00:00:00 Welcome to the hair of the dog podcast. I'm Nicole Begley. And today we have one of our favorite guests back on the podcast, Heather Ladin, and we are talking about a productivity hack that really no one else ever talks about. And it is not what you think. So stay tuned. This is going to be a good one. Welcome to the hair of the dog podcast.
00:00:20 If you're a pet photographer, ready to make more money and start living a life by your design, you've come to the right place. And now your host pets, photographers, travel addicts, chocolate martini, comma sewer, Nicole Begley. Hey everybody, Nicole here from hair of the dog. And welcome back to another podcast. I have your favorite guest on again today,
00:00:44 Heather, laminin from the flourish Academy hair of the dog elevate coach, and also around in the Academy as well. You guys can't get enough of Heather. She is back yet again and today we are talking about the biggest secret to your productivity and it's not what you think at all guarantee. You're not seeing this one coming. And now here's the thing before I unveil what we're going to be talking about here.
00:01:10 I want you to come into this podcast with an open mind, and I want you to come into this podcast, listening, truly listening and asking yourself these questions. Because when we tell you what this productivity hack is nine out of 10, you are going to be like, Oh, I've got that. It's fine. But here's the truth. If you are not where you want to be yet,
00:01:34 and you still have goals that you're climbing towards, which don't all of us, then you can improve this and you can get there faster. So put down that other stuff, pop in those ear buds. And let's talk about it, Heather, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me. And I think you just raised a really good point,
00:01:53 which is if you are not where you want to be and who is because we're always growing and evolving, then this applies to you because my fear is that someone will hear what we're going to say and think, no, I've, I've got that. I'm good in that area. But again, please hear us. If you're not where you want to be,
00:02:13 you can improve in this area. And I am all about all of the different types of productivity systems and hacks. I love time management. It's something I thrive on. And when I learned this, Oh, probably a few years ago, I was skeptical. I was like, okay, I don't know that that's really going to help my productivity, but the more I began to dig into it and apply it in my own life in business,
00:02:38 I can actually see the results. So again, we're asking you to have a bit of an open mind here. As we introduce this topic, I love it. People are now on the edge of their seats. Like, Oh my God, what are they going to say? It's drinking celery juice every morning. No, just kidding. That's not it at all.
00:02:56 Thank goodness. All right. So Heather, tell us what this big secret productivity hack is. I believe I am certain that integrity is absolutely a prerequisite to high levels of performance, specifically self integrity. In fact, Dr. Steven Johnson from he's a Harvard business professor did all of these studies on companies that focused on integrity. And they saw an increase in productivity between three and 500% in output Results with out any additional input.
00:03:35 So by changing nothing else, but improving their integrity, studying it, understanding it and improving it. They saw an increase in productivity, but three to 500%. Well that got my attention. And I thought, okay, how can we apply this to our lives and our businesses? Yeah, absolutely. And you know, it's easy. A lot of these things,
00:03:57 if you're working with a team, obviously having integrity to your team of saying, you're going to get things to them when it's, when you say you are and all of that stuff. But a lot of us are working as solopreneurs. We are running our photography business by ourselves. We don't have a team. And one of the hardest pieces of integrity,
00:04:15 because I think at least for me too, when I first heard integrity, I'm like, of course I'm integral. You know, I keep my word. I do what I say. And when there's somebody else at the other end, gosh, darn it. I try even harder. But how much H how many of you guys, when it comes to doing what you say you're going to do for yourself,
00:04:32 yourself, integrity, those excuses are way easier. I'll get to that tomorrow. How many of you didn't work out this morning, even though you were planning to yesterday, how many of you didn't eat the salad for lunch? Cause that you were planning to do yesterday or this morning when you woke up, how many of you are working on something in your business that you know has to be done?
00:04:54 Maybe it's finally calling that marketing partner, but you chose instead to update your portfolio because that was easier and safer. And we just talk ourselves out of doing it. And that my friends is where self integrity, rears its ugly head or lack thereof. Talk about the difference between the two. So integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles or moral uprightness,
00:05:19 but self integrity is about being true to your values and what you stand for in life. And it's shown through your actions because you may claim to have a set of values or beliefs, but if they are not reflected in your actions, that is your everyday life. If they're not, then you lack self integrity. Because when you say you stand for something,
00:05:42 then you should do it. You should take action. It's about being your word, honoring your word. And I know that this seems pretty straightforward. I mean, most of us are pretty honest. I, you know, Nicole, the truth is, I don't think we have a group of liars here listening to us, right. Have you ever done something that you didn't want to do because you didn't want to rock the boat?
