Speaker 1: 0:00 

Hey, pet photographers. Are you struggling to bring your vision to life? Do you long for creating a style that is true to you? Are you ready to leave the fads and trends behind and learn how to create a style that is uniquely yours so that your work can stand apart here at hair of the dog, we are hosting a free five day unleash your style challenge to help you do just that registration is open now. So go to www.hairofthedogacademy.com forward slash unleash to save your seat. We can't wait to see what you create. Welcome to the hair of the dog podcast. I'm Nicole Begley. And today we are talking about squashing imposter syndrome with my special guest, Heather Lahtinen. Stay tuned.

Speaker 2: 0:50 

Welcome to the hair of the dog podcast. If you're a pet photographer, ready to make more money and start living a life by your design, you've come to the right place. And now, your host, pet photographer, travel addict, chocolate martini connoisseur, Nicole Begley.

Speaker 1: 1:09 

Hey, everybody, Nicole here from hair of the dog. And today I have one of my very best friends back for her, not first, not second but third podcast interview. And I know you guys are gonna like it because our number episode number four is actually one of the most downloaded episodes of the podcast, which is gaining confidence. And I am here with my friend, Heather Lahtinen. So hi, Heather, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me, Nicole. I love working through these issues with you and helping other photographers. Oh yeah, absolutely. And I'm the hair of the dog community loves when you help them. So yeah, this is actually going to be a really good episode to piggyback on episode four. So if you guys are new to the podcast and haven't listened to gaining confidence, episode four, definitely go back and check that out. We also have episode 18, which is about moving forward when it seems to be like the sky is falling, which is really the theme of 2020. So that's helpful too. But the gaining confidence, I feel like is going to be directly correlated to what we are talking about today, which is all about imposter syndrome done, done, right? And we've noticed this, Nicole and I have noticed this a lot lately with photographers that we work with. In fact, the reason this is coming up, Nicole is because last week I conducted several lifelines inside of the hair of the dog elevate group, where this came up as a topic. And you want to explain, actually, I don't know if you've talked about what a lifeline is. Oh yeah, absolutely. Actually, let's back up for a second. For those of you guys that aren't familiar with elevate, you may know that at Herot the dog, we have, you know, this podcast and we have a whole bunch of free resources on hair of the dog academy.com. We also the hair of the dog Academy, which is a membership that has, Oh my gosh, so much content support. We have critiques and office hours and courses and Facebook groups and templates and just so much stuff. So that's the membership. But then for those that are really committed to just building a business that is profitable and serves their life, a business that they really just love. We have our group coaching program called elevate, which we have, Oh my goodness. Now five coaches, two consultants. So there's seven of us helping photographers, basically kick some butt in the photography world inside of elevate. And Heather's one of our coaches there. Yeah. Inside elevate, we also have lifelines. So everybody gets two lifelines. So it's when you just like need an extra 15 minutes of, or 20 minutes of just one-to-one with a particular coach, you can sign up for that. And Heather, you are definitely one of the most popular. I like when people always say, I need to go get a little bit of a butt kicking from Heather. I usually sign up for your one-to-one, uh, elevate lifestyle.

Speaker 3: 4:02 

Last week, someone had posted that they have this love, fear relationship with me that they're excited to jump on these lifelines, but they have this fear because occasionally there are tears, but let me tell you something with those tears come amazing breakthroughs. And I think that's why people enjoy it because in 15 minutes we're able to cut right through all of the issues and the limiting beliefs. And I mean, spoiler alert, it is rarely about your photographs or how you are editing said photograph

Speaker 1: 4:34 

No, a hundred percent. Yeah. Um, I would actually go so far as to say our photographs have very little to do with anything about our business.

Speaker 3: 4:41 

Yeah, for sure. And you know, it's funny along these same lines is I also teach in person at our local college. And when I begin this class, I always ask everyone, Hey, how many people in the room are photographers? And almost no one raises their hand. And I said, okay, let me rephrase the question. How many of you have cameras? Well, of course, everyone in the class raises their hand. And then I ask and you take photos with those cameras, correct? They say, yes. Okay. Well then you're all photographers. You are a photographer, but we tend to assign a meaning of what it is. If you are a quote, real photographer or a professional photographer. And it's kind of where this imposter syndrome comes in.

