Nicole 

Hey, Welcome to the Hair of the Dog Podcast. I'm your host, Nicole Begley, and today I have a conversation with the one and only Heather Lahtinen. And we are talking all about how to live your rich life. Now, it's not necessarily about money, and you'll find out really quickly -- and here's the kicker -- most people have never defined this, and they're not actually living their life through intention. 

 

So you're gonna wanna stick around, enjoy. 

 

Voiceover

Welcome to the Hair of the Dog Podcast. If you are a pet photographer, ready to make more money and start living a life by your design, you've come to the right place. And now your host pet photographer, travel addict, chocolate martini connoisseur, Nicole Begley.

 

Nicole

Hey, everybody. Nicole from Hair of the Dog. Welcome back to another episode. We've got her back in the house. Heather Lahtinen, she's back. We're talking today about, well, I'll just wait and tell you in a minute. Hi, Heather. 

 

Heather

Thank you so much for having me. I'm happy to be here. I think I'm really gonna enjoy this topic today.

 

Nicole

I know, I'm super excited for it too. So let's see, when you guys are listening to this, you would've just celebrated U.S. Thanksgiving if you are in the United States, and you know, hopefully you've been having a little gratitude around Thanksgiving or just as a general daily practice and you know, but I think a lot of times people, until you like really internalize like a, a practice of gratitude, it's really easy to be like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm thankful. OK, back to normal life. I can't believe this is happening and you go back to whatever was happening. 

 

So I was scrolling on Facebook and I'm in a couple like Italian groups and they had this story and I'm like,

I've heard the story, but they've switched it out to be like an Italian village fisherman, but it actually was a Mexican village of fishermen … I believe the original story. So anyway, I wanna read you this little bit of a story and then we're going to discuss. Does that sound good, Heather? 

 

Heather

I would love that. Please. I would love to hear a story.

 

Nicole

It is Hair of the Dog storytime sponsored by whoever created this Mexican fishing story. Parable. Parable. I can't say that word. 

 

Heather

Yeah, parable. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. Okay, here we go. Got it. OK, so here we go. An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked inside the small boat where several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied … I feel like I shouldn't be saying like "the Mexican replied." Like it's, that feels like not PC. 

 

Heather

You are going to be canceled. OK. Just so you know. 

 

Nicole

I'm just reading the story.

 

I say the, the Mexican fisherman replied only a little while. The American then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish. And the fisherman said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The fisherman said, I sleep late. I fish a little, I play with my children, take siestas with my wife Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, play the guitar with my amigos, have a full and busy life. 

 

The American scoffed, I'm a Harvard MBA and could help you. You can spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middle man, you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You control the product, the processing and the distribution. You would need to leave the small coastal fishing village, move to Mexico City, then L.A. or maybe New York City.

 

But you can run your expanding enterprise. And the fisherman asked, but how long will this all take? The American replied, 15 to 20 years. And the fisherman asked, but what then? The American laughed and said, that's the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO, sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.

 

The fisherman said, "Millions, then what?" And the American said, then you would retire, move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll in the village in the evenings where you could sip wine, play the guitar with your amigos. 

 

Ironic, isn't it? 

 

Heather

Oh my gosh. So I read this and it made me laugh because I have found myself in both of these positions. Have you?

 

Nicole

A hundred percent. Like sometimes on a daily basis.

 

Heather

It's a minute-to-minute thing. So like example, somebody came up to me recently asking about photography. She wanted to buy a nicer camera to take photos of her dogs.

 

Nicole

Oh, OK. Sounds like my kind of person. 

 

Heather

Yes. And I was like, oh my gosh, yes, you should get a camera, you should take photos of your dogs and then you should post 'em on Facebook. And then you should tell all of your friends. And then you start photographing your dogs and then you start charging and then you can create a six-figure business.

 

Did you know that you could create a six-figure business in pet photography? Like it's amazing. And I'm going on and on arms waving, and she's just looking at me probably like this fisherman, like, well, well why? You know, I get so gung-ho about the possibility of what you can create. I sometimes forget that people have different motivations or, or different approaches. 