00:06:06 Are you a people pleaser? If you are a people pleaser and you do things that you do not want to do and you are not being true to yourself, you are lacking self integrity and it is impacting you more than you think in both your life and your business when you agree, Nicole Great. And one of the ways this can pop up is maybe you have that client that you're like,
00:06:29 man, yes, I'll take that client. I know this client, isn't the right fit, but I really, I want a client, so I'll take it. And then you're at the session. They're like, Oh, well there's that pretty gazebo over there. Let's shoot at the gazebo. And you're letting them kind of dictate things because, because you're just like wanting to please them and okay,
00:06:46 listen, listen, I want to please my clients. I want to give my clients what they want, but it's also okay to say, Oh, that is a pretty good Zebo. But the light and gazebos is horrific in the pictures. It's not good for photographs. Let's go over here. That is it. So funny you use that example. I always use the example of<inaudible>.
00:07:05 It was because I photograph weddings and a bride will see a gazebo and go crazy. And I, and I'm, I always tell them, you know, okay. Ultimately let's be clear. I will be honest and truthful and say that the light isn't great or I don't love it. Let's photograph over here. If they would like a quick shot in front of the gazebo,
00:07:24 it's their wedding. I will absolutely do it, but I will do it from a place of integrity. Meaning I have explained I don't lie. And I don't say, Oh, look at that. Using zebra there in photograph, I'm going to be honest, but I am, I am going to do what's what's best for my client. And also potentially what my client likes.
00:07:46 Even if I don't like it. It's just, I'm going to be integral about it. Yeah, absolutely. Back to that self integrity thing. One of the, I think biggest challenges and biggest downfalls of what compounds when we start to lack self integrity. So when we think it's just no big deal that we just skip that workout today, we skipped that meditation.
00:08:10 We did whatever it was. Or we skip that one piece of client work we needed to do. We think it's no big deal, no big deal, but this compounds significantly over time. And what are you telling your subconscious mind? What are you teaching yourself? Oh, I can't trust myself. So how the heck are you ever going to run a successful business?
00:08:31 When you deep down inside in your subconscious, even if consciously, you don't think that you are still practicing these behaviors and you somewhere deepen that dark recesses of your brain are not trusting yourself. So how are you ever going to trust yourself to actually do the scary things to put your business out there? I think That's the biggest question. Everyone needs to ask themselves.
00:08:53 What message are you to yourself about who you are? Because you listen, no one walks around saying, Oh yeah, I'm out of integrity. Yep. Yep. I'm a liar. And, and I'm always out of integrity. You usually can't see it. You just see the reasons you're not doing something or you see the excuse or the justification that you're making.
00:09:19 You don't see it as being out of integrity. So, I mean, let's back up a few steps. How can you even work on this? If you're not even acknowledging where you're out of integrity. So you say like in regards to your business, you say I'm going to finish my website or finalize my prices or contact that marketing partner. And you don't do it.
00:09:40 You, you sent two messages to your brain. One is, you're a liar. And the second is you're not worth it. And you don't know what you're doing. And that, again, like Nicole said, this is all at the subconscious level. Nobody walks around thinking this, but it absolutely impacts your performance and your productivity and ultimately your results.
00:10:00 I remember Nicole back in the day before social media, if a bride contacted a photographer and let's say we got the feeling that this bride was really high maintenance, you know, like red flags, everywhere, photographers in my industry were known for saying to brides, lying to them and saying, I'm booked for your date. I'm booked for your day. Your dates not available on booked.
00:10:24 And the first time a wedding photographer said that to me, I was asking my opinion about a potentially high maintenance bride. She said, well, I'm just going to tell her I'm booked. And I said, why would you lie? Because, okay. And now that with social media, you could see if somebody was booked or not booked because they would either be posting a wedding or they wouldn't.