Speaker 1: 5:24 

Yes. A hundred percent. Yeah. I actually can think of in the past maybe where, where I struggled with imposter syndrome when I was starting, I mean, there's lots of things. I remember first when I started doing sessions, I would like run through the sessions, like constantly shooting because if I stopped shooting, surely my clients would see that I had no idea what I was doing. I also remember being just really, really nervous about entering the IPC, which international print competition from PPA. Gosh, this was six years ago. Maybe it was the first time I entered. When you look at all the work in there and all the things that merit and loan, and you're like, Oh, none of my work doesn't really look like that. No chance I don't belong here. I'm not good enough to do this. Um, but I was encouraged to enter anyway and turns out that, all of that nonsense. And it's just in my head because I actually ended up having one merit and three loans that year and getting platinum photographer of the year, which is a feat I have been unable to do again. That's the wow. But it was, I mean, it just, if there was anything that solidified the fact that I was making up all these stories in my head about not being able to do this about who do I think I am, what's going on here? I mean, it was certainly that I was like, okay, all right. I guess, I guess I am.

Speaker 3: 6:43 

Well, listen, I have a question for you around that. So you were experiencing some imposter syndrome, you did it anyway. It worked out when you were awarded those merits, did you then did you believe them and feel like, Oh, okay. I actually fit in here or I belong. No.

Speaker 1: 7:03 

Still becomes like, Oh, well that was a lucky break. You know? It, it, it just takes time. At least for me, I don't even know what exactly changed, which I know we're going to talk about what we can do to change. But I thinking back, I don't remember what exactly like if there was a particular point where all of a sudden I felt, Oh, like, this is, this is, I can do this. Or, you know, if it was a more gradual change,

Speaker 3: 7:25 

It probably was gradual. It takes time to work through these issues. But our goal today is to help you identify and work through these issues faster. So let me share with you the actual definition of imposter syndrome. And it was coined actually in the late seventies by doctor Pauline Clance and dr. Suzanne IMEs. And they said that imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments or talents, and has a persistent, internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve all. They have achieved. These individuals incorrectly attribute their success to luck or interpret it as a result of deceiving others into thinking that they are more intelligent than they perceive themselves to be. While early research focused on the prevalence among high achieving women, imposter syndrome has been recognized to affect both men and women. Equally side note, I've noticed in my coaching, mentoring and teaching,

Speaker 1: 8:37 

Sorry, Zoe says here's a side, good thing. This is a pet photography. A plus.

Speaker 3: 8:43 

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 8:46 

Becca, we go, you've noticed in your coaching.

Speaker 3: 8:48 

Okay. I've noticed in my coaching that this does seem to affect high achieving women more. It does men. That's just been my experience. There are a couple of key things I want to point out here. Number one is you, in fact, yourself said, you just felt like you were lucky. And that's actually part of the definition that it, people that have imposter syndrome incorrectly attribute their success to luck. But also you may have noticed in this definition twice was the use of the word fraud. And now it's important to understand the actual definition of fraud is deceit trickery, sharp practice, or breach of confidence perpetuated for profit or to gain some unfair or dishonest advantage. Yes. So when a photographers says to me, I feel like a fraud. I say, Oh, really? You're trying to steal from people this, honestly, how, how are you exactly fraudulent in your business? Okay. It's silly. You're not, no one listening to this. I can almost guarantee you no one listening to this is a fraud. No one is trying to gain profit by deceiving someone else by being dishonest. Therefore, if you're not doing that, then you're not a fraud, which means you're also not an imposter, right?

Speaker 1: 10:06 

Yeah, no, a hundred percent. I love that because it really does. You feel that way and you think I am a fraud and it does feel like it is this big, bad, ugly thing that you're trying to hide from the world. But yeah, like we just assign so much more meaning to it than it actually means because there is no ill intention behind there. And I think actually some of that fear, most likely comes from the fact that we have really good intentions and we want to do really well for our clients and create beautiful images. So it's more of the pressure of us wanting to serve them. That makes us fear that we can't, hence we must be a fraud. That's exactly right. And in fact, it's

Speaker 3: 10:49 

The opposite of what you would think it would be the people who fear that they have imposter syndrome, never have it, never the people who are actually out there to seeming people fraudulently do not consider themselves imposters. They don't have

Speaker 1: 11:03 

Problem on purpose.