 

Nicole

Right. 

 

Heather

What are your thoughts? 

 

Nicole

Yeah, well, and also they have different goals of what their business could look like. So how, you know, like people come into our worlds, our students, and some people wanna leave a corporate job and have photography take over as their main income. Some people have no intention of leaving their corporate job and just want a little side hustle.

 

Some people want to maybe do this on the part time as they go into retirement, just to have a little bit of extra income or creative outlet. Some people don't wanna make any money with it and just want to help shelter dogs. Some people just wanna take pictures of their own dog, but be the best artist that they can be. 

 

So yeah, and along those lines, OK, let's, when you dig into any one of those, then you can go down the rabbit hole of, OK, maybe it's the person that wants the part-time business. OK, well, do you want your business set up so that you're doing in-person sales, selling product? Do you wanna do all inclusive? Do you want to do this and that? Do you wanna do studio? Do you wanna do outside? Do you wanna work with lighting? Do you not? 

 

Like there are so many rabbit holes to go down. And I think the moral of the story here is like, one person's success is not the same as somebody else's. 

 

Heather

I think you summarized it perfectly. There are many different avenues that you could choose to take, but it's largely based on who you are as a person and what you want. And I think something I could get better at is when someone asks me about buying a camera to take better photos of their dogs, number one, I should just answer the question maybe. 

 

But then secondly, I could ask another question along the lines of, what do you hope to achieve?

 

You know, have you ever thought maybe, because here's what's in my mind, I'm like, well, maybe she just doesn't know the possibilities, so I wanna make sure she understands. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. I mean, rightfully so. Some people have no idea. The dog photography thing, if you're listening to this podcast, you probably do. But other people out there don't,

 

Heather

I, I think people listening to this podcast don't understand just how many people don't know that this is a thing. If you go into any type of community event, general public meeting, and you ask people, "have you heard about pet photography?" my guess is that 95% of the people would say no, they have not. 

 

Nicole

Right.

 

Heather

So I think it's like, it's like my civic responsibility. It's my duty to make sure she knows she can make six figures photographing pets, but she may not care. So maybe I should just like ask, what is your goal? And hey, just so you know, like there are a lot of different avenues you can take with this depending on what's important to you. 

 

However, ah, Nicole caveat to this is, I, I sometimes don't believe people when they tell me what they want, here's why. Because I have known people who say, no, I don't want that, or I don't wanna do that. 

 

Nicole

Oh, but they really do with they're

 

Heather

Yeah, exactly. 

 

Nicole

Right, right. Or they're worried about who, what others will think or, 

 

Heather

Yes. Yeah. So I'd like to get to the bottom of that, like to really understand, you know, do you really not wanna do this? Or are there reasons that you think you don't wanna do this? The wrong reasons? You know, and can I help you with that? Oh my gosh, I just cannot, I struggle to turn off coach mode.

 

Like even in real life, it's a problem. I did it, I did it in the parking lot of Staples yesterday. I ran into this guy and it doesn't even matter what we were talking about. Well, it started with the weather. And he said something and I'm like, oh, what makes you say that? Why? Why do you feel that way? Like, tell me more. 

 

Oh my gosh. Just like, be a person, Heather.

 

Nicole

I love it. Oh my gosh. Yeah. 

 

That's the, that's funny. One of the other things I think that the story is talking about too though, is to get really clear on what you actually want in your life. 

 

Heather

Yes. 

 

Nicole

Because you and I both know this, that what do you want? Like what are your goals? OK, somebody might throw out six-figure business, like, but they don't really know what their goals are. Like very few people can actually sit down and be like, my goals are X, y, Z. Like this is my relationship goal, this is my, you know, they've never really given it the thought of what do they want their life to look like?

 

What specifically do they want to have happen in these different avenues or these different buckets of their life? And they neglect to realize that they're all related, even though they're not. You know, if one of those buckets is like hemorrhaging all of your energy with giant holes all through it, you are going to have a very hard time being successful in the other buckets.

