn't do anything to you.

629
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:35,550
It's just a number or the opposite of that is you

630
00:20:35,550 --> 00:20:36,330
look at it and you're like,

631
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,330
oh wow,

632
00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:39,570
I'm amazing.

633
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:40,440
I'm okay.

634
00:20:40,470 --> 00:20:42,180
Neither one can serve you.

635
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:43,950
It's just is right.

636
00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:45,330
Whatever. It's just a number.

637
00:20:45,630 --> 00:20:46,470
It's just a number.

638
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:47,560
Do you want it to go up?

639
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:48,700
Probably. Okay.

640
00:20:48,910 --> 00:20:49,840
What's the next step.

641
00:20:49,870 --> 00:20:52,690
But the judgment and the labeling and what you tell yourself,

642
00:20:52,690 --> 00:20:54,910
it means that's when it becomes destructive.

643
00:20:55,060 --> 00:20:56,380
And we want this to be you.

644
00:20:56,390 --> 00:20:58,660
We want you to have a healthy relationship obviously with your

645
00:20:58,660 --> 00:21:00,730
business, but especially your bank accounts.

646
00:21:00,790 --> 00:21:03,610
So you could log in and just acknowledge it and like,

647
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,430
okay, that is what it is ignoring.

648
00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:09,220
It does not solve the problem.

649
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,810
Logically. This makes sense.

650
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:11,260
Am I right?

651
00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:13,360
Why are people?

652
00:21:14,410 --> 00:21:15,490
Yeah. Well,

653
00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:19,630
and I think that goes back to what procrastination really means,

654
00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:22,780
which is often fear or not knowing what the next steps

655
00:21:22,780 --> 00:21:25,660
are. So I think it could be a combination of both

656
00:21:25,660 --> 00:21:26,800
of those things in this case,

657
00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:27,640
if you're in debt.

658
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:28,270
And you're just like,

659
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:28,660
I just,

660
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:29,410
I don't know.

661
00:21:29,470 --> 00:21:32,680
I don't know where I'm going to pay for these things

662
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:33,130
or how,

663
00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:34,000
or just like,

664
00:21:34,420 --> 00:21:38,320
and, or I think it also can tie into,

665
00:21:38,350 --> 00:21:40,570
I love the quote and I don't remember where I heard

666
00:21:40,570 --> 00:21:42,310
it. It might've been Marie condo.

667
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:42,880
I don't know.

668
00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:46,510
But it was clutter is just a decision that needs to

669
00:21:46,510 --> 00:21:46,960
be made.

670
00:21:47,230 --> 00:21:52,720
Right? So oftentimes ignoring this or like,

671
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:53,920
it's just,

672
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,870
it's a decision that needs to be made.

673
00:21:56,020 --> 00:21:58,300
Like you need to see where you are.

674
00:21:58,300 --> 00:21:59,200
No judgment.

675
00:21:59,200 --> 00:21:59,770
Just like,

676
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:00,190
all right,

677
00:22:00,190 --> 00:22:01,240
this is the Plainfield.

678
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,230
This is what is,

679
00:22:02,770 --> 00:22:03,400
is that,

680
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:06,640
this is the situation that I am currently in now,

681
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:07,930
what am I going to do about it?

682
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:09,280
And on the flip side,

683
00:22:09,310 --> 00:22:10,600
I would also like to say,

684
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,030
I think it's okay if you log in and you're happy

685
00:22:13,030 --> 00:22:15,400
with what you see that you don't want to be like,

686
00:22:15,460 --> 00:22:15,850
oh yeah,

687
00:22:15,850 --> 00:22:16,360
I'm awesome.

688
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:21,730
But I think you can celebrate the fact that you have

689
00:22:21,730 --> 00:22:25,240
been making good decisions or that you have been taking proper

690
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,750
action. So I'll have proper is not necessarily the right labeling

691
00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:30,250
cause that implies some judgment.

692
00:22:30,610 --> 00:22:32,140
But, but you had dictation,

693
00:22:32,650 --> 00:22:33,640
you haven't taken action.

694
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:34,660
That has been beneficial.

695
00:22:35,710 --> 00:22:36,070
So yeah,

696
00:22:36,730 --> 00:22:39,310
I met a friend a few years ago through photography.

697
00:22:39,310 --> 00:22:41,350
This is maybe four or five years ago.

698
00:22:41,350 --> 00:22:44,560
And she had expressed to me some interest in learning how

699
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:45,730
to get debt free.

700
00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:48,190
She was insignificant as a significant amount of debt.

701
00:22:48,220 --> 00:22:50,140
And we started talking and you know,

702
00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:51,550
I was like asking her what was going on.

703
00:22:51,550 --> 00:22:52,210
And she said,

704
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:52,510
you know,

705
00:22:52,510 --> 00:22:56,500
school loans and car payments and credit cards maxed out,

706
00:22:56,530 --> 00:22:57,550
like, you know,

707
00:22:57,580 --> 00:22:58,540
all of the things.

708
00:22:58,660 --> 00:23:00,730
And she was just making minimum payments on everything.

709
00:23:00,730 --> 00:23:03,340
So she was getting eaten alive by interest obviously.

710
00:23:03,430 --> 00:23:04,240
And I said,

711
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:05,420
well, how much debt are you in?

712
00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:07,180
And which one are you tackling first look up,

713
00:23:07,180 --> 00:23:07,840
Dave Ramsey,

714
00:23:07,870 --> 00:23:08,740
all of those things.

715
00:23:08,740 --> 00:23:09,430
And she said,

716
00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:10,210
I have no idea.

717
00:23:10,210 --> 00:23:11,980
I just can't look at it.

718
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:12,490
And I said,

719
00:23:12,490 --> 00:23:14,140
well, step one,

720
00:23:14,170 --> 00:23:17,500
you've got to know the number because you have to know

721
00:23:17,590 --> 00:23:20,080
what you are going to be dealing with.

722
00:23:20,110 --> 00:23:21,670
And so she came back to me,

723
00:23:21,670 --> 00:23:21,940
I don't know,

724
00:23:21,940 --> 00:23:22,870
a couple weeks later or so.

725
00:23:22,870 --> 00:23:23,950
And she said,

726
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,050
Heather, it's $90,000,

727
00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,090
8,000 in consumer debt.

728
00:23:28,150 --> 00:23:29,740
This is not a mortgage,

729
00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:30,880
not a mortgage.

730
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:31,930
There's no mortgage on that.

731
00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:35,140
They were renting and meager salaries.

732
00:23:35,230 --> 00:23:36,160
So she was like,

733
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,930
there's just no way it will just never happen.

734
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,520
I'll just be in debt for the rest of my life.

735
00:23:39,550 --> 00:23:41,620
And I encouraged her to reframe that thinking.

736
00:23:41,620 --> 00:23:43,180
Yeah, that's a big number that is,

737
00:23:43,180 --> 00:23:45,220
I could see where that would feel overwhelming,

738
00:23:45,260 --> 00:23:48,050
but what can you do right now?

739
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:48,350
You know?

740
00:23:48,350 --> 00:23:51,050
So she ended up consolidating a few of the credit cards

741
00:23:51,050 --> 00:23:52,340
and getting rid of the others,

742
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:53,330
stop using them.

743
00:23:53,570 --> 00:23:54,770
Okay. Right.

744
00:23:54,770 --> 00:23:55,430
Stop wine.

745
00:23:55,700 --> 00:23:57,770
And then start making more than the minimum payment.

746
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:58,540
Okay. I,

747
00:23:58,540 --> 00:24:00,140
I want to say it was four.

748
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,460
It might've been five years ago.

749
00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:02,810
As of today,

750
00:24:03,020 --> 00:24:06,290
she is down to less than $15,000

751
00:24:06,290 --> 00:24:06,650
in debt.

752
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:11,090
So she's paid $75,000

753
00:24:11,150 --> 00:24:13,320
in that her student loans are done and,

754
00:24:13,450 --> 00:24:14,510
and listen,

755
00:24:14,900 --> 00:24:16,220
this is not to be understated.

756
00:24:16,550 --> 00:24:17,600
It's a meager salary.

757
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,550
Her and her husband don't make a ton of money,

758
00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:20,390
but they just,

759
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,400
they just acknowledged the problem.

760
00:24:22,430 --> 00:24:24,020
And then they took action and did,

761
00:24:24,020 --> 00:24:25,760
and she has just been a force.

762
00:24:25,790 --> 00:24:28,430
She's been so focused and she's free.

763
00:24:28,430 --> 00:24:29,780
I saw her the other day and she's like,

764
00:24:29,810 --> 00:24:31,520
I can't even tell you what it's like to have those

765
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,450
student loans paid off.

766
00:24:32,450 --> 00:24:34,220
I just never thought it was going to happen.

767
00:24:34,380 --> 00:24:35,180
And it did.

768
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:36,410
And she feels great,

769
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,290
but it started with a really difficult decision.

770
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,590
And that was to look at the number and acknowledge the

771
00:24:42,590 --> 00:24:44,330
problem. Yeah.

772
00:24:44,630 --> 00:24:44,960
All right.

773
00:24:45,050 --> 00:24:45,950
Okay. What else?