Speaker 3: 11:06 

So if you feel fraudulent or like you're, you have imposter syndrome, the very nature of that thought tells me that you do not. You're not that person

Speaker 1: 11:15 

A hundred percent. Have you ever had, um, some bouts of imposter syndrome?

Speaker 3: 11:20 

Oh my gosh. So many times in my life, in my professional career in corporate, as well as my photography business, for sure. I probably have a million stories, but one that stands out to me is just a few years into my career. As a professional wedding photographer, HP contacted me, you know, a little printing company in Atlanta, Hewlett Packard contacted me and asked me to speak for their big yearly conference. And I knew someone who knew someone, that's how I got the connection. And I thought to myself, I didn't say this, of course, but in my mind, I thought, who am I? Right? Why, why me? I am this small town wedding photographer in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which is not exactly known as a Mecca for wedding photographers. Why would they ask me? But they did. And I said, yes. So the funny thing about me is I say yes for most things before I'm prepared, because I think I'll just figure it out. Okay. I absolutely felt like an imposter, but I wanted to do it anyway. They asked me I wanted to do it and I will never forget walking onto that stage. And it was huge. The stage was massive. There were monitors everywhere. They might me up. And they told me, or asked me to speak slowly because I was being translated into four different languages. And it was very humbling. And I'm thinking, Oh my gosh, okay, what is happening here? But I knew I had something to share. I was just sharing the story of my business and I wanted to help them. That was my heart. My heart was, I wanted to add value and I did. And it went really well. And they continued to ask me back. So I spoke for them for a few years and I would still periodically have these moments of insecurity, you know, lack of confidence. Like maybe I'm not the best at this, or am I inadequate? You know, feelings of doubt. But the difference Nicole is I did it anyway. You can have those feelings and it's okay. I would acknowledge them, recognize them, but I wouldn't let it stop me from moving forward. That's the problem here.

Speaker 1: 13:15 

Yeah. Yeah. I'm wondering how many photographers are out there that may be started on a journey to wanting to start a business or wanting to grow their business. And then they run up against this and they basically let this fake fraudulent thought win and they believe it. And they're like, okay, nevermind. I'm not going out for this. I'm not cut out for this because I have these thoughts. Therefore, I must not be cut out for this, but they don't realize that pretty much all of us have those thoughts. And you know, it still happens every once in a while. I'm even thinking for me, sometimes maybe you have a session and you come home and you look at your images and you're like, Oh, it was not my best work. And you're looking at it. You're like, ah, this is not the best work that I could have done. And you know, you start to doubt yourself then a little bit too. So like these feelings never go away. It's really learning how to, to notice them and say, all right, I see you ego. Fear-driven ego crankiness.

Speaker 3: 14:11 

Right. And I'm going to do it. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's actually sad to me to think that there are people out there with a gift that are not moving forward and sharing their gifts with the world because of this. That makes me sad. I w I don't want that to happen. Whether it's photography or any business or anything, any venture that you wish to pursue in your life to not do it because you feel like you are an imposter. It is the wrong reason. I want to help people move through this now. Okay. There's another side to this. Nicole. Some people might hear this and think that they actually don't have this issue. So you might ask a group of photographers. Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Some will say yes, but some might say no to which I would reply. Okay. If that's true, but have you ever over-delivered on a session or have you ever under priced yourself to get a session? Do you over-give to your clients because that's a sign of low self esteem in regards to your business, which is a symptom of imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1: 15:19 

Yeah. And I think a lot of us have been there at some point or another. I can think of doing those things myself periodically.

Speaker 3: 15:27 

So I want to talk real quickly about the symptoms that, so you might not be labeling what you are experiencing as imposter syndrome. Maybe you are, maybe you are, but I'd like to give you a few symptoms that then you can say, Oh, okay, I'm feeling this. That is a version of imposter syndrome. One is a lack of self confidence, which we hear all the time inside of our groups, that people don't feel confident, feelings of inadequacy, you know, just that I'm not enough constant comparison to other people.

Speaker 1: 15:57 

Huge problem.