 

Heather

Oh, OK. Okay. 

 

I have to say it. Listen, I told one of our mutual friends recently, you are only as successful as your most important relationship. So if your most important relationship is mediocre or even worse, then you will struggle to have success in other areas of your life. So number one, understanding it is absolutely all related.

 

And maybe you could make some adjustments in other areas, but also understanding what, how can I gain more clarity around what it is I truly want? So, you know, like you said, somebody might say, oh, I'm looking for a six-figure business. Well, and you were alluding to this, the next part of that question is, well, what do you think that would give you? What are you looking for? So I was working with my coach last week and different, but similar, with talking about what I wanted and how I wanted the business to look and blah, blah, blah. 

 

After her asking me multiple questions, it came down to this: I'm looking for security. 

 

Nicole

Hmm. 

 

Heather

I want security. So when I say I wanna have a million-dollar business, it is because of what I think a million dollar business will do for me. I wanna be able to create my own security. Not that money is equal to security, I'm not saying that. But what I'm saying is that I wanna be able to create my own security by being able to generate income.

 

How, when, wherever, whatever that looks like. Because, so one of the things I wanna lean into as this new version of Heather … look out … is being bold, courageous and creating my own security, because that's the type of person I wanna step into. So, you know, this, our mentors have talked about who you are becoming and who, who are you being right now and who do you want to be in the future? Most of us see ourselves, you know, in the future as a better version of what we are now. 

 

Of course you're growing and learning. So who am I being, or who am I becoming in the future? And all of these goals and what we want, just like you said, it's all like interconnected. But I do think we need to go deeper into like, OK, I want a pet photography business because I wanna leave my job. OK, what will that give you? You know, the number one answer to that: freedom. 

 

Nicole

Freedom, freedom. Yeah, which is a hundred percent my, when you're talking about security, I'm like, no, no, I want freedom. 

 

Heather

Yep. Yep. So, but knowing that changes your thoughts, your emotions, and ultimately your actions and your results. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. 

 

Heather

If you are unclear as to what it is, you're, I know I'm seeking security, freedom, options, flexibility, you know, we've done these core value exercises a million times.

 

Very helpful. By the way, I just did a new one the other day. I'll have to send it to you. 

 

OK.  Side note, I'll send that to you. But it's just a different way of looking at it, really understanding what you are seeking through the success you wish to experience in whatever area. When we talk about business and photography,

obviously, but, you know, so for instance, somebody might say, well, I want more confidence. Why? Like, who cares? Like, what, what do you think that would give you? Well then I would, I would show up more and I would get more clients and I would make more money. 

 

Oh, so you wanna grow your business, but you, what you're saying is confidence, but the truth is you wanna grow your business 

 

Nicole

And they think confidence is the stuff to get them there. 

 

Heather

Yeah. Correct. Correct. 

 

And, but you have to go through these thought exercises to, I, I'm, I call this thought work. I do a ton of thought work. What are, what am I thinking and is it directing me towards what I want, towards what I want? Have I even defined that? Because most, most people haven't. That's piece they haven't. 

 

Nicole

Yes, They haven't. 

 

That you haven't like … truly. And you know, so many people want freedom, but they end up, I mean, you and I kind of the same, although not, I actually did a time study on how much I actually work, and it's about an average of 20 hours a week. Because I have two pretty much teenagers and a horse habit. So yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm really, really ridiculously, insanely busy. But for the actual amount of time, like I couldn't do half of the things I do in my life if I had a full-time 9-to-5 job.

 

Heather

Right. 

 

Nicole

And for that, I'm very thankful. And for that I'm also unemployable because I can never go back to that. 

 

Heather

Oh, you and me, both sister. No, nobody would ever hire me. But what you're describing is a concept I call your rich life. And by rich, I do not mean money. I mean that you are living a life that feels rich to you in that you can work, you can go to the barn, you can run your kids around, you can go away on the weekends. You, you can do all of these things you've created for some people

 

Nicole

Like the fishermen. 

 

Heather

Exactly like the fishermen. 