774
00:24:45,950 --> 00:24:47,090
What else do you have over there?

775
00:24:47,390 --> 00:24:49,430
Yeah. I have a,

776
00:24:49,430 --> 00:24:51,860
you might be sabotaging your income.

777
00:24:52,460 --> 00:24:54,170
If you like this,

778
00:24:54,260 --> 00:24:57,290
do you get regular parking or speeding fines?

779
00:24:58,910 --> 00:25:01,420
I have an issue with,

780
00:25:02,690 --> 00:25:05,330
I have a collection of sweeping tickets from various countries.

781
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,390
Countries. You go to other countries and you get speed.

782
00:25:08,420 --> 00:25:09,650
That's that's a bold move.

783
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,080
You don't want to end up in a Mexican Videos.

784
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,150
Well, the one I got from France,

785
00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:14,810
you know,

786
00:25:14,810 --> 00:25:17,360
here, you're safe to go like seven miles per hour over.

787
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:18,500
Right? Right.

788
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:19,910
No, not in France.

789
00:25:19,910 --> 00:25:21,350
Apparently I was going,

790
00:25:21,350 --> 00:25:21,590
it would,

791
00:25:21,590 --> 00:25:23,180
the speed limit was 90 kilometers,

792
00:25:23,180 --> 00:25:24,500
kilometers per hour,

793
00:25:24,950 --> 00:25:26,300
not miles.

794
00:25:27,230 --> 00:25:27,800
Okay. Whatever.

795
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:31,220
So I was going 40 or 90 kilometers per hour.

796
00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:33,410
I was on the proper thing.

797
00:25:33,590 --> 00:25:34,610
That's going 97.

798
00:25:34,940 --> 00:25:35,240
So it's like,

799
00:25:35,540 --> 00:25:35,870
I got a,

800
00:25:35,930 --> 00:25:37,190
I got a little wiggle room.

801
00:25:37,550 --> 00:25:39,950
No, they don't give you wiggle room if they do.

802
00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:40,760
It's very small.

803
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:45,110
And then the other one actually got three in Brazil.

804
00:25:46,430 --> 00:25:46,880
Because again,

805
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:51,200
there are those cameras and I'm following my stepbrother lived in

806
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,010
Brazil for 20 years.

807
00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,030
So we've been a couple of times.

808
00:25:53,030 --> 00:25:55,160
And we were driving from San Paulo to<inaudible>,

809
00:25:56,060 --> 00:25:59,420
which is this amazing little coastal town used to have no

810
00:25:59,420 --> 00:26:00,320
roads down to it.

811
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,060
Like the 15 hundreds,

812
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:04,370
the Spanish would like ship their gold from there.

813
00:26:05,450 --> 00:26:07,370
It's just the coolest little town.

814
00:26:07,670 --> 00:26:09,860
But to drive down to the town,

815
00:26:10,370 --> 00:26:12,860
you're driving down these like crazy steep mountainous roads,

816
00:26:12,860 --> 00:26:14,140
but that's not where I got speeding ticket.

817
00:26:14,150 --> 00:26:15,140
Cause I was going very slowly.

818
00:26:15,620 --> 00:26:18,830
The, where I got the speeding typic ticket because I didn't

819
00:26:18,830 --> 00:26:23,780
really have phone or maps was following my stepbrother on the

820
00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:27,140
highway, out of San Paulo to try to get to part

821
00:26:27,140 --> 00:26:27,560
of cheese.

822
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:30,350
So I'm not just like lost on some man highway in

823
00:26:30,350 --> 00:26:31,190
the middle of Brazil.

824
00:26:33,140 --> 00:26:33,700
My brother,

825
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:34,910
my brother was in another car.

826
00:26:34,910 --> 00:26:38,150
So we were like a little train and somebody is like,

827
00:26:38,450 --> 00:26:39,770
Hey, did you get,

828
00:26:40,190 --> 00:26:41,960
it was thankfully like $36.

829
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:46,500
Cause it was charged reality reality in Brazil.

830
00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:48,540
Anyway, it was charging their currency,

831
00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:51,570
which at the time the dollar was a bit stronger.

832
00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:53,850
So thankfully it was only $36 per ticket.

833
00:26:54,060 --> 00:26:55,110
But my brother was like,

834
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:59,100
ah, did you get a random $36 charge from the car

835
00:26:59,100 --> 00:26:59,970
company? It's like,

836
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,020
ah, yeah,

837
00:27:01,020 --> 00:27:03,750
it, then we kept on getting another one like dropped every

838
00:27:03,750 --> 00:27:05,070
week or two for a couple weeks.

839
00:27:05,070 --> 00:27:05,310
I'm like,

840
00:27:05,940 --> 00:27:07,080
he's going to stop.

841
00:27:07,410 --> 00:27:09,150
Wow. So you got three.

842
00:27:09,170 --> 00:27:10,080
I don't know if you,

843
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:11,010
I, you know,

844
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,250
I don't think I would classify those as sabotaging your income

845
00:27:14,250 --> 00:27:16,230
because I think those were outliers.

846
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:16,710
I mean,

847
00:27:16,710 --> 00:27:17,970
that doesn't happen to you in the states.

848
00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:18,450
Does It?

849
00:27:18,690 --> 00:27:19,720
No, usually no.

850
00:27:21,510 --> 00:27:22,050
Okay, good.

851
00:27:22,290 --> 00:27:23,610
I do have a bit of a lead foot,

852
00:27:23,610 --> 00:27:24,180
but anyway,

853
00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:24,480
that is,

854
00:27:24,690 --> 00:27:26,250
I don't think that's a sabotage for me.

855
00:27:26,250 --> 00:27:26,850
That's just a,

856
00:27:27,090 --> 00:27:27,840
that it,

857
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,580
it might sound from a,

858
00:27:30,090 --> 00:27:31,650
I just gotta hurry up and get this done so I

859
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:32,700
can get onto the next thing.

860
00:27:33,030 --> 00:27:33,780
Yes. Yeah.

861
00:27:33,810 --> 00:27:35,430
Who has time to drive the speed limit?

862
00:27:37,020 --> 00:27:39,510
Okay. Another way you might be sabotaging your calf,

863
00:27:39,510 --> 00:27:42,450
right? Another way you might be sabotaging your income is if

864
00:27:42,450 --> 00:27:45,390
you procrastinate following up when you know you should.

865
00:27:45,690 --> 00:27:46,740
Oh yeah.

866
00:27:46,830 --> 00:27:49,110
And I was talking to someone in the accelerator yesterday who

867
00:27:49,110 --> 00:27:51,000
said, I have a hundred names from a list I got

868
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,800
last year and I've never emailed them.

869
00:27:53,220 --> 00:27:54,870
Right. And I said,

870
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:56,310
why not?

871
00:27:56,340 --> 00:27:57,090
Well, you know,

872
00:27:57,090 --> 00:27:58,290
it was COVID last year.

873
00:27:58,290 --> 00:27:58,920
And I said,

874
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:01,020
you mean you weren't allowed to email during COVID.

875
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,390
That was a very special restriction.

876
00:28:03,810 --> 00:28:04,830
Yeah. No email.

877
00:28:05,030 --> 00:28:05,580
No. I mean,

878
00:28:05,580 --> 00:28:06,060
I got,

879
00:28:06,270 --> 00:28:07,320
I understood what she was saying,

880
00:28:07,380 --> 00:28:07,920
which was,

881
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,360
I wouldn't be able to schedule the sessions,

882
00:28:09,540 --> 00:28:11,400
but you could have followed up.

883
00:28:11,430 --> 00:28:12,750
You could have made contact.

884
00:28:12,750 --> 00:28:16,920
So are you procrastinating following up with something that actually might

885
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:17,700
get you business?

886
00:28:18,060 --> 00:28:20,550
I procrastinate asking for testimonials.

887
00:28:21,030 --> 00:28:21,420
You do.

888
00:28:21,420 --> 00:28:22,080
Y well,

889
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:22,410
no, no,

890
00:28:22,410 --> 00:28:23,760
no. Just people out there.

891
00:28:24,780 --> 00:28:29,190
This is something You don't ask for testimony.

892
00:28:29,580 --> 00:28:32,010
I know that many of my students do because people are

893
00:28:32,010 --> 00:28:34,440
asking about it all the time of like I got,

894
00:28:34,530 --> 00:28:36,510
I like they're.

895
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,070
I think they're scared that they're going to come back and

896
00:28:41,070 --> 00:28:41,520
be like,

897
00:28:41,790 --> 00:28:42,510
yeah, no,

898
00:28:42,510 --> 00:28:44,160
I spent $2,000

899
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:44,970
and I hate it.

900
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,440
And I think you're a fraud,

901
00:28:47,490 --> 00:28:49,680
Which is never going to happen.

902
00:28:49,710 --> 00:28:51,780
They a whole bunch of money and they're thrilled.

903
00:28:52,090 --> 00:28:53,400
Thrilled love you now.