Speaker 3: 16:00 

Have any anxiety about a session or self doubt that that's imposter syndrome. If you truly do not trust in your own intuition and capability, that could be a sign. Do you have negative self talk or maybe dwell on a past session that didn't go well for you? Do you have irrational fears of the future future sessions? And or do you shrug off any accolades? Like if somebody says your photos are amazing or we love you, do you just shrug it off as like, Oh yeah. I was lucky at that session. These are all symptoms of imposter syndrome. So it's really important to understand what you're feeling and acknowledge it and then, okay. That's coming from imposter syndrome. And then I actually have, I believe 10 strategies to help you work through this now. Okay. Listen, I understand 10 sounds like a lot of strategies, a lot of work. You don't have to do all of these strategies. You just have to use these as they work for you, and it will help you move past the symptoms of imposter syndrome. But before I get to those, can we talk for a second about credentials? Nicole? Do you have a degree in photography? Oh, guess what?

Speaker 1: 17:22 

I mean, I'm better than you. That means I'm an imposter. I'm not,

Speaker 3: 17:26 

I'm not a real photographer because I don't have a degree. Some people will not go into photography because they don't have a degree in it. What are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 1: 17:34 

Gosh, yeah, I get that a lot. Oh, should I go to school? I have to go to school. I went to school for animal vet science. I didn't have really any art degrees. They were more things like animal physiology and genetics and like organic chemistry, things that I use all the time in day to day life now. Not at all, but anyway, um, yeah, you definitely don't need, I was completely self taught and I mean, quite frankly, I, I, the reason I went for my, I have, um, CPP, which has certified professional photographer through PPA. And I also have, um, my master photography degree and my craftsman degree through PPA as well, but I didn't pursue those from a place of, I need them to feel legitimate. It was more, Oh, those are there. So I want to do them.

Speaker 3: 18:24 

You like the challenge?

Speaker 1: 18:26 

Um, next up I'm on one day, I keep on saying, I'm going to start doing, working on my master artists, which is like composite and things like that for IPC and the master artists category. But, um, yeah, we'll see, one day I might add that one too.

Speaker 3: 18:38 

You just do that for fun. You're not doing that because you think you need to, to get clients.

Speaker 1: 18:42 

No, no 100%. And I can honestly tell you, there's very little difference in what your clients think of you prior. And after having those degrees, I can think of only one client that even mentioned them. And I mean, it is, it is maybe possibly a little bit of a, um, doesn't necessarily add value, but gives your potential clients a little bit of a peace of mind, knowing that you have, do have credentials. So you do know what you're doing, but if you are educating them on what you offer and you're showing consistent work, that they can see what they're going to get and your education is good and your systems are grinning. Your client experience is good. And they're not like, you know, out here dangling not getting answers to things, not knowing what's going on. Then the degrees really don't mean anything in terms of clients. Now I do want to just throw this caveat out here. I do think it is 100% impossible to go through your CPP certification or your master photographer degree and not improve your craft tremendously.

Speaker 3: 19:46 

Right? Of course, it's going to help for sure. You're going to learn something. So it's, it's really about pursuing it for the sake of improving yourself and getting an education. Not because you don't feel worthy of getting clients. Absolutely. Right. That's the difference? Well, I have a slightly different history with this, in that when I started teaching Photoshop probably 15 years ago, I found it really important to get my Adobe certification. So