We had a really, really lovely day on Sunday and I said to Craig, this is my rich life. I, I just like, this was the most perfect day. Or maybe it was Friday, it doesn't matter. But it was like everything that we had done that day just was fun and happy and, and really, truly enjoyable. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. 

 

Heather

Like in the depths of my soul, I am grateful. And I said, this is my rich life because we've built a life that gives us the options to do that.

 

Nicole

Yeah. And I love that you're bringing this up too, because I think that's an exercise that everyone should do. Figure out what you want, but really figure out what that rich life is like. Take everything off the table. What would your perfect day look like? 

 

Heather

Yes. 

 

Nicole

What would your perfect week look like? 

 

Heather

Yes. 

 

Nicole

What would your perfect, like year schedule, how often are you traveling or not traveling? What are you do, like what are you doing with your time? And then figure that out. 

 

Ramit Sethi...

 

Heather

That's what I was thinking. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. He's the one I think that coined "this rich life." He, and he kind of walks you through this, this exercise of figuring out like what does the rich life actually cost. Like in the case of the fisherman, not much. 

 

Heather

Exactly. 

 

Nicole

You know? So like, I think we all get caught in this, this trap of feeling like we need to chase more money and thinking that more money is going to give us our happiness or give us this freedom, or give us these things, you know, listen, more money, certainly yes alleviates some challenges sometimes. Yes. But I think a lot of the things that lead to a rich life are not money dependent, but more time dependent. 

 

Heather

That's It. Oh my gosh. A hundred percent. Yes. 

 

It is very little to do with money, although money does make things easier. So you and I started listening to that podcast and it was about maybe six or nine months ago, earlier this year, my husband and I sat down one Sunday afternoon each with a sheet of paper or, or we had a notebook and we, we passed it back and forth because this is in the same notebook. We each wrote down, I don't know, 20 things that we would describe as our rich life. So things like taking a nap on a Sunday afternoon or being able to enjoy a leisurely dinner things, things of that nature. 

 

But we went a lot deeper and wrote all of these things down. And then guess what? We shared our list with each other. Imagine this. Imagine if you truly understood what makes you content, happy, grateful, feel good. 

 

Nicole

Right. 

 

Heather

You understood it. And you know, it's not money because we're all seeking a feeling, by the way. That's everything we do. 

 

Nicole

And that's what people think money will give you. 

 

Heather

Correct. 

 

It's that feeling. Whatever that feeling is for you, Everything we do is either to seek or avoid an emotion, everything. So if you understood the emotions that you're trying to seek, oh my gosh, you are like light years ahead of everyone else …

by the way, I feel a workshop coming on. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. 

 

Heather

So we'll do this together and but imagine this, imagine if you understood your partners, like for me to understand his rich life, then when he says he wants to go, you know, mountain biking with Evan because it's very important to him. He enjoys it, they like to do it.

 

So if it's some afternoon and he's like, like I can understand this is really important to him, you know? 

 

Nicole

Right. 

 

Heather

So I wouldn't resist it. In fact, I would do everything I could. And now that I know his, listen Nicole, I do everything I can to encourage any and all of those activities. So guess what? Then Craig's happier and then I'm happier.

 

And then I'm doing -- by the way, one of my rich life things is to sneak in work when it's not work time

 

Nicole

I was gonna say also that fits in really well with you being able to be like, oh, I'm home alone. OK. I, my work done in a quiet house. 

 

Heather

Hey Evan and I are gonna go to this mountain bike park. It's actually out near your old house. 

 

And so it's like 45 minutes, an hour away and he's like, we're gonna be there all afternoon. Is that OK? And I'm like, yeah, that'll be just fine. Miss you so much. Have fun. See you later. Go, go, go, go. And then I get to do the things on my rich life list.

 

Which one of those, I mean, I like to do things like reading and I have some hobbies, but I do love to work. And if I get bonus work time in, I think, oh my gosh, this is amazing. So yeah, it's each, the, the fisherman's rich life was different than the stock broker's rich life and their perceptions were just different.