00:10:42 So I definitely wouldn't do it now, but I wouldn't even do it back then because you're sending a message to yourself about your character. Now, listen, if you don't want to take the high maintenance bride, this is not about hurting anyone's feelings or being rude, No working with you. You are awful All around. You know, I would say things like I'm unavailable for your day,
00:11:08 which in my mind meant, you know, I could be on vacation with my family. I could be out of town. I could be washing my hair that day. It doesn't matter. I'm just not available for your day. But I would never ever tell a lie in my business because how do you expect to grow a business or build something based on lives?
00:11:29 And you think, well, some people will think it's just a white lie. Yeah. Well, that's what I was going to say. Some people are gonna listen to this. Some say, Heather's just semantics. You just changed how the word is, but you still, you still told her basically the same thing. Yes. Yeah. So people will say,
00:11:43 it's not a big deal. It's just a little white lie. And nobody, nobody actually gets hurt by saying something like that. And I can say that I'm, I'm, I'm protecting their feelings. So I'm actually doing a nice thing by doing that. Ha that's a clever way to justify a lie. So a white lie is a lie is a lie.
00:12:05 They're all the same. There is no such thing as a white lie. Okay. Maybe somebody listening to this, rolling their eyes at me thinking, Oh, Heather thinks she's holier than now. I do not. I have absolutely been guilty of being out of integrity with people, but I don't ever consciously lie. Although the truth is I probably do lie to myself occasionally about what I should be doing and I'm not doing again,
00:12:30 but we don't see it as lies. We see it as justifications. We see it as an excuse. So for instance, have you ever been late? Yeah. And you, and you're like you say, you're going to be there at 12 and you're not. And you don't see this as being out of integrity. Do you? You're just like there was an accident on the highway.
00:12:49 There's nothing you can do. There's there are yes, of course things happen, but could you honor your word by calling that person or letting them know, Hey, there's an accident on the highway. I'm going to be, my GPS now says I'll be there at 1215. I'm going to be a little bit late. Just, this is about honoring and keeping your word.
00:13:08 And I know that there are skeptics. I know this because I work with that. That say, what's the big deal. Like this is just not a big deal. The power of your word is everything in your business and your life. And keeping your word sends a message to yourself as well as other people. But okay. Let's say you're late.
00:13:30 That one time there was an accident, but are you the type of person that is always late? Really then That's me. That's me. I've gotten much better. I've gotten much better. So full disclosure here, you know, our, our mentor, James Wedmore has been talking about integrity for years. And truly at the beginning, I was at the same place where a lot of you guys are of like,
00:13:51 okay, yeah, of course we need to be in integrity. But it took a while of continually hearing more and more about this and taking little incremental shifts until I started my Heather. I think you're the same way too. We really started to see, Oh my God, this actually is a huge linchpin for all of the things. All of it's connected to this one seems tiny and inconsequential,
00:14:19 but it is not so much. In fact, when we talked about when I was in Sedona for the mastermind and, and I came back, I was going to get my hair done and I was leaving my, I was leaving my house. I would have been there in plenty of time. But the high school is right across the way. And I didn't realize the high school is now getting out earlier than they used to because COVID,
00:14:36 and I guess distancing and whatnot. So anyway, I sat at that little stop sign by my house for over 10 minutes. My hairdresser's like 10 minutes away. So I was obviously going to be late pre more or less self integral, Nicole, like, you know, 2015 a call would have been like, Oh, okay, I'll get there. When I get there,
00:14:52 I took out my phone. I texted my hairdresser and be like, I'm going to be about five minutes late because I was like, Oh, this is a chance to practice that self integrity thing. And you know what? It felt good that I wasn't like. Cause otherwise I would be like stressed. I'd be driving really fast there. I'm like,
00:15:10 God, I'm late. I'm late. I'm late. But instead I just sent her a quick test. So Hey, I'm running a few minutes late. I got stuck in traffic and she's like, all right, no worries. And then I just, it was relaxing and, and he just entered this place. You, you go through life in a place of more,
00:15:24 more presence. You're more present for the moment. And you can just focus on things more and therefore always leads to the more productivity. And guess what? People trust you more. And I trust myself more. That's a really good point about the stress where if you are out of integrity and every time you're out of integrity, no matter how small it is going to impact all areas of your life,
00:15:45 because there might be this just like low level stress, or maybe even a low level discontent. And you can't quite put your finger on it, but it impacts and shapes your mood, your feelings, your emotions, how you show up the actions that you take or don't take. Because when you feel like crap about yourself, you are not going to show up to do the hard work.