904
00:28:53,790 --> 00:28:55,830
So I would say one of two things is going to

905
00:28:55,830 --> 00:28:58,290
happen when you ask for a testimonial and I would say

906
00:28:58,500 --> 00:28:59,760
90% of the time,

907
00:28:59,910 --> 00:29:04,050
you're going to get a beautiful testimonial and maybe 10% of

908
00:29:04,050 --> 00:29:05,010
the time or last,

909
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,510
they just won't get back to you.

910
00:29:06,660 --> 00:29:07,740
Not because they weren't happy,

911
00:29:07,740 --> 00:29:09,000
but maybe because they were busy.

912
00:29:09,060 --> 00:29:09,270
I mean,

913
00:29:09,270 --> 00:29:09,870
you just don't know.

914
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,720
Right. But chances of somebody saying,

915
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:13,230
you know,

916
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,360
I can't believe I spent all this money and it was

917
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:17,220
terrible. It's like not going to happen.

918
00:29:17,220 --> 00:29:19,380
So yeah.

919
00:29:19,410 --> 00:29:22,800
But I can see where that sabotaging your business.

920
00:29:22,830 --> 00:29:25,380
If you're afraid to ask for people to tell you how

921
00:29:25,380 --> 00:29:26,340
awesome you are,

922
00:29:27,230 --> 00:29:29,190
Right. Then you are,

923
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,650
you're putting up a block against more business.

924
00:29:31,740 --> 00:29:34,080
Yeah. And social proof is so important these days.

925
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:34,350
I mean,

926
00:29:34,350 --> 00:29:36,990
revise anything off of Amazon without checking the reviews.

927
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,070
Oh my gosh.

928
00:29:38,910 --> 00:29:39,870
It is ridiculous.

929
00:29:39,870 --> 00:29:42,880
How many reviews I read and how deep I go on

930
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:43,630
this shack?

931
00:29:43,630 --> 00:29:44,680
It I'm looking for,

932
00:29:44,710 --> 00:29:46,270
like, it is literally a shirt.

933
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:47,410
So fun.

934
00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:48,100
I love it.

935
00:29:48,100 --> 00:29:48,940
Here's another one too,

936
00:29:48,940 --> 00:29:50,620
though, about a fear of asking.

937
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:54,070
And that is a fear of asking for feedback,

938
00:29:54,070 --> 00:29:57,760
like constructive feedback on your images or your pricing or anything

939
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:58,000
like that.

940
00:29:58,480 --> 00:29:59,170
Well, you know,

941
00:29:59,170 --> 00:29:59,860
in that case,

942
00:29:59,860 --> 00:30:01,990
because I've definitely been in that position,

943
00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:03,100
it's the ego,

944
00:30:03,130 --> 00:30:06,010
the ego is afraid of what it might hear.

945
00:30:06,070 --> 00:30:09,460
So it's protecting you by not even asking because you,

946
00:30:09,610 --> 00:30:13,570
you, you want the negative feedback because you want to improve

947
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:14,830
constructive, I should say,

948
00:30:15,490 --> 00:30:17,080
But not Exactly.

949
00:30:17,110 --> 00:30:17,710
Not really.

950
00:30:17,710 --> 00:30:21,910
Don't tell me I I've struggled with that,

951
00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:23,290
but you know,

952
00:30:23,380 --> 00:30:24,430
I will go to my husband.

953
00:30:24,430 --> 00:30:26,560
I've actually come to you a few times and I've said,

954
00:30:26,710 --> 00:30:28,000
Hey, tell me what I'm missing.

955
00:30:28,630 --> 00:30:30,610
What, where am I in?

956
00:30:30,610 --> 00:30:31,750
You? You'll give me some,

957
00:30:31,780 --> 00:30:33,070
I think you need to do more of this.

958
00:30:33,070 --> 00:30:34,720
I think you're avoiding this or Whatever.

959
00:30:38,500 --> 00:30:39,340
And I say,

960
00:30:39,790 --> 00:30:40,720
when you tell me,

961
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:43,000
because we have a very good relationship that way,

962
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:44,980
for some reason,

963
00:30:45,010 --> 00:30:48,880
I am able to readily easily accept and receive that from

964
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,470
you because I'll say Roger that,

965
00:30:50,590 --> 00:30:53,290
and then I'll go off and do whatever it is I

966
00:30:53,290 --> 00:30:54,040
need to do.

967
00:30:54,190 --> 00:30:58,750
So I think maybe it's a matter of choosing wisely,

968
00:30:59,050 --> 00:31:03,400
who you allow to speak that criticism or constructive feedback into

969
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,690
your life choose wisely.

970
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:06,610
Because if it's someone that you're like,

971
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,310
oh, I don't know you,

972
00:31:08,310 --> 00:31:10,390
you're not going to receive it the way it's intended.

973
00:31:10,390 --> 00:31:11,800
So is it someone that you trust?

974
00:31:11,830 --> 00:31:14,680
Is it someone that you respect and that you can really

975
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:15,610
handle it from?

976
00:31:15,610 --> 00:31:19,870
Like, and if not find someone else Yeah.

977
00:31:20,110 --> 00:31:20,800
A hundred percent.

978
00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:21,970
And you know,

979
00:31:21,970 --> 00:31:23,500
there's a very different,

980
00:31:23,830 --> 00:31:29,620
very different when people give feedback criticism versus just feedback from

981
00:31:29,620 --> 00:31:31,420
a place of wanting them to improve.

982
00:31:31,990 --> 00:31:32,800
So, you know,

983
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:37,270
if you're receiving feedback from someone that it's coming across as

984
00:31:37,930 --> 00:31:39,250
not helpful,

985
00:31:39,970 --> 00:31:41,470
okay. Maybe try somewhere else.

986
00:31:41,770 --> 00:31:46,510
But if any feedback you receive from anyone ever is feeling

987
00:31:46,510 --> 00:31:47,260
not helpful,

988
00:31:47,260 --> 00:31:51,070
then it might be the way that you are projecting or

989
00:31:51,070 --> 00:31:54,430
receiving that what's the Denominator.

990
00:31:55,900 --> 00:31:59,470
If you can't receive it from anyone,

991
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:03,250
it is most likely your ego protecting you.

992
00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:04,870
Like you just get really,

993
00:32:05,050 --> 00:32:05,290
you know,

994
00:32:05,290 --> 00:32:08,890
if you find yourself getting defensive or like trying to explain,

995
00:32:09,070 --> 00:32:09,550
you know,

996
00:32:09,550 --> 00:32:11,620
when I call people out on some of this crop and

997
00:32:11,620 --> 00:32:14,980
elevate the jump immediately to defensive posture,

998
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:18,100
which I know I know is putting up a barrier and

999
00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:19,270
blocking, you know,

1000
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:22,240
what I'm trying to maybe help them with.

1001
00:32:22,270 --> 00:32:23,740
So I'm aware of that.

1002
00:32:23,740 --> 00:32:24,220
And then I,

1003
00:32:24,310 --> 00:32:25,060
I think to myself,

1004
00:32:25,060 --> 00:32:27,040
what we're gonna have to try a different approach because that

1005
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:27,700
didn't work.

1006
00:32:27,730 --> 00:32:28,060
You know,

1007
00:32:28,060 --> 00:32:29,020
they're defensive.

1008
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,540
They want to explain themselves and you,

1009
00:32:31,630 --> 00:32:34,510
you can't grow from a place of defense,

1010
00:32:35,770 --> 00:32:38,560
right? You have to be open and receptive to it.

1011
00:32:38,590 --> 00:32:39,530
Even it's like,

1012
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:42,290
Ooh, out Here,

1013
00:32:42,290 --> 00:32:43,940
I got one more in this page I want to do.

1014
00:32:44,780 --> 00:32:46,850
And that is well to,

1015
00:32:46,850 --> 00:32:50,330
I fixate on my mistakes rather than my successes.

1016
00:32:50,780 --> 00:32:51,980
And it goes hand in hand,

1017
00:32:52,010 --> 00:32:53,960
I avoid celebrating milestones.

1018
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,220
I just move on to something else.

1019
00:32:55,580 --> 00:32:57,440
Oh, Okay.

1020
00:32:57,470 --> 00:32:59,690
Wait, we've got to talk about that for a second.

1021
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:00,890
Do you know?

1022
00:33:01,490 --> 00:33:05,120
I was literally talking with my therapist about that yesterday,

1023
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:09,170
about how I will launch something that goes really,

1024
00:33:09,170 --> 00:33:09,950
really well.

1025
00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,140
And I will celebrate and I'll be like,

1026
00:33:12,140 --> 00:33:12,920
this is awesome.

1027
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:13,640
I'll celebrate.

1028
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:14,630
I'll go to target.

1029
00:33:14,630 --> 00:33:15,530
I don't know whatever it is,

1030
00:33:15,530 --> 00:33:15,920
you know,

1031
00:33:16,370 --> 00:33:17,870
but it's super brief.

1032
00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:22,400
And I'm like onto the next I do the same.

1033
00:33:22,550 --> 00:33:24,200
And actually I recorded a biz tip.

1034
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:25,310
You guys will hear it soon,

1035
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,910
Friday. Cause we wrapped up the summit last week.