 

And that's OK. It's just a matter of understanding what makes you tick. And I, I wonder how many people really know themselves. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. Oh man, I think we're gonna have to do this as a workshop. I sense this as what we, this is gonna be one of the next podcast parties. 

 

Heather

Yeah. January. 

 

Nicole

Well I was thinking January would help people plan their year.

 

Heather

OK. February do a, OK. February. February, guys, rich life workshop coming up for our podcast party. 

 

Nicole

If you are like, what's a podcast party? Come join the Hair of the Dog community, HairOfTheDogAcademy.com/community. We have a free community there. And this is where we hold these free trainings monthly. 

 

It's our podcast parties, which used to be just like us talking about the podcast stuff and, but we would end up like kind of coaching, training people as we went in. So now we've just had some things we wanted to walk people through. A couple months have started to become training. 

 

Heather 

It just shifted because we have so many things that we wanna share and so many ways we want to help people.

But man, if you understand your values and what you want and then you decide you want to build a photography business, I promise you it will be so much easier, lighter, faster, less stressful than if you are trying to figure out who you are whilst building the business. I mean, you'll certainly learn about yourself. Like super quick example is I did not have all of this data when I started my businesses.

 

So I had no clue. 

 

Clueless number one right here. 

 

And I was working 30 weddings a year, which means I was booking my Saturdays in the summer a year to a year and a half in advance. 

 

Nicole

No, see that right there is a hard no for me. 

 

Heather

But I didn't know that. 

 

Nicole

I know, I know. You didn't know that one about you.

 

Heather

Yeah. I didn't know that about myself. 

 

So I grew this business, I was killing it six figures very quickly, 30 weddings a year, full schedule. And I loved it. And I loved my clients and I loved working. But several years, I mean, it was probably a solid decade. I, I was like, why am I kind of grumpy?

 

Like I have, I built everything exactly the way I wanted. What is with this sort of like low-level discontent. And it took a while, but I figured out that I was actually in complete contradiction to one of my core values, which is freedom, flexibility and options. I actually hate commitments. So for me to commit …

 

Nicole

Especially a year ahead of time …

 

Heather

… Saturday and the summer when the Pittsburgh summers are like five seconds long. 

 

Nicole

Right. Right. 

 

You're like, I'll give you a Saturday in January, that's fine. I only shoot winter weddings. 

 

Nicole

Right, right. 

 

Heather

Or what's, what's wrong? So many brides wanna get married in January in Pittsburgh, I always said, what's wrong with a Tuesday in March?

 

Let's go. You know, but I, I started to recognize that I had a major core value conflict on my hands, major, that I had to figure out a way to resolve because it was starting to get ugly up in my head, if you dig what I'm saying. So I raised my prices and I took on fewer weddings. And then ultimately after about 15 or 17 years of shooting weddings,

I started to really, really slow them down and focus more on teaching and leading. 

 

And it was sort of the natural evolution of things. But I've gotta tell you, I am still to this day, so I'm 20 years into business at this point. And every Saturday in the summer, I will say to my husband, I am so glad we're not at a wedding right now.

 

And, and listen, I loved it when I was doing it, so it was all good. But now I'm like, don't even try to get me to schedule something on a Saturday. Like, don't even try. It's gonna cost you so much money. Like it is just like, I'm thinking 10 grand to get me off this hill. It's just not happening.

 

But I didn't know that. So if something feels like it's not fitting, like you're out of alignment or you're discontent or you're downright grumpy, you have to ask yourself, where's the core value conflict? Where am I in conflict? Am I the fisherman trying to be the stockbroker or the stockbroker trying to be the fisherman? 

 

And you find this and you resolve it, you'll be so much happier. 

 

Nicole

Yes. Yeah. I mean, so good. Oh my gosh, so good about those core value conflicts that, yeah, and sometimes you don't realize what your core values are. Like you almost have to test them. I feel like you'd be like, oh yeah, no, this, this isn't ... because I think we can get pretty clouded when you're just like going through some exercises and like,

oh, I'm gonna figure out my core values. 