00:16:05 But when you are in integrity, in every area is much as is up to your ability. You feel this general sense of peace and joy. You're uplifted. And as a result, you show up differently to your clients. You show up differently to yourself, to your family and your business. I cannot stress this enough. It truly impacts every single area of your life.
00:16:32 So you want to ask yourself, where can I improve? Where am I currently out of integrity with my health or finances or my business or my relationships. And let me also be clear that this is not about perfection. This is not about always being perfectly self integral. I don't think that that's actually attainable. This is about recognition and acknowledgement so that you can do better.
00:16:57 Remember a few moments ago. I said, if you can't even see that you're out of integrity, how would you ever fix it? How would you ever improve? Because again, you might not see it as being out of integrity. You see it as a justification or there's actually a reason. I have a friend that says to me, Heather, I'm always late because I have toddlers.
00:17:17 And for sure toddlers are like wildlife. They are. I mean, you can almost not even reign them in, but okay. So you're going to have to start everything you do earlier because it's not okay. And I'm sure you've heard this where like, when you show up late somewhere consistently with your friends or with people, you're sending the message that you were time is more important than theirs and that they should be sitting there waiting for you.
00:17:43 I just don't have any patience for that. If you can be consistently five minutes, you can be consistently five minutes early, Right. Just shift at 10 minutes. Got it. Yeah. So speaking of that five minutes early, my mom is one of those people that's 10 or 15 minutes early for everything in her life. And this is just a funny aside of our past experiences that we have as a child dictate our future behavior and our present behavior as an adult.
00:18:17 And she was, my grandma had her two older sisters. She had twins and then she had my mom, my mom was the baby and my grandma would always be the last one to pick her up. I think sometimes forget her. Like, let us not forget her for a long period of time, but always the last one, like always last one to be picked up.
00:18:40 So then fast forward when I'm a kid, I'm probably like seven or eight. And I asked my mom one day, I'm like, why are you always the first one to get me? I'm always the first one to have to leave, which I just thought was hysterical because now it's like sex. Now let's talk back. I'm not the last one,
00:19:00 but I'm certainly not the first one to get my kids a little, a little uncertainty in their life is, you know, Keeps them on their toes. Right.<inaudible> Of course not. And again, I don't want anybody to think. We're striving for perfection here being like, Oh, he's an integrity 100% of the time, but it is definitely something that you can improve.
00:19:26 And when you do things will start to shift for you in other ways. And you, most of us will not make the connection. You'll not say, Oh, this is because I'm in integrity all the time that I got this client. It's just, it all becomes a part of your energy that you're putting out into the world. And you've just raised your vibration not to get too woo.
00:19:46 But that's exactly what happens. You raise your vibration and you put out a different type of energy and people will be more attracted to that. But if you go around lying all the time, which again, people, nobody thinks that they're this person. It's somebody else. It's somebody else that's walking around, lying all the time, because you're not recognizing the small ways that you are telling yourself a story of justification.
00:20:12 That is actually, if you just said it was a lie, it's a lie. And Yeah, no, I think, yeah, when you say integrity, people expect, Oh, if you're out of integrity, you're some nefarious person out there doing very nefarious things. The fairness is a great word. And you know, but it it's, it's not,
00:20:29 it's those simple little things. And I think one, like Heather said, we are not casting stones. Like we, we are out of integrity periodically. Like, and there's times where I don't catch that I'm out of integrity. I mean, this is a learning process that we're always continuing to learn and evolve, but one of the ways you can start to help yourself kind of catch is when you just have that feeling of being off.
00:20:53 So when we're in the flow, we're in a line, like things feel amazing. You are like, you have a great mood, things come easily. You're just getting stuff done. You're going through your day. But then there's those other times where you just feel kind of like meth, you feel a little blah, you feel a little off, you can't really put your finger on it.