Speaker 1: 20:13 

Shop like one yesterday,

Speaker 3: 20:16 

It was, it was a long time ago. And so, yeah, it was definitely in the CS category. So it wasn't back as far as the original Photoshops, but I wanted to be an Adobe certified expert in Photoshop because I wanted to put the initials AC after my name. So I could prove to everyone that I belong, that I, I had the credentials to teach. You should learn from me. I know what I'm doing. Okay. That was not, I did learn a lot and it was fantastic. And I'm so glad that I did it. But looking back on that, I thought I needed to do that so that people would take my classes when the reality is I needed to do it. So I would feel better about myself. And then once I did, I, I certainly behaved a little bit differently. And the imposter syndrome, at least in regards to teaching Photoshop was gone because that test was crazy hard. I always tell people think like, I don't know, um, medical exam or bar exam. It was very, very difficult. Okay. I'm being funny. It was not that hard, but it was very challenging. And I, I love to stack credentials after my name, but it's not necessary. You know, because the truth is if somebody likes you for who you are and they love your work, they're going to hire you. I know a photographer who picked up her camera from Costco and shot four clients the next week. And all she knew how to do was turn it on and shoot in auto. And people hired her and they paid her why they loved her. She created an experience for them. And it didn't matter that she didn't know how she, we actually probably need to bring her on one of these episodes because she does not have imposter syndrome. She just shrugged it off as like, Oh, this is just fun. You know, maybe that's a good point. Maybe if you're listening to this and you feel very heavy around imposter syndrome, maybe you just need to lighten up. Maybe just like have fun, take it easy. It's not that serious. Unless you are a neuro surgeon. Right. Then it's not that serious. It's photography. You're not curing cancer. You're not operating on someone's brain. You are taking photos. Like what do you mean imposter? Like lighten up a little bit, right? Yeah, for sure. Okay. So let's dive into these 10 strategies to deal with imposter syndrome. Should you be experiencing some of these symptoms? Number one is to acknowledge your feelings and just name it, you know, Oh, here I go again, talking negatively about myself or my images or my worth. Okay. That's a form of imposter syndrome. So essentially what I want you to do is know the signs, understand those symptoms and then acknowledge the feelings and just catch that you are experiencing it. That is tip number one.

Speaker 1: 22:50 

This is a huge tip. Not just for this really just for pretty much everything in life in that we just kind of go around in our little bubble of, Oh, just bounce around, depending on whatever happens, makes us feel. This makes us do that and makes us feel that way. It makes us act that way. But if we are able to stop and acknowledge what it is we are thinking or feeling or saying to ourselves, which is sometimes easier, said than done, it definitely takes practice. You can start to notice so many different things in your life and catch it and change it and flip it. So this is a good practice, no matter, no matter where you are on this imposter syndrome spectrum. Right.

Speaker 3: 23:30 

Or for anything just managing your emotions in general. Yeah. Okay. Number two is to recognize when you should feel fraudulent, are you really trying to deceive or trick people into paying you, hiring you? Isn't it, their choice to pursue your services? I mean, I don't think you ever forced anyone to hire you. So, um, this is kind of a funny one. Recognize when you should feel fraudulent, you should not feel fraudulent. You are not fraud. That is not what's happening here. Okay. Number three is to develop a new response to failure and mistakes. Henry Ford once said, failure is only the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently instead of beating yourself up for being human. Let's reframe failure as nothing more than feedback to move you in a different direction. So in other words, don't be afraid of failure.

Speaker 1: 24:25 

This is a huge one. And I would like to up it a little bit and not even be, don't be afraid of failure, but to actually embrace it, because that means you're out there. That means you're taking action. That means you're going to reach your goals a heck of a lot faster than the people that are just sitting at home saying, Oh, no, I shouldn't. I shouldn't, I can't, I can't do anything about it. So if you're out there failing, that means you're getting somewhere and you're learning and you're going to have more information to do it again. And you're going to reach your goals much faster than trying to avoid those failures. Yeah.

Speaker 3: 24:57 

So actually what you're saying is to seek it out, to seek out there. Yeah, no, you know, Sarah Blakely, she's the founder of Spanx. She said that as a child, every Friday evening, her dad would ask her and her siblings, what did you fail at this week? And he would actually get a little bit upset if they didn't have something to tell him. In other words, he wanted them to fail every single week and he wanted them to get used to it, embrace it and lean into it. And isn't that interesting.

Speaker 1: 25:28 

You seem to do okay. In life.

Speaker 3: 25:30 

Just fine. Okay. Number four is to develop a new script by working on your positive self-talk. So your script is that automatic mental tape that starts playing in situations that trigger these imposter feelings. Oftentimes the narratives that we tell ourselves are negative in self-defeating when you start a new job or project, instead of thinking, for example, wait, til they find out, I have no idea what I'm doing. Why not think everyone who starts new feels off base in the beginning? I may not know all the answers, but I'm smart enough to find them out. Simply being more attentive can help us catch our negative self talk and its track psychology today suggests growing that inner voice to outshine our inner critic. When you catch yourself thinking or saying negative things like I can't do this, or I've never been good at this. Instead, replace those things with more positive. Self-talk start telling yourself things like I believe in my abilities. And I think this is something I can get good at. So essentially believe in yourself. I mean, you figured it out. You've learned how to use the camera. You learn how to edit you. You can, you can do hard things. You can figure out what's next and just trust yourself, catch that negative self talk, spin it, reframe it and make it positive.