 

And some people might lean into core values that are expected. Like for instance, I'm a mom. Well, shouldn't my kids be my number one core value all the time? Like, but what about if freedom for me means like all of the things, like I have freedom to do things with my kids and like also one of my core values is like leading by example for my daughter and my son, especially my daughter to be like, Hey listen, you can have all the things you want, you know? 

 

Heather

That's right. 

 

Nicole

Like you don't have to choose between …

 

Heather

That's right. 

 

Nicole

... the business or work and kids. Like, it's all of these things. So I think, I think people can get a little bit confused, not confused, but they end up picking what they think should be the correct core values.

 

Because and not even consciously like, oh, I think I should picks … 

 

Just because of society or family, like what they were taught growing up or just expectations in their core relationships. But that key to realize that something is amiss is just kind of that like unsettled. 

 

Heather

That's it. 

 

Nicole

Angst. Yeah. 

 

It's, it's, it's often a core value conflict.

 

I had one, I forget what it was, but you helped me see it. You're like, you're in a core value conflict. And I was like, oh damn. I am. 

 

Heather

Yeah. You just .. I dunno. I love, I love that word angst. I think that's exactly what it is. If you are grumpy in your life, you just need …

 

Nicole

And it isn't necessarily grumpy, it's just like this, like this longing for more. 

 

This heaviness or this just like God, like if you've ever said to yourself like, God, I'm supposed to do this every day. You know what I mean? Like this, this is life. Like there's gotta be more like if you ever find yourself thinking there's gotta be more, there's gotta be more. 

 

Oh yeah. There is. 

 

There's, you're just coming up against a core value conflict that's not working. 

 

Heather

Yes. I think I have led probably three to four different types of core value conflict trainings inside of Elevate for a couple of reasons. And I will continue to repeat them in different ways because people, people tend to pick the things they think they should pick or they just don't know themselves until they test it out.

 

And I always say this, when you look at your core values, there should be 10 or less and there's five that are really important to the top five if you look at it. And it's not something you're actively living out, it is not in fact your core value. It's an aspiring value. 

 

Nicole

Mm. 

 

Heather

You gotta remove it. For instance, years, many, many years ago when I very first got into personal growth and development, I had put health and exercise or like fitness as one of my top core values. And my husband laughed at it. He looked and he's like, what's that about? And I'm like, that's important to me. And he said like, since when? Like literally nothing.

 

Nicole

How much are you actually doing with it? 

 

Heather

Yeah. And I was like, dang bro. Fair enough. I took it off my list. OK, now it is on my list because for the past whatever many years I've been working out five to seven days a week without ever missing a day. So, or when I schedule it. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. 

 

Heather

So that was not, you can't tell me that that's a value to you and you haven't been to the gym in a hundred years. Like then that's not it. Your core values are the things that you are living out today. That's what they are. Because they will show up in your life. 

 

Nicole

My core value is enjoying my food. 

 

Heather

You do like good food. That's true.

 

One of my favorite things to do when we're together, whether we're at your house or traveling, is we go out to eat and it's always delicious. 

 

That is true. I can appreciate that. 

 

But I mean, the key here is back to that parable, which I love, I think that is ...

 

Oh I love it. 

 

… is like, know who you are and what you want and then don't be sorry about it. Period. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. And, and make a plan for it. And yeah, like, and just looking at it like just always wanting more income or growing businesses or growing whatever it is, is not always, not always what you need or what you really truly, deeply want. You know? 

 

So to ask yourself what is that rich life, I can't wait to do that training in February, guys. Sorry, I'm gonna make you wait till February. 

 

Yeah. It'll be so good. 

 

Heather

I wonder, I mean we're gonna have to talk a little bit about values in that training. We're gonna have to lead with that. But it's like a list of things that you just really enjoy about your life that just make you smile and you feel grateful for.

Because the truth is what you focus on, you will feel and what you focus on, you will get more of. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. 

 

Heather

So if you're focused on what you don't like about your life or your lack, then you're just gonna prove yourself correct and get more of it. 