1036
00:33:29,270 --> 00:33:31,460
And on Monday I'm like,

1037
00:33:31,670 --> 00:33:34,010
I'm going to schedule myself massage for Friday morning.

1038
00:33:34,580 --> 00:33:35,450
And so I did.

1039
00:33:36,020 --> 00:33:39,920
And let me tell you had it not been prescheduled and

1040
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,230
had it not been past the cancellation point.

1041
00:33:42,230 --> 00:33:45,260
I would've canceled it or I wouldn't have gone because I

1042
00:33:45,260 --> 00:33:47,990
sat down and I was like catching up with like a

1043
00:33:47,990 --> 00:33:49,670
couple other emails and this and that in the morning.

1044
00:33:49,670 --> 00:33:49,880
I'm like,

1045
00:33:49,910 --> 00:33:50,210
oh God,

1046
00:33:50,210 --> 00:33:51,560
I got so much other stuff that I want to get

1047
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,360
done. I don't need to do that.

1048
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,090
So I totally would've skipped it if I could have.

1049
00:33:57,470 --> 00:33:58,760
Wow. So you,

1050
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,040
so we both struggle with this and I'm not,

1051
00:34:01,460 --> 00:34:01,910
you know,

1052
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,610
because I talked to my therapist about it yesterday.

1053
00:34:04,820 --> 00:34:07,130
I don't have this all figured out yet for myself,

1054
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:12,920
except that I just don't allow the space to celebrate and

1055
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:18,170
breathe because I have this need to be productive and being

1056
00:34:18,170 --> 00:34:20,480
productive and making things happen means you need to be.

1057
00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:23,060
Yeah. What does the being productive mean?

1058
00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:23,930
Is that a,

1059
00:34:23,930 --> 00:34:26,720
an identity thing or is that a,

1060
00:34:26,750 --> 00:34:27,710
I need okay.

1061
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,190
A hundred percent identity that if I am not productive,

1062
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:35,690
I am not worth while my work is tied,

1063
00:34:35,900 --> 00:34:38,630
my identity and my worth is tied to my productivity in

1064
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:42,380
my productivity is a matter of like accomplishment and success.

1065
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:43,130
So I,

1066
00:34:43,220 --> 00:34:44,240
I have one,

1067
00:34:44,390 --> 00:34:47,030
but because it's on some levels,

1068
00:34:47,030 --> 00:34:49,220
not healthy on a lot of levels,

1069
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:50,480
I'll have a success,

1070
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:50,840
but see,

1071
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:51,740
it's never enough,

1072
00:34:52,490 --> 00:34:54,050
right? Because that's not the real issue.

1073
00:34:55,190 --> 00:34:58,010
I haven't uncovered what the real issue is because then I

1074
00:34:58,010 --> 00:34:58,850
immediately jumped it.

1075
00:34:58,850 --> 00:35:00,740
Now I did have something go really well.

1076
00:35:00,740 --> 00:35:04,460
Recently I did take one day off last week and just

1077
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:05,510
did other things,

1078
00:35:05,510 --> 00:35:05,990
you know,

1079
00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:06,710
personal things.

1080
00:35:06,710 --> 00:35:08,570
And I felt great about it and it was good.

1081
00:35:08,570 --> 00:35:10,010
But I said to my therapist,

1082
00:35:10,220 --> 00:35:13,020
I, I can't see taking more than a day off.

1083
00:35:13,910 --> 00:35:15,560
Well, well do you do this too?

1084
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,690
Cause this is feeling very familiar to my own life.

1085
00:35:17,870 --> 00:35:19,790
When I take a day off from work,

1086
00:35:20,060 --> 00:35:20,450
I'm like,

1087
00:35:21,110 --> 00:35:22,910
no, I'm going to get a whole bunch of personal stuff

1088
00:35:22,910 --> 00:35:27,590
done around the house.

1089
00:35:27,590 --> 00:35:28,760
I've been procrastinating on,

1090
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,970
which I think is one reason I love to travel so

1091
00:35:31,970 --> 00:35:36,590
much because it forces me to just chill the F out.

1092
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,010
Yeah. Yeah.

1093
00:35:38,370 --> 00:35:40,830
Because otherwise you wouldn't,

1094
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,470
you wouldn't My house and my office is right here.

1095
00:35:43,950 --> 00:35:45,990
All the other things I need to do is right here.

1096
00:35:47,030 --> 00:35:47,640
It's really,

1097
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:48,660
really hard.

1098
00:35:48,900 --> 00:35:50,460
And I can like relax,

1099
00:35:50,460 --> 00:35:50,820
like, oh,

1100
00:35:50,820 --> 00:35:52,200
okay. Going to meet a friend for dinner.

1101
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:52,920
Yeah. All right.

1102
00:35:53,190 --> 00:35:55,320
Done. Even though truly,

1103
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:56,060
almost every time.

1104
00:35:56,070 --> 00:35:56,640
Like, man,

1105
00:35:56,730 --> 00:35:58,140
God, I really don't have time for this,

1106
00:35:58,140 --> 00:36:00,030
but I do.

1107
00:36:00,030 --> 00:36:00,750
And I love it.

1108
00:36:00,750 --> 00:36:01,260
So friends.

1109
00:36:01,260 --> 00:36:05,940
Yeah. I still want to go out with you and yeah.

1110
00:36:05,970 --> 00:36:06,540
I don't know.

1111
00:36:06,540 --> 00:36:07,080
It's just,

1112
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:12,450
it's, it's so hard to slow down and I don't know.

1113
00:36:13,110 --> 00:36:13,440
I mean,

1114
00:36:14,070 --> 00:36:14,430
I don't know.

1115
00:36:14,430 --> 00:36:16,470
I haven't totally uncovered where that comes from too.

1116
00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:18,300
I don't think it's an identity thing.

1117
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:20,310
I think it is.

1118
00:36:22,830 --> 00:36:26,550
It is a belief of if,

1119
00:36:26,730 --> 00:36:28,920
like if I get more done now,

1120
00:36:29,130 --> 00:36:31,650
then that's going to be more room to get even further

1121
00:36:31,650 --> 00:36:35,550
along sooner gets it's a rush to get where I want

1122
00:36:35,550 --> 00:36:35,700
to do,

1123
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,470
But you'll never get there.

1124
00:36:37,740 --> 00:36:38,760
Right? Exactly.

1125
00:36:38,970 --> 00:36:40,230
There's no destination.

1126
00:36:40,250 --> 00:36:44,100
Yeah. Because the goals keep like just changing and pilot on.

1127
00:36:44,370 --> 00:36:46,500
But I think there's also part of that,

1128
00:36:46,500 --> 00:36:47,880
which we had covered this one too,

1129
00:36:49,140 --> 00:36:53,670
is I would like hold off on making offers in my

1130
00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:56,910
business or hold off on bringing income in for certain things.

1131
00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:03,720
And it was because I was mentally saving that opportunity later

1132
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,400
because you know,

1133
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,610
my, my dad worked in the mortgage industry still does and

1134
00:37:09,810 --> 00:37:11,730
2008 was a challenging year.

1135
00:37:12,060 --> 00:37:15,810
So there were a lot of beliefs that yeah.

1136
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:19,740
Were formed deep into my subconscious watching all that happen,

1137
00:37:20,850 --> 00:37:22,230
which yeah.

1138
00:37:22,380 --> 00:37:23,460
Causes me to like,

1139
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:24,660
well, keep going,

1140
00:37:24,660 --> 00:37:25,320
keep going.

1141
00:37:25,950 --> 00:37:27,960
But like save that for later.

1142
00:37:28,020 --> 00:37:28,470
Cause you know,

1143
00:37:28,470 --> 00:37:30,450
you never know when the world's going to fall apart and

1144
00:37:30,450 --> 00:37:31,920
your needs and need to make some money.

1145
00:37:33,570 --> 00:37:34,680
What else I'm wondering?

1146
00:37:34,710 --> 00:37:35,970
I don't know if this is true for you.

1147
00:37:35,970 --> 00:37:36,570
So tell me,

1148
00:37:36,570 --> 00:37:37,920
but this is definitely true for me.

1149
00:37:37,980 --> 00:37:39,240
There's a trust issue here.

1150
00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:40,530
A trust issue with myself,

1151
00:37:40,620 --> 00:37:44,730
meaning I had this success or you have this idea and

1152
00:37:44,730 --> 00:37:48,630
you don't trust yourself to ever like replicated or duplicated again.

1153
00:37:48,750 --> 00:37:51,150
So you're striving to make something happen.

1154
00:37:51,180 --> 00:37:55,050
Because even though you have proof that you are able to

1155
00:37:55,050 --> 00:37:56,400
accomplish these things,

1156
00:37:56,610 --> 00:37:57,180
it's still,

1157
00:37:57,180 --> 00:37:58,770
there's still this lack of like,

1158
00:37:58,800 --> 00:37:59,940
well, what if I can't do it again?

1159
00:38:00,330 --> 00:38:01,620
Well, or,

1160
00:38:01,620 --> 00:38:02,100
or though?

1161
00:38:02,100 --> 00:38:03,360
Yeah. What if it all goes away,

1162
00:38:04,710 --> 00:38:06,060
you start off.