00:21:13 I invite you when that happens to look around and see, and it might not that the reason for that might not be something out of integrity, but it might be to look around and just see, am I out of integrity somewhere? Or do I have a value conflict, which is a form of being out of integrity. Heather, do you want to tell us kind of what a value conflict might be?
00:21:36 What that might look like? Oh my gosh, absolutely. I love ice cream and cookies, but I like to fit into my jeans. So there's a, there's a huge value conflict there. I enjoy sweets and baking and, but I also put a priority on health. I exercise every day. I try to, for the most part, I have a pretty decent diet.
00:22:00 I mean, salons the cookies, of course, but that could be a value conflict. And you know what happens when I'm in conflict, I'm miserable. And I could ask myself, why am I miserable? Oh, because I'm having this conflict over. I want cookies, but I also want to fit into my clothing. Now let me give you a business example because that's just funny.
00:22:17 I have this, I have these two core values of one is excellence and one is efficiency. And if you think about that for just a second, those two can really conflict with one another. Because if I want to do say it's weddings, I'm editing a wedding and I want to do it. Of course, to the best of my ability. I want it to be excellent.
00:22:36 I want every photo to be polished and perfect. It's their wedding. I take it very seriously. Well, that's great. But it's probably going to take more time to do that, but wait a minute, I also value efficiency and productivity. And if I'm being excellent, I might not necessarily have the ability to be efficient, which is why when I photograph 30 weddings a year,
00:22:57 I was miserable. But Nicole, I did not know that it was an integrity issue. I did not recognize that I had a core value conflict that I was literally battling every single day. Once I named it. And I recognize, Oh, I'm miserable because I want to be excellent and efficient. And in this realm, they do not play well together.
00:23:21 I'm going to have to pick one, one, one is going to be prioritized over the other, depending on the season you're in or what you're working on. So I said to myself, how could I be the best photographer? I can be the best editor in this case, but still have systems in place that lead me to feeling efficient. So I did that.
00:23:40 I automated some things. I worked on my systems in my process. I stopped smoothing skin on feet. You know, that just wasn't. I mean, I had that as a fact, one day I was editing this photo. I took a photo of a bride walking away. It was just her feet and the bottom of her dress. And it was one of these artistic shots.
00:23:57 Right. And my dad happened to walk by my office and he saw me like, smoothing, like retouching her feet. And he's like, what are you doing? And I said, well, I want her feet to look perfect. I have high standards, you know? And he said, but does anybody ever print that photo? And I said,
00:24:15 well, probably not me. Maybe it might be in the background of an album, but certainly it's not going to be enlarged on the wall. And he said, then why are you doing it? Well, because I have standards of excellence. I want every photo they're getting they're high resolution files. So my brides are getting all of these files and I want them to be perfect.
00:24:31 And he just planted a seed that made me think, okay, do I really need to retouch feet? No. Okay. That's funny. Of course, I don't need to do that. So where can I balance my need for excellence with my need for efficiency? Once I figured out the right combination of those two, I was fine. I was,
00:24:49 I took fewer weddings because I was a, that was another core value conflict. I had no margin, but I figured that out as well. This is all about, you know what? This is Nicole. Bottom line is no self, know your values. Know what makes you tick, understand the season you're in. And then you can prioritize those values.
00:25:08 And the truth is there are some days where I will put the cookies on ice cream. Oh yes. With some hot fudge, for sure. And then there are other days where I'm just going to be more mindful and you know, I'm not going to beat myself up over that, but I am going to hold myself accountable. And if that's something,
00:25:28 if I start doing that every evening, then I have to look at a shift in habits because then my clothes won't fit and I'm going to have this other core value conflict. So again, I need to be integrity in integrity with myself and what I say I'm going to do. So if I say to myself, or I, maybe I say it to you or my husband,
00:25:46 I'm going to have dessert once a week. It's going to be like a special tree. And then, you know, whatever I eat, it's like, who cares? It's something I decided ahead of time and I'm going to stick to it. And that's, that's what it's like to be in integrity. Right. Right. And I think a lot of people start to compare that integrity to willpower.