 

You have to shift, this is the thought work I'm talking about. You have to shift the thoughts, not OK. It's very easy for you to say like, gratitude practice, everybody says it. 

 

But then you also said like, no, no, no. Like for real. 

 

You embody it like you internalize it. Like no, I am so grateful. I bet. Knowing you, I bet there are times you find yourself with Rocco at the barn just thinking, oh my gosh, I am so thankful to have this and this opportunity. 

 

Nicole

Oh yeah. Regularly. Like truly. 

 

Yeah. I mean honestly, quite frankly, yesterday we're recording, this is November 9th, yesterday I went to vote and like had a moment of like, I am so thankful I live in a country where you get to do this in an orderly way, you know? 

 

Heather

Right, right. 

 

Nicole

And it's like, you know, regardless of the choices that we have to make that you know, are not always the best options, but you know, it's just like you can find gratitude anywhere. Like, and if you, if you are having like a really just really, really hard day, I am like firm a hundred percent believer that like you can turn it around.

 

Like you might still be sad, there might still be something really upsetting going on in your life, but you can, you can always find something to be thankful for. You know, something to be thankful for that like, hey, I'm alive and breathing, I have a dog, I have water coming out of the, like clean water that I can drink in my house.

 

I have electricity, I have a house. I live in a developed world, like a developed country in the world. You know, like it could go on and on and on of getting like really granular. I mean you can even go so much just to being like, you know, I live at this time, you know, like where this all the, all the opportunity, like so much of the opportunity that's available to us now was not available 25 years ago. 

 

Heather

Right, right. 

 

It's incredible. 

 

Yeah. So sometimes if I'm really struggling and it's too much of a stretch to go into gratitude, to even say, I'm thankful for the things that you just listed. What I will do is I'll say, oh my gosh, Heather, just pick a new thought. Can you think of  something else? 

 

You know it, you know, you're having one of those days or you feel like everything's going wrong or whatever. You didn't get enough sleep, it doesn't matter. But maybe being thankful is just too hard for you. Could you just change the thought to a different one, one that feels a little bit better or serves you a little bit more? 

 

And I've, I've gotta tell you, I've been working really hard on being aware of my thoughts and what they're creating. So I heard Jay Shetty say this recently -- by the way, he's the author of the book, think Like A Monk, which I loved, he's got a great podcast.

 

And he said that when he was at the monastery, so he lived with monks for a couple of years. He said, this one monk would just stop him randomly. And he'd say, what are you thinking? Like, we're super random. What are your thoughts right now? What are your thoughts? So I've been doing this to myself. I will like just, I actually thought about setting a random, random alarms on my phone where it will, it will just say like, "Stop. What are you thinking?" And when I do this, I often find that my thoughts are not ideal. Ideal. You could higher quality.

 

Nicole

You could pick like a little like totem, like a little, a little physical something that you put in a couple spots around your house when you see you're like, and what am thinking, what am I thinking? 

 

Heather

So my new thoughts are like about Seven-Figure Heather, you know, what's … would Seven-Figure Heather be thinking that? 

 

Nicole

It kind of rhymes?

 

Heather

Yeah. Oh, I like it. 

 

It … like it goes together. 

 

Yeah, I'll take that. 

 

So, but I mean, I'm human, right? So I'm gonna have emotions, I'm gonna have feelings and I'm gonna have difficult days. But, so when I find myself really at a difficult spot and unable to get toward gratitude, I just try to choose a new thought, that's all. 

 

Nicole

Yeah. 

 

And the thought barometer is our feelings. If you're feeling …

 

For sure.

 

Like if you're feeling great, it's like, oh, all right, what am I thinking about? Cuz obviously it's something good. And if you're feeling like the angst, like what are you thinking about? It's probably not serving you. 

 

Heather

That's right. That's right. The thought barometer. I love that. Yes. That's a good one. 

 

Nicole

Oh man. Oh, well this has been so good you guys.