1163
00:38:06,090 --> 00:38:08,040
I think all of us in business start off with my

1164
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:08,730
gosh. Oh my gosh.

1165
00:38:08,730 --> 00:38:09,960
I don't know if I can do this.

1166
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:10,950
How am I going to be able to do this?

1167
00:38:11,430 --> 00:38:12,030
Oh, I don't know.

1168
00:38:12,030 --> 00:38:12,780
I hope I can do this.

1169
00:38:12,780 --> 00:38:13,380
And then you do it.

1170
00:38:13,380 --> 00:38:13,770
And you're like,

1171
00:38:13,830 --> 00:38:14,520
oh my God,

1172
00:38:14,820 --> 00:38:15,540
that's awesome.

1173
00:38:15,780 --> 00:38:16,290
Oh my God,

1174
00:38:16,290 --> 00:38:17,290
what if I can't make it last?

1175
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:19,830
If this was just a fluke and then like you get

1176
00:38:19,830 --> 00:38:21,030
to another level and you're like,

1177
00:38:21,060 --> 00:38:21,630
oh my God,

1178
00:38:21,660 --> 00:38:22,590
I've gotten here now.

1179
00:38:22,890 --> 00:38:23,340
Oh my God.

1180
00:38:23,340 --> 00:38:24,810
But now I have employees.

1181
00:38:24,810 --> 00:38:26,550
Now I have these people like,

1182
00:38:26,580 --> 00:38:27,450
depending on me,

1183
00:38:27,450 --> 00:38:29,310
what if this goes down and now,

1184
00:38:29,340 --> 00:38:29,550
you know,

1185
00:38:29,550 --> 00:38:31,110
my mortgage is bigger or this or that.

1186
00:38:31,110 --> 00:38:33,390
And I've got to pay for the kids' college and you

1187
00:38:33,390 --> 00:38:35,740
know, like it just keeps changing.

1188
00:38:36,010 --> 00:38:37,390
Yes. Yeah.

1189
00:38:37,510 --> 00:38:40,750
And this idea of saving something is because you don't trust

1190
00:38:40,750 --> 00:38:42,490
yourself to have another idea.

1191
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,040
Well, it's not necessarily,

1192
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,720
I did kind of start to flip it around.

1193
00:38:46,750 --> 00:38:47,890
I've gotten much better about it.

1194
00:38:47,890 --> 00:38:49,150
Cause I flipped it around.

1195
00:38:49,180 --> 00:38:51,250
Like the it's all gonna come crashing down.

1196
00:38:51,250 --> 00:38:55,870
And this is a fluke business success is that if I

1197
00:38:55,870 --> 00:38:57,970
created this one so I can create this again.

1198
00:38:58,660 --> 00:38:59,260
You know,

1199
00:38:59,650 --> 00:39:02,230
even if it was something totally unrelated to photography,

1200
00:39:02,230 --> 00:39:02,830
like I still,

1201
00:39:02,830 --> 00:39:04,030
you're never starting again.

1202
00:39:04,030 --> 00:39:05,710
Cause you're starting with the skills that you have.

1203
00:39:05,770 --> 00:39:06,370
That's you know.

1204
00:39:06,430 --> 00:39:08,950
Oh, important to remember man.

1205
00:39:08,950 --> 00:39:09,850
Say that again.

1206
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:11,170
That's a key phrase.

1207
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:12,370
You guys are never,

1208
00:39:12,370 --> 00:39:16,510
ever starting again because you're starting with the skills that you've

1209
00:39:16,510 --> 00:39:17,140
already gained.

1210
00:39:17,140 --> 00:39:19,660
No one's taking those skills and experiences away from you.

1211
00:39:20,050 --> 00:39:23,380
That is so good because you,

1212
00:39:23,380 --> 00:39:26,200
you were able to do it before you have that skillset,

1213
00:39:26,230 --> 00:39:28,300
which means I'm actually going to work on this.

1214
00:39:28,300 --> 00:39:30,580
I'm going to start reframing and using that like,

1215
00:39:30,580 --> 00:39:31,270
well, wait a minute.

1216
00:39:31,300 --> 00:39:32,170
I did that launch.

1217
00:39:32,170 --> 00:39:33,220
It went really well.

1218
00:39:33,580 --> 00:39:34,690
That means I can do it again,

1219
00:39:35,830 --> 00:39:38,320
but my mind automatically goes to,

1220
00:39:38,860 --> 00:39:39,880
okay. Cause I'm human.

1221
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:40,840
Right? Everybody relaxed.

1222
00:39:40,870 --> 00:39:42,550
My mind automatically went to,

1223
00:39:42,610 --> 00:39:43,870
I won't be able to do that again.

1224
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:47,170
It was maybe it was a fluke or I won't be

1225
00:39:47,170 --> 00:39:48,040
able to replicate it.

1226
00:39:48,250 --> 00:39:52,900
And then there's this like slight lack of trust for myself,

1227
00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:53,530
which is weird.

1228
00:39:53,530 --> 00:39:55,060
I have no reason to not trust myself.

1229
00:39:55,090 --> 00:39:56,110
But again,

1230
00:39:56,110 --> 00:39:57,790
it's something I'm working on as well.

1231
00:39:57,790 --> 00:39:59,560
So I think just telling myself,

1232
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:01,210
well, I've done it once I created this.

1233
00:40:01,540 --> 00:40:03,220
So if it did go away,

1234
00:40:03,220 --> 00:40:05,200
if something really catastrophic happened,

1235
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,600
the truth is we built businesses.

1236
00:40:07,900 --> 00:40:09,160
Right? We build businesses.

1237
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:09,730
We've done it.

1238
00:40:09,730 --> 00:40:10,300
We've proven it.

1239
00:40:10,300 --> 00:40:11,620
Which means we could do it again.

1240
00:40:11,620 --> 00:40:14,560
So it wouldn't actually would be easier the next time.

1241
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:16,390
Exactly, Exactly.

1242
00:40:17,290 --> 00:40:18,520
So interesting.

1243
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:21,730
Okay. I have a few over here.

1244
00:40:22,660 --> 00:40:24,220
You could be sabotaging your income.

1245
00:40:24,460 --> 00:40:27,610
If you feel guilty about spending money,

1246
00:40:27,610 --> 00:40:29,980
when there are people struggling in the world,

1247
00:40:30,070 --> 00:40:31,960
oh, That's a big one.

1248
00:40:32,290 --> 00:40:36,010
Like I have so much and they have so little And

1249
00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:37,870
do I deserve to have,

1250
00:40:39,090 --> 00:40:40,360
It's not Fair.

1251
00:40:40,570 --> 00:40:41,770
Choose whatever you're buying.

1252
00:40:42,010 --> 00:40:44,980
Yes. That is really critical.

1253
00:40:44,980 --> 00:40:45,250
You know,

1254
00:40:45,250 --> 00:40:48,790
because some people will look at others,

1255
00:40:48,850 --> 00:40:49,630
six us,

1256
00:40:49,660 --> 00:40:50,650
they'll see how they spend money.

1257
00:40:50,650 --> 00:40:51,850
We've talked about this and they'll,

1258
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:52,570
I've done it.

1259
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,250
They'll label it as excessive.

1260
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,460
Like that's excessive when there are people starving in the world

1261
00:40:57,460 --> 00:40:59,380
and stroke it's total judgment.

1262
00:40:59,770 --> 00:41:03,700
And the crazy thing is you don't want people judging you,

1263
00:41:03,940 --> 00:41:05,080
but we judge others,

1264
00:41:05,350 --> 00:41:12,220
but we're all judgy It's Because people are human where we're

1265
00:41:12,340 --> 00:41:13,780
meaning making machines.

1266
00:41:13,810 --> 00:41:14,500
That's what we are,

1267
00:41:14,620 --> 00:41:15,880
meaning making machines.

1268
00:41:15,910 --> 00:41:18,070
And so we have to judge in order to make sense

1269
00:41:18,070 --> 00:41:18,400
of things.

1270
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:18,790
And we're like,

1271
00:41:18,820 --> 00:41:19,870
oh, they spent that money on that.

1272
00:41:19,870 --> 00:41:21,550
Like I talked about in the previous episode,

1273
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:23,680
the show I was watching where they spent all the money

1274
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:25,210
on the beach house and the rock,

1275
00:41:25,210 --> 00:41:26,310
that was 170,000.

1276
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:27,490
Yeah. And it was like,

1277
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,640
that's so excessive people are struggling in the world.

1278
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,140
Why is that guy buying a rock for that amount of

1279
00:41:33,140 --> 00:41:34,190
money? But it's just,

1280
00:41:34,850 --> 00:41:38,780
how do I know that he's not also donating money to

1281
00:41:38,930 --> 00:41:41,780
really amazing causes and it's none of my business anyway.

1282
00:41:42,170 --> 00:41:44,120
Yeah. Because I wouldn't want him judging me.

1283
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,100
And I think you can start to rephrase that.

1284
00:41:46,100 --> 00:41:48,770
If you're feeling guilty is you can follow kind of where

1285
00:41:48,770 --> 00:41:50,270
the money you're spending is going.