Speaker 1: 26:48 

And if somebody hired you or chose you for something, they didn't choose you because they think you're staying right. Shows you because they like what you have to offer. Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 3: 27:00 

Number five is to make a file of kind words and collect compliments. So for instance, on my phone, I have a photo album called kind words. And if someone posts in one of our groups and tags me into something nice, I screenshot it and I save it to the album. If I'm lucky enough to get a physical card in the mail, which does happen periodically and just makes my year, I take a photo of it. And then I don't have to keep the card that helps with clutter. And I put it inside of this album. And then when you are feeling negative or having the symptoms of imposter syndrome and remember because of strategy one, you're catching it sooner. You can immediately just go to this album and start reading these kind words. And actually it's pretty important that you also believe those words, this leads into the next strategy, number six, which is learning how to accept a compliment. So if you are reading all of these kind words that you've collected and you don't believe them, they're not going to do you any good. But if somebody says they love your photos, um, could you just own it and maybe say, thank you because I'm not sure why, but somewhere along the line we've learned that self-deprecation or playing small is necessary to seem humble or not boastful, but I just don't think that serves us. So I don't want you to hide or play small. We need you to be your full self. So you're going to create this file of kind words. You're going to collect them. And then when you get them, you're just going to say, thank you. And you're not going to say things like, Oh, it was just a lucky session, you know, or the dog was well-trained we had great light. The owners were amazing. Just say, thank you and move on.

Speaker 1: 28:44 

Yep. The only time you're allowed to do that is when somebody says, Oh my gosh, I love your dress so much. And you'd say, Oh, thanks. I got it for 10 bucks. The TJ max, that's the only time you're allowed to do something like that.

Speaker 3: 28:55 

It's pockets. And actually I read that in one of my books. And the author said, when that happens, when somebody says, I love that dress on you, that you shouldn't say that you should say, thank you. You clearly have good style. So you're funny, you know, when you turn it back around on them, okay. Number seven is to find a mentor or join a group with photographers that you respect and look up to and cultivate strong relationships with these people. Not only to learn from them and feel better about your progress, but also because many times others can see the greatness in us before we can see it in ourselves. And this is a good opportunity to talk with them about what you're going through when you do experiencing or experience these feelings. So the thing is, if you were investing in your education and joining a high level group, Nicole, I think specifically of elevate, you're paying money to be around high-level photographers, you're learning and growing. You, you really won't experience imposter syndrome. At least not as much nor as often, because you know that you are learning and growing and you have somebody to look up to. In other words, you're not 100% self-taught I was, you were in the beginning, but then we sought out education so that we can improve. And then those feelings of not being adequate, they just, they just kind of fade away. Wouldn't you agree?

Speaker 1: 30:22 

A hundred percent. Yeah. One of the other things that I hear, I forget whose quote it was, but I know, you know, Heather, I'm sure you do. Um, but you are the average of like the five people you hang around with Jim Roan, there you go. I knew you would know 130000% the being around people and creating relationships that, um, you know, and having coaching is really night and day. Just life changing your business. I know for me in, for hair of the dog, you and I are both in the same high level coaching program now for online businesses that I've been in now for two and a half years, there is no way I would have built my business to what I am doing today. There's no way I would be as low stress as I am about it. Like I would be so worried. So working way more, because I hadn't would have no idea how to build a team and build processes and do all these things that have allowed my business to be running and the backend without me. And you know, when you're going at things alone, you just don't know what you don't know. And you don't even know what it is you need to learn more about. And you don't have people to help you when you start to feel stuck. Or when you start to have this imposter syndrome come up, that that having other people that are familiar with you and your business and your goals can look at it and just call you out and say, no, you are good. You are feeling this, but this is not how we perceive this. Can you look at it from this perception? And then they're like, Oh, okay. And they have the tools then to start to start making way more progress that you just really can't do on your own.