 

Yeah. We'll do a training in February if you wanna dive more into like what your rich life is. Definitely look up Ramit Sethi, he wrote "I Will Teach You To Be Rich." And he has like a podcast and some training online and I know he talks about the rich life often. So definitely go check that out. 

 

Figure out like that is by far one of the hardest things to do, I think. And one of the most beneficial is to live your life by intention. 

 

Oh, like of your intention. 

 

Not what you think society should think your intention is, or your family should think your intention is, but like, what do you actually want out of life? And like there's no one stopping you go create it, do it.

 

Heather

Oh, listen, I was talking with my therapist a couple weeks ago and I actually had my head in my hands like, oh, downtrodden. 

 

Dejected. 

 

And I was like, I don't know what I want, you know, which is not true. I do, but I, but it's OK to have this moment of like, I don't. I said to her, oh, why am I chasing after all these things? Why am I, is it really what I want? Or is it because I think that's what people think I should be doing? Or that's what other people want me to do? 

 

I got, I had a, I gotta tell you, Nicole, I had a minute of like an existential crisis where I was like, what do I, and then, and then I, I got back on my feet, you know? And I was like, no, I actually do wanna create a million-dollar business. It's really exciting to me and it's fun and I know it'll be challenging, but I love to grow and learn. And so, no, I do wanna do these things.

 

I have felt in my bones since I decided at the age of 19, I wasn't gonna continue the family legacy of poor. I knew in my bones I could, I was, I was gonna be rich, I was gonna make a lot of money and I was gonna do really well, and I am doing well, but I'm, I'm, I'm aiming higher. 

 

Aiming higher. 

 

Why not? It's fun. 

 

Nicole

I love it. I love it. Oh man. Well this has been a great discussion. 

 

Heather

Interesting. 

 

Nicole

And yeah, let us know if you're more on the stockbroker side or the Mexican fisherman side. 

 

I can't wait. My kids go to college and Brett and I housesit our way around the world doing a combination of the Mexican fisherman life and the stockbroker life, you know? Cause I don't think I could ever give up my business. 

 

Oh my gosh. No one actually says you have to choose the two, one over the two. 

 

Heather

Like, oh My gosh. You're such a hybrid. 

 

Nicole

Yes, Yes. We're, we're living our life by intention, Heather. I want it all. 

 

Heather

Yeah, no, you're, oh my gosh, that's such a good point. And seasons will change. Like the kids go to college. My kids are a little bit older. My season has shifted. You know, one of my friends with little kids the other day, she said to me, she's got three littles at home. And she said, well, what do you do on your weekends?

 

And I'm like, whatever I want. What do you mean, what do I do? Like it's amazing and I love my life. Aren't you sad? Don't you miss them? That's an interesting concept. I'll have to think on that one.

 

 Nicole

Yeah, my brother and his wife have a baby that's almost a year. So they're in the thick of it.

 

Like, oh man, no. I'm like, No, thank you. Pretty happy. Like, Hey, good morning kids. You're making your lunch. Great. Okay. 

 

Heather

Don't forget to do your laundry. 

 

Nicole

Yeah, exactly. Oh man. All right, we'll wrap this up, guys. Thank you. It's been great. Thanks for sticking with us for,

I love these podcast episodes. We're like, let's just talk about these things. Who knows where we're gonna end up? 

 

Heather

We Have a lot of things to talk about. That is for sure. 

 

Nicole

We do. We do. I hope you guys found it valuable. If you did, let us know at NicoleBigleyOfficial, my Instagram, at FlourishAcademy is Heather's, and we'll see you soon. 

 

Heather

Bye everybody. See ya. 

 

Nicole

Thanks for listening to the Hair of the Dog podcast. This was episode number 168. If you wanna check out the show notes for access to any of the resources that we mentioned, simply go to www.hairofthedogacademy.com/168. 

 

Thanks for listening to this episode of Hair of the Dog Podcast. If you enjoyed this show, please take a minute to leave a review. And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss our upcoming episodes. One last thing, if you are ready to dive into more resources, head over to our website at www.hairofthedogacademy.com. Thanks for being a part of this pet photography community.