1286
00:41:50,390 --> 00:41:53,630
Like it's still helping someone or,

1287
00:41:53,630 --> 00:41:54,020
you know,

1288
00:41:54,020 --> 00:41:56,870
find businesses that have a social cause attached to it.

1289
00:41:56,870 --> 00:41:57,440
Like there's,

1290
00:41:57,770 --> 00:42:02,120
there's definitely ways that you can start to look into that

1291
00:42:02,870 --> 00:42:03,260
for sure.

1292
00:42:03,260 --> 00:42:04,130
But that is,

1293
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,030
that is a big one and yeah.

1294
00:42:08,270 --> 00:42:13,040
And I think a lot of it stems from judgment because

1295
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,700
yeah, it's what you're worried that someone is going to think,

1296
00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:18,140
which we talked about in the last money.

1297
00:42:18,140 --> 00:42:19,070
One about,

1298
00:42:19,070 --> 00:42:19,850
I was worried,

1299
00:42:19,850 --> 00:42:23,240
but people would think if I ever paid for a business

1300
00:42:23,240 --> 00:42:24,470
class seat right.

1301
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:26,360
Or being on a boat,

1302
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,560
what if they think it's my boat?

1303
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:29,390
And I think I spent all this money on this boat

1304
00:42:29,580 --> 00:42:32,840
and what will they think about me and their children starving.

1305
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:33,590
And you just,

1306
00:42:33,590 --> 00:42:38,210
all of these stories wrapped up into probably came from childhood.

1307
00:42:38,300 --> 00:42:38,990
You know,

1308
00:42:39,020 --> 00:42:40,220
if you left something on your plate,

1309
00:42:40,220 --> 00:42:43,070
your parents would yell at you about the kids starving In

1310
00:42:43,070 --> 00:42:44,570
Africa, in Africa,

1311
00:42:45,050 --> 00:42:46,010
Their kids in Africa,

1312
00:42:46,010 --> 00:42:47,330
you better eat your green beans.

1313
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:48,230
Like it's not fair.

1314
00:42:48,260 --> 00:42:51,590
You know that there's this like that we are in charge

1315
00:42:51,590 --> 00:42:54,980
of some sense of fairness and equality in the world that

1316
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,830
is out of our control really right within our sphere of

1317
00:42:57,830 --> 00:43:00,950
influence. Obviously you need to be discerning and how you spend

1318
00:43:00,950 --> 00:43:01,280
your money,

1319
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:02,870
that, that fits with your values,

1320
00:43:02,990 --> 00:43:03,920
right. What's important to you.

1321
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:04,840
And if you have a,

1322
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:08,060
a something that you love or feel called to support,

1323
00:43:08,090 --> 00:43:09,740
then 100% support it,

1324
00:43:09,950 --> 00:43:11,330
support it To afford it.

1325
00:43:11,510 --> 00:43:13,130
But That doesn't mean you have to suffer,

1326
00:43:13,550 --> 00:43:18,500
Right. Just because other people are struggling does not necessarily mean

1327
00:43:18,500 --> 00:43:19,550
that you have to struggle.

1328
00:43:19,580 --> 00:43:20,240
I actually,

1329
00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:22,550
I heard and I can't remember where I heard it and

1330
00:43:22,550 --> 00:43:23,930
I'm probably going to mess it up.

1331
00:43:24,380 --> 00:43:26,150
But it was something about like,

1332
00:43:26,150 --> 00:43:30,170
we have this picture of like mother Theresa was like the

1333
00:43:30,170 --> 00:43:31,670
most philanthropic,

1334
00:43:32,030 --> 00:43:33,230
amazing person.

1335
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:37,340
And I'm not discounting that like you got,

1336
00:43:37,340 --> 00:43:38,060
of course she was,

1337
00:43:38,630 --> 00:43:43,490
but she couldn't have done what she did without the giant

1338
00:43:43,700 --> 00:43:46,070
financing of the Catholic church behind her.

1339
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:50,090
So it wasn't just her going out there.

1340
00:43:50,300 --> 00:43:52,370
So the more money you make,

1341
00:43:52,730 --> 00:43:56,750
the more impact you can actually have for the causes that

1342
00:43:56,750 --> 00:44:00,560
you want to support because you can't really help people.

1343
00:44:00,620 --> 00:44:02,840
If you can't take care of yourself.

1344
00:44:03,230 --> 00:44:07,850
So I had a boat I used this last week in

1345
00:44:07,850 --> 00:44:08,750
the money training.

1346
00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:09,500
I said,

1347
00:44:09,530 --> 00:44:11,300
even mother Teresa said,

1348
00:44:11,420 --> 00:44:13,460
it takes a checkbook to change the world.

1349
00:44:13,490 --> 00:44:17,630
She is quoted as saying that takes a checkbook to change

1350
00:44:17,630 --> 00:44:18,140
the world.

1351
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:19,670
So you are spot on.

1352
00:44:19,820 --> 00:44:23,660
She had the backing of the Catholic church and that was

1353
00:44:23,660 --> 00:44:24,740
a lot of money.

1354
00:44:24,740 --> 00:44:25,220
So she,

1355
00:44:25,220 --> 00:44:27,370
it wasn't that she was like this poor dusty.

1356
00:44:27,740 --> 00:44:27,920
I mean,

1357
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:29,270
she gave up her life to serve.

1358
00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:30,080
That's what she did,

1359
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:31,950
but she had the backing.

1360
00:44:32,070 --> 00:44:34,350
So more money equals more impact.

1361
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:37,020
So just because somebody else is struggling,

1362
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:37,950
instead of saying,

1363
00:44:37,950 --> 00:44:38,940
somebody else is struggling.

1364
00:44:38,940 --> 00:44:40,200
So I should struggle too.

1365
00:44:40,290 --> 00:44:41,850
Couldn't you say someone else's struggling.

1366
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,040
So I need to make more money so that I can

1367
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:45,330
help the person who's struggling.

1368
00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:46,560
Right. Right.

1369
00:44:46,950 --> 00:44:47,100
I mean,

1370
00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:47,430
is this,

1371
00:44:47,820 --> 00:44:48,660
it's the same coin.

1372
00:44:48,660 --> 00:44:49,470
We've just flipped it.

1373
00:44:50,790 --> 00:44:51,840
That's classic rephrase.

1374
00:44:52,860 --> 00:44:54,990
And, and you are still allowed to buy the purse or

1375
00:44:54,990 --> 00:44:55,980
the vacation if you want.

1376
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:58,830
Right. Because the healthier,

1377
00:44:58,830 --> 00:44:59,970
happier you are,

1378
00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:01,680
the more impact you can have.

1379
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,110
Okay. The last one I have,

1380
00:45:04,350 --> 00:45:05,010
oh, this goes,

1381
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:05,790
well, wait two,

1382
00:45:05,790 --> 00:45:06,870
actually I had one.

1383
00:45:06,870 --> 00:45:07,410
I wrote,

1384
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,240
I feel guilty that I have so much in others.

1385
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:10,380
Don't, that's the same thing.

1386
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:11,940
But this one,

1387
00:45:12,240 --> 00:45:14,160
I struggled to stay positive about money.

1388
00:45:14,340 --> 00:45:17,520
If you are really in a negative place about money,

1389
00:45:17,790 --> 00:45:20,220
you are sabotaging your income hands down.

1390
00:45:20,220 --> 00:45:22,320
No question is straightforward.

1391
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:22,950
As it comes.

1392
00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:26,430
I know that's,

1393
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:27,450
you know,

1394
00:45:27,630 --> 00:45:30,120
easier said than done to flip that script to say,

1395
00:45:30,150 --> 00:45:32,550
well, let's have a positive outlook on money,

1396
00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:34,980
but when you can't pay your bills or things are really,

1397
00:45:35,010 --> 00:45:35,830
really difficult.

1398
00:45:35,850 --> 00:45:36,990
I understand that.

1399
00:45:36,990 --> 00:45:38,760
That can be very,

1400
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:39,600
very hard.

1401
00:45:39,660 --> 00:45:43,830
So this just takes rewriting the script and then working to

1402
00:45:43,830 --> 00:45:46,110
have a more positive outlook on money.

1403
00:45:46,110 --> 00:45:46,890
Like more money,

1404
00:45:46,890 --> 00:45:47,670
more impact,

1405
00:45:47,670 --> 00:45:48,690
and money is good.

1406
00:45:48,690 --> 00:45:50,820
And what limiting beliefs do I need to look at in

1407
00:45:50,820 --> 00:45:54,540
childhood that were ingrained from my parents about money being bad

1408
00:45:54,540 --> 00:45:57,060
or a struggle or hard to come by.

1409
00:45:57,090 --> 00:45:58,200
This is like,

1410
00:45:58,290 --> 00:45:59,790
I think the culmination,

1411
00:45:59,790 --> 00:46:02,610
the statement is the culmination of all of these beliefs.

1412
00:46:02,790 --> 00:46:05,700
All these ways that we sabotage ourselves is that because of

1413
00:46:05,700 --> 00:46:06,210
these things,

1414
00:46:06,210 --> 00:46:08,640
we have a negative mindset about money.