Speaker 3: 32:05 

I think this is paramount to your success. You must find a mentor or a group that you look up to otherwise, as you said, you don't know what you don't know. So you're always questioning and there's always self doubt. Am I doing this right? Is this how I should be approaching this? I don't have anyone to bounce this off of. And the truth is one idea or one lesson from a mentor could save you three years. You know, one idea could save you five years. I mean, what is it worth? Because some people will say, this is a topic for a different about education and investment, because some people will say, I don't have the money in my business to invest, but that's exactly why you need to invest so that you can get the money.

Speaker 1: 32:48 

Yeah. You're working from possibility or circumstance and, and, you know, listen guys, I don't, I'm not saying you need to come, you know, join the Academy or join elevate. You don't need to choose me as a mentor. If you're digging what Heather and I have to say, all right, maybe look into it. If you're not look for someone else, just find somebody at the very least find another network of other photographers and make your own mastermind. Oh, funny story. Four years ago today, it just popped up on our feed. Heather, Heather and I, we started, um, I think it was Scott was four years ago. I was just like, I want to create a little mastermind here in Pittsburgh with some high performing amazing women. One was a wedding photographer. One was a family photographer. I was doing pets and Heather was letting an education. And I got in touch with these ladies and said, Hey, you guys want to get together once a quarter and just mastermind. And they all said yes. And it was amazing. And creating a little community can be as simple as that. So long story short, you guys need to make sure that you have some sort of support, whether that are as other people or, you know, there's, there's no, there's no substitution for having good coaching in your business to help you get out of your own way.

Speaker 3: 34:01 

I would argue that this is probably the most important of all of these strategies. I'm giving you 10. If there was one that I really, really would, would like everyone to pursue. It's this one it's finding a mentor or creating a group of people that are moving forward, that you look up to so that you can progress faster and feel more confident about it, right?

Speaker 1: 34:24 

A hundred percent. Yep. I'd say a hundred percent a lot. I'm just realizing

Speaker 3: 34:27 

I actually say the word right. A lot. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to move on. Number eight is to accept that you are a work in progress. In other words, get comfortable and accept where you are right now. Actually I w I don't even want to be comfortable with it or accept it. I want to celebrate it because you're on a journey and you don't need to be perfect. You just need to be better than you were yesterday. So, funny thing about this is I'm primarily wedding photographer. And I would tell people I don't need to be the best wedding photographer in the world. I just need to be better than I was last week, last Saturday. Right. I just need to be better. So if you are improving and moving forward, then you should celebrate that journey and not look at it in a negative light. Like, Oh, I'm, I'm down here. I'm not where I want to be. I'm not up there. What does that even mean? Right. But to just enjoy where you're at, you're going to get better. Things are going to improve. You're going to feel great about it. Your success is inevitable. So there is nothing to fear. Yeah. Okay. Number nine is to, Oh, and hear me clearly, please stop comparing yourself to others. It does not serve you. There is a difference between inspiration and comparison. And let me tell you what that is. If you are following people on Instagram and you look at their work and you think to yourself, Oh gosh, they're so talented. I will never be.

Speaker 1: 35:55 

That is bad.

Speaker 3: 35:56 

It's comparison in SPAD. Now the opposite of that one is let's say you see someone that's worse than you. And you think to yourself, Whoa, at least some better than them. Well, that's pride and it's also not good. So any way you slice it, comparison whether you are ahead or behind someone is not good. The opposite of that is inspiration. If you look at someone's photos and you get excited and you think to yourself, I'm going to grab my camera and my pop. I'm going to head outside. And I'm going to try to, you know, work with that photograph or, you know, not copy it, of course, but be inspired by it. That's inspiration. One of those things, inspiration makes you feel good about yourself because it leads to possibility. And the other comparison either makes you feel bad about yourself or makes you feel prideful either way nuts.

Speaker 1: 36:42 

Yeah. Yeah. And if you guys want more conversation on inspiration versus copying, finding your style, I had an amazing conversation with Alicia since Alaska, uh, episode 32 episodes back, go take a listen to that. It is one of the best podcast episodes that have been recorded. Of course, other than these ones that I've done with others. Right, right, right. Yeah. I get it.