1415
00:46:08,670 --> 00:46:10,680
So I don't think it's a simple saying,

1416
00:46:10,740 --> 00:46:12,420
oh, have a positive mindset about money.

1417
00:46:12,660 --> 00:46:17,040
I think it's you tackle all of these other things that

1418
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,710
then compound into,

1419
00:46:19,770 --> 00:46:21,150
I have a better,

1420
00:46:21,150 --> 00:46:23,100
a more healthy belief system around money.

1421
00:46:24,030 --> 00:46:25,620
Yeah. Done,

1422
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,340
done. Wrap it up a hundred percent.

1423
00:46:30,140 --> 00:46:30,870
Have to do the work.

1424
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:32,490
Yeah. So,

1425
00:46:32,730 --> 00:46:33,000
you know,

1426
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,760
you guys start to just kind of look at these different

1427
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,890
things. I hope you were kind of like listening.

1428
00:46:37,890 --> 00:46:40,050
And if there were any of these struck a chord to

1429
00:46:40,050 --> 00:46:41,250
you while we were going through,

1430
00:46:41,460 --> 00:46:42,150
I have a couple more,

1431
00:46:42,150 --> 00:46:43,830
I just want to read off real fast,

1432
00:46:45,450 --> 00:46:48,030
but I think a really common that you might identify with

1433
00:46:48,030 --> 00:46:48,480
some of them.

1434
00:46:48,900 --> 00:46:50,610
I think my emails bother people.

1435
00:46:51,090 --> 00:46:53,790
I hide away and not be visible in my community.

1436
00:46:54,450 --> 00:46:55,200
I get annoyed.

1437
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,570
When someone takes action on something I've wanted to do for

1438
00:46:57,570 --> 00:46:58,200
a long time,

1439
00:46:59,070 --> 00:47:00,780
I charge low rates for my industry.

1440
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,240
I complain about my competitors' pricing.

1441
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,760
I give away a lot of time for free.

1442
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:07,050
Here's a big one.

1443
00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:11,190
I let other people's opinions sway my business decisions.

1444
00:47:11,190 --> 00:47:13,320
Whether they're qualified or not.

1445
00:47:14,310 --> 00:47:15,570
Hello, family.

1446
00:47:15,590 --> 00:47:16,050
Say no,

1447
00:47:16,050 --> 00:47:17,880
one's going to charge or pay that ever.

1448
00:47:19,050 --> 00:47:21,180
How often do we hear that from people?

1449
00:47:21,240 --> 00:47:21,780
Oh my Gosh.

1450
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,810
Always coming an easy way to reframe that,

1451
00:47:25,230 --> 00:47:27,240
I think is again,

1452
00:47:27,330 --> 00:47:30,040
that's just the conscious brain,

1453
00:47:30,070 --> 00:47:31,840
the ego of your family,

1454
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:35,950
trying to protect you because they don't want you to get

1455
00:47:35,950 --> 00:47:36,820
all your hopes up,

1456
00:47:36,850 --> 00:47:39,250
put all this time and effort into something that they don't

1457
00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:40,210
think is going to work.

1458
00:47:40,210 --> 00:47:43,480
So they're trying to keep you safe because they just don't

1459
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:44,500
know. I mean,

1460
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,500
unless they've run a photography business,

1461
00:47:47,530 --> 00:47:49,330
they don't know what's involved.

1462
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:52,150
Heck, when I started running my photography business,

1463
00:47:52,180 --> 00:47:53,650
I didn't know what was involved.

1464
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:57,610
It's like charge $175 for a session with all the images

1465
00:47:57,610 --> 00:47:59,110
on a disc man,

1466
00:47:59,260 --> 00:48:01,870
make rich.

1467
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:06,850
I would say family members,

1468
00:48:07,150 --> 00:48:08,230
I would say,

1469
00:48:08,500 --> 00:48:09,070
thank you.

1470
00:48:09,190 --> 00:48:10,060
Thank you for your input.

1471
00:48:10,060 --> 00:48:10,900
I know that you love me.

1472
00:48:10,900 --> 00:48:12,010
And you're trying to protect me.

1473
00:48:12,460 --> 00:48:15,160
When is the last time you started a pet photography business,

1474
00:48:15,580 --> 00:48:17,890
right? They have No clue.

1475
00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:20,980
So why are you letting them speak into your life?

1476
00:48:21,070 --> 00:48:22,180
They have no clue.

1477
00:48:22,210 --> 00:48:23,290
They have not done it.

1478
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:26,050
They don't know how do you know that?

1479
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:27,370
Oh, I fight back.

1480
00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:30,430
That's like put me in the ring because if somebody says,

1481
00:48:30,940 --> 00:48:32,830
yeah, totally because you have,

1482
00:48:33,340 --> 00:48:37,810
but the thing is people who are not as secure or

1483
00:48:37,810 --> 00:48:41,110
confident in what they're doing to skip pulled over by those

1484
00:48:41,110 --> 00:48:42,670
people. And it's,

1485
00:48:42,750 --> 00:48:44,530
it's maddening to me.

1486
00:48:44,770 --> 00:48:46,000
I always say like,

1487
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:46,390
let me talk,

1488
00:48:46,430 --> 00:48:47,470
let me talk to your parents.

1489
00:48:47,890 --> 00:48:48,190
Let me,

1490
00:48:48,340 --> 00:48:50,710
let me talk to your husband or your partner.

1491
00:48:50,710 --> 00:48:51,130
Let me,

1492
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:54,280
let me add them because I would love to know what

1493
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:56,020
qualifies them to say,

1494
00:48:56,050 --> 00:48:56,860
oh my gosh,

1495
00:48:56,890 --> 00:48:59,230
the amount of women who have told me,

1496
00:48:59,470 --> 00:49:01,480
oh, my husband just doesn't think anybody's going to pay for

1497
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:07,870
that photography and the target market and the business.

1498
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:09,370
Certainly. Okay,

1499
00:49:09,370 --> 00:49:11,110
fine. You're entitled to your opinion,

1500
00:49:11,170 --> 00:49:14,590
but you're making that crap up and you're harming someone in

1501
00:49:14,590 --> 00:49:15,340
the process.

1502
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:18,220
And I just do not have space for that in my

1503
00:49:18,220 --> 00:49:20,530
life To add on a service,

1504
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:23,950
it's going to be send your spouse to Heather service.

1505
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:26,050
You know,

1506
00:49:26,110 --> 00:49:26,740
we laugh,

1507
00:49:26,890 --> 00:49:30,730
but I have had a couple of people ask me if

1508
00:49:30,730 --> 00:49:32,020
I would speak to their husbands.

1509
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:35,200
Like, would you do a coaching session with my husband?

1510
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:36,760
The answer is usually no,

1511
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,320
because I think that crosses a line,

1512
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:42,790
but certainly we can talk about something and let's record it

1513
00:49:42,790 --> 00:49:44,140
and you can play it back for him.

1514
00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:44,500
You know,

1515
00:49:44,530 --> 00:49:45,790
let's have a conversation.

1516
00:49:46,330 --> 00:49:47,650
I'm happy to do that,

1517
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:51,310
but I want to arm them with confidence.

1518
00:49:52,150 --> 00:49:56,230
I want to arm them with information and data and comebacks

1519
00:49:56,320 --> 00:50:00,310
and replies and how to manage someone who is trying to

1520
00:50:00,310 --> 00:50:01,270
stomp on your dream.

1521
00:50:01,300 --> 00:50:02,050
Like, okay,

1522
00:50:02,050 --> 00:50:02,470
first of all,

1523
00:50:02,470 --> 00:50:04,450
you know nothing about photography of the market.

1524
00:50:04,750 --> 00:50:06,400
And you're trying to stomp on my dream.

1525
00:50:06,490 --> 00:50:07,570
Like, and you love me.

1526
00:50:08,290 --> 00:50:09,040
Like, okay,

1527
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:12,130
you might not understand my dream and that's fair,

1528
00:50:12,670 --> 00:50:13,090
but could,

1529
00:50:13,150 --> 00:50:14,230
well, what about,

1530
00:50:14,230 --> 00:50:15,520
how about some encouragement here?

1531
00:50:15,550 --> 00:50:16,060
How about I,

1532
00:50:16,270 --> 00:50:16,630
you know,

1533
00:50:16,750 --> 00:50:17,500
I actually,

1534
00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:19,450
if I need encouragement for my husband,

1535
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,690
I will start the conversation with I'm about to share something

1536
00:50:22,690 --> 00:50:24,700
with you that might be challenging.

1537
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:26,410
And what I'm looking for is encouragement.

1538
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:29,300
I'm not looking for you to beat it down or tear

1539
00:50:29,300 --> 00:50:29,990
holes in it.

1540
00:50:30,980 --> 00:50:33,050
I'm looking for encouragement and I need to talk to you

1541
00:50:33,050 --> 00:50:33,590
about this.

1542
00:50:33,650 --> 00:50:34,490
So maybe you,

1543
00:50:34,580 --> 00:50:34,970
you know,

1544
00:50:35,420 --> 00:50:36,290
just, I don't know,

1545
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,590
boundaries. I wouldn't let my family speak that into my life

1546
00:50:39,620 --> 00:50:43,040
because of their limiting beliefs or their views on what's possible.

1547
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:44,240
I honestly don't know.

1548
00:50:44,240 --> 00:50:44,510
I mean,

1549
00:50:44,510 --> 00:50:47,480
how many clients contact us and have no idea what photography

1550
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,430
costs, because you do see all these,

1551
00:50:49,610 --> 00:50:50,120
you know,

1552
00:50:50,210 --> 00:50:52,400
pricing all over the board.

1553
00:50:52,790 --> 00:50:54,230
So people just don't understand,

1554
00:50:54,230 --> 00:50:57,800
or maybe they grew up going to like Sears and getting

1555
00:50:57,830 --> 00:50:59,120
a photo sheet.

1556
00:51:00,350 --> 00:51:02,720
So that's what they expect photography is.

1557
00:51:03,410 --> 00:51:05,570
Yeah. They just have very limited experience.

1558
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,330
Right. So I like to ask people to tell me about

1559
00:51:08,330 --> 00:51:12,350
the businesses they've started The photography businesses specifically,

1560
00:51:13,130 --> 00:51:15,080
Specifically, because you have no clue.

1561
00:51:15,260 --> 00:51:17,000
Yeah. Well that gets me fired up.

1562
00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:19,040
I love it.

1563
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:19,580
I love it.

1564
00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:20,360
All right.

1565
00:51:20,630 --> 00:51:22,670
This has been fantastic.

1566
00:51:22,820 --> 00:51:23,510
Again, you guys,

1567
00:51:23,510 --> 00:51:25,640
if you want to hear more of our money conversations,

1568
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,070
go to hair of the dog academy.com/money.

1569
00:51:28,730 --> 00:51:32,060
Heather, they could find you around the hair of the dog,

1570
00:51:32,090 --> 00:51:35,210
HQ and elevate here on the podcast.

1571
00:51:35,210 --> 00:51:38,540
The where else we'll find you Everywhere with hair,

1572
00:51:38,540 --> 00:51:39,050
the dog,

1573
00:51:39,050 --> 00:51:39,620
of course,

1574
00:51:39,620 --> 00:51:41,480
but also with the flourish academy,

1575
00:51:41,510 --> 00:51:42,890
you can just search online.

1576
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,410
I would love if you listen to the flourish academy podcast

1577
00:51:45,410 --> 00:51:46,190
and share it with your friends,

1578
00:51:46,190 --> 00:51:46,970
that would be amazing.

1579
00:51:47,180 --> 00:51:50,330
I also have a YouTube channel where I do a variety

1580
00:51:50,330 --> 00:51:51,350
of different types of videos.

1581
00:51:51,350 --> 00:51:52,100
I do live videos.

1582
00:51:52,100 --> 00:51:53,000
I do screencasts.

1583
00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:55,160
So just look for a flourish academy and you'll find me

1584
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:55,910
she's around.

1585
00:51:58,280 --> 00:51:58,610
All right,

1586
00:51:58,610 --> 00:52:01,190
everybody. Thanks for hanging out with us again.

1587
00:52:01,220 --> 00:52:04,340
And we will be back another week.

1588
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:05,780
Spoiler alert,

1589
00:52:05,780 --> 00:52:06,410
by the way,

1590
00:52:07,100 --> 00:52:14,630
prepare yourself for some major new year planning coming up with

1591
00:52:14,630 --> 00:52:15,440
me and Heather,

1592
00:52:15,770 --> 00:52:18,290
because I mean,

1593
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:22,070
new years might be my most favorite time of year.

1594
00:52:22,580 --> 00:52:23,870
Say Brace yourself,

1595
00:52:23,900 --> 00:52:25,610
Christmas, new year's all goes into one.

1596
00:52:25,970 --> 00:52:28,520
Yeah. And it's going to be great by far the best.

1597
00:52:28,790 --> 00:52:30,260
Although I do love summer,

1598
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:33,080
if you can move new years into summer,

1599
00:52:33,140 --> 00:52:33,650
although no,

1600
00:52:33,890 --> 00:52:34,550
no, no,

1601
00:52:34,550 --> 00:52:38,900
actually let's not do that because then I would feel guilty

1602
00:52:38,900 --> 00:52:39,980
about enjoying that boat.

1603
00:52:40,010 --> 00:52:41,060
Ooh, see,

1604
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:44,330
wow. Like January when the weather is like,

1605
00:52:45,680 --> 00:52:45,950
I mean,

1606
00:52:45,950 --> 00:52:47,360
it's much better now that I've observed,

1607
00:52:48,290 --> 00:52:53,120
sorry, then you can like just buckle down and get stuff

1608
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,910
done. And like January is my most favorite month as is,

1609
00:52:55,910 --> 00:52:57,260
Monday is my favorite day of the week.

1610
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:57,980
That's interesting.

1611
00:52:57,980 --> 00:52:58,670
I'm the same.

1612
00:52:58,670 --> 00:53:01,550
And I think maybe it's about new beginnings or starting something.

1613
00:53:01,550 --> 00:53:03,920
It's just very exciting to get back into the swing of

1614
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:05,840
things, to take a look at your previous year.

1615
00:53:05,990 --> 00:53:06,800
What's up coming.

1616
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:09,230
It's exciting to me because well,

1617
00:53:09,500 --> 00:53:12,860
listen, core belief for me is that the best is in

1618
00:53:12,860 --> 00:53:13,490
front of me.

1619
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:15,320
The best is yet to come.

1620
00:53:15,380 --> 00:53:18,530
So that's very exciting when you think things are only going

1621
00:53:18,530 --> 00:53:19,640
to get better and more amazing.

1622
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:20,210
That doesn't mean there.

1623
00:53:20,210 --> 00:53:21,110
Aren't going to be struggles,

1624
00:53:21,140 --> 00:53:24,620
but there's so much excitement for me to think about like,

1625
00:53:24,650 --> 00:53:25,620
oh, what's Next?

1626
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:27,660
It's Always getting better.

1627
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:30,240
It's like the stock market goes up and down and up

1628
00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:30,660
and down.

1629
00:53:30,660 --> 00:53:32,730
There's always a little correction here and there,

1630
00:53:32,730 --> 00:53:33,810
but you end up,

1631
00:53:33,870 --> 00:53:34,680
you end up up.

1632
00:53:36,030 --> 00:53:36,450
All right.

1633
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:36,960
All right,

1634
00:53:36,960 --> 00:53:37,920
everybody. So yeah,

1635
00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:41,580
we'll be back with that and have a great holiday season.

1636
00:53:41,580 --> 00:53:43,740
Everybody. We will talk to you soon.

1637
00:53:44,940 --> 00:53:47,130
If you enjoy this podcast episode,

1638
00:53:47,130 --> 00:53:50,520
go ahead and take a screenshot of this episode on your

1639
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,970
phone and posted up there on your Instagram stories and be

1640
00:53:53,970 --> 00:53:57,300
sure to tag us at hair of the dog academy.

1641
00:53:57,420 --> 00:54:00,960
And we would just love to see how you're listening and

1642
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:02,100
a full disclosure.

1643
00:54:02,220 --> 00:54:05,640
Sometimes we just like to give away a little pet photographer,

1644
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:09,480
swag in the form of hair of the dog t-shirts and

1645
00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:12,060
sweatshirts. So what are you waiting for?

1646
00:54:12,090 --> 00:54:15,210
Go ahead and share that screenshot of this episode.

1647
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:17,310
And don't forget to tag us at Hare,

1648
00:54:17,310 --> 00:54:18,150
the dog academy.

1649
00:54:18,390 --> 00:54:19,380
And while you're there,

1650
00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:21,690
maybe you want to jump on over to our account and

1651
00:54:21,690 --> 00:54:24,660
see what we're up to on the gram would love to

1652
00:54:24,660 --> 00:54:25,470
connect with you.

1653
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:28,260
Thanks for listening to the hair of the dog podcast.

1654
00:54:28,410 --> 00:54:30,510
This was episode number one 17.

1655
00:54:30,750 --> 00:54:32,700
If you want to check out the show notes for access

1656
00:54:32,700 --> 00:54:34,590
to any of the resources that we mentioned,

1657
00:54:34,860 --> 00:54:39,930
simply go to www.hairofthedogacademy.com/

1658
00:54:39,930 --> 00:54:42,870
1 1 7.

1659
00:54:42,870 --> 00:54:46,620
Thanks for listening to this episode of hair of the dog

1660
00:54:46,620 --> 00:54:48,300
podcast. If you enjoyed this show,

1661
00:54:48,300 --> 00:54:49,590
please take a minute to leave a review.

1662
00:54:49,770 --> 00:54:50,670
And while you're there,

1663
00:54:50,820 --> 00:54:52,170
don't forget to subscribe.

1664
00:54:52,230 --> 00:54:55,680
So you don't miss our upcoming episodes on last thing,

1665
00:54:56,100 --> 00:54:58,740
if you are ready to dive into more resources,

1666
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:04,410
head over to our [email protected].

1667
00:55:04,740 --> 00:55:07,950
Thanks for being a part of this pet photography community.

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