Speaker 3: 37:06 

That's great. Okay. And finally, number 10 is to own your success, celebrate what you have achieved and recognize that you are the one that made it happen and just own it. Say, thank you. I've done this. Surely you have taken a photo that you're proud of. Why not just own that you did it. You have to own your success. You can't attribute it to the client or to luck or to the camera all. Have you ever heard that one? Nicole, somebody looks at your photos and they say, wow,

Speaker 1: 37:36 

You have a nice camera. You can use my camera. I guarantee you have no idea what buttons to push.

Speaker 3: 37:45 

Right. That's hilarious. So just own your success. Okay. So I want to wrap this up by just really quickly going through these steps, because we talked a lot about them. I just want to, at a high level list out these 10 strategies in case someone would like to write them down or just be refreshed. And again, I'm not suggesting that you do all 10 of these things. I know there are some overachievers out there, but pick what makes sense for you. Number one, acknowledge your feelings. Understand what you're feeling. Number two is to recognize when you should feel fraudulent. Number three is to develop a new response to failure and mistakes. Number four is to develop a new script by working on your positive. Self-talk number five is to make a file of kind words. Collect those compliments. Number six is to learn how to accept those compliments. Number seven is to find a mentor or a group. Number eight is to accept that you are a work in progress. Number nine is to stop comparing yourself to others. And number 10 is to own your success.

Speaker 1: 38:50 

So good. So good. And remember guys, you don't have to do all of those things. You don't have to be like, Oh my God, there's 10 things to do. I'm never going to remember them. I think, I think actually what we're going to do is I'm going to make a little download that you guys can print out and you can put that in your office. So when you start to kind of go down this imposter syndrome road, you can take a look over on your little bulletin board and say, okay, what can I focus on? Just to have it a little bit front of mine. So if you want to download that, you can go to hair of the dog academy.com/three, two, just the number three to 32. I'm not written out. And yeah, and that will be there as well as if you guys wanted to learn more about elevate. There'll be a link there as well. That's hair of the dog academy.com/elevate. You can learn more about that program that, um, Heather is one of the coaches inside, but yeah, this conversation has been so good, Heather, and I think it's so needed because so many people, this is such a common challenge in our industry. And you know, a lot of people have this challenge, but maybe you're nervous to admit it. Or like you said, they don't even realize that they are suffering from this because it takes those different forms of, you know, undervaluing ourselves and underpricing ourselves and over-delivering and busting our butt for the wrong reasons. So yeah, I think this is going to be really valuable.

Speaker 3: 40:10 

Right? Exactly. And if I had just something to leave you with a final thought is, please do not let this stop you from moving forward. It is okay to say that you feel like an imposter or a fraud. It is okay to experience those feelings. I just don't want it to stop you from taking action because the world needs your gift.

Speaker 1: 40:33 

Yeah. And the more you take action, the easier it gets the first time we do anything, it is definitely the hardest to do. But as you repeat it, as you get more experience, things become easier and easier and you become more and more confident in them. So Heather, can you tell us where we can find you, if people want to follow along with you on the interwebs,

Speaker 3: 40:54 

You can find [email protected] on Instagram it's flourish Academy. You can also join my free private Facebook group just by searching for flourish Academy. We primarily are wedding and portrait photographers, but we have a lot of hobbyists that join us in there as well. And I also have a podcast where I discuss things that are really holding you back in business in life. And while I am an entrepreneur who happens to be in the photography business, I have a lot of followers who actually aren't photographers on the podcast. They just like to listen to the mindset shifts so that they can move forward and get past their own issues and limiting

Speaker 1: 41:34 

Beliefs. Yup. And we all have them and you get rid of some and then there's some new ones. So for sure. Awesome. All right, Heather, thank you again so much. This has been such a great episode and I'm sure we'll have you on another episode soon. Have a good week. Bye everybody.

Speaker 2: 41:53 

Thanks for listening to this episode of hair of the dog podcast. If you enjoyed this show, please take a minute to leave a review. And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe. So you don't miss our upcoming episodes. One last thing, if you are ready to dive into more resources, head over to our [email protected]. Thanks for being a part of this pet photography community.