00:26:08 Like they're a little bit different, which let's come back to that for a second. I just want to share, just help maybe some other people too, to see how this value conflict can impact our personal and business life. My number one value is freedom. Like I am completely unemployable. I can never actually have to have someone tell me when I need to show up for anything ever except myself.
00:26:26 So that's my number one. And there was a point in my business where I was getting pretty cranky when I was booking a couple months out and I'd be like, why would I book a Saturday evening session? I want to get together. And I wanted to go away now this weekend. And now I have a client that I have things planned. Like there is no way I could be wanting to photographer and plan a year or two out,
00:26:47 no chance I was having trouble with like eight weeks. And so what I started doing though, is I knew how many clients per month I wanted to take. And I would book a client and say, okay, I have you down for an October session. And then like the last week of September, I'll get in touch with you and we'll pick our date.
00:27:05 Cause by then I knew what weekends we were going to the Lake or which weekends we were going to be in town. What weekends things were going on. And then I ended up mind, like if I'm not doing anything, I don't mind shooting Sunday mornings because some of the places I love to shoot, like the strip district and Pittsburgh, you can only shoot on a Sunday morning.
00:27:22 So there's like, there, there, wasn't this, this thing of like, Oh, I can't work like my, my days. I didn't want to work. We're very flexible and changing and constantly in flux. So I just made that solution to my business. And then it was so much lighter and easier. And then I wasn't resenting my clients cause that's not a good place to be Finding your clients.
00:27:47 It's time to explore what's happening there. And it could be, in fact, it usually is some type of value conflict, which means you are doing something you don't want to do in order to do something for them or to please them, which value conflict out of integrity. It is certainly all interconnected, although a little bit different. And you mentioned willpower,
00:28:10 you know, willpower, the definition of willpower is the control exerted to do something or to restrain impulses. And that is certainly a component of that. But when you commit to living in integrity, it kind of, I mean, if you're committed, it takes the decision away. So the decision is not, should I eat cookies and ice cream every night that decision's already been made?
00:28:35 It's now just me, you know? Yeah. It takes some willpower for sure, but committing to living in integrity with myself and the way this is so funny, Nicole, I tie, you know how much I love my business. I love to work. We're the same. That way. I tie everything back to performance and business. And I will literally tell myself if I eat these cookies and this ice cream,
00:28:56 when I say I'm not going to, it's going to impact my business. I'm going to lose money. Okay. I'm being funny. I'm exaggerating. I'm not going to like actually lose money by doing that. But I make that connection because I honestly believe that it's there. That connection is there. That's the secret to having a little bit more of this willpower to help you stay committed to the self integrity is to find your why and that why it's going to be different for everybody.
00:29:18 But if you can get down to the why of why you want to have cookies once a week, instead of every night and, or you know, any other thing that you want to do. And even if it's not just that first layer of why, but okay. So the first layer so I can fit in my jeans. Okay. What's the next layer.
00:29:36 Oh. So that I continue to, you know, have low or a healthy heart. Okay. So what's that. So, so I can live a longer life. Oh. So I can be active for my kids. Oh. So I can see my kids get married. Like you go down to these like five different layers of why, and it becomes so much stronger.
00:29:54 And then you have this, this like, well of willpower to draw on, to stay committed. But if you're not connected with that, why you want to do something or why you want to be committed to something, then it's game over. It's no chance. Yeah. Right. Because you have no reason. It would, Michael Hyatt says, when you lose your,
00:30:12 why you lose your way when you lose your way, it's because you've lost your why. And I've actually heard, I think it was probably Simon Sinek would start with why say that you need to go seven layers, deep seven layers. When you say, why do I want this? Why, why, what would that do for me? How would that make me feel?
00:30:28 What would that give me? Why, why, why? And, and it's not easy to do that. But when you do, maybe with a business coach or mentor or a friend, you can start to really drill down into the real reason. And once you hit that, like bedrock, once you hit that, it's stable, you will have more,
00:30:46 you'll find yourself with the ability to, to have more willpower because you're connected with why you're doing it A hundred percent. So we've talked about itself, integrity, integrity in general, why it's so important? You guys, this is seriously the thing. If there was one thing, somebody is like, Nicole, what makes a successful pet photographer? This is it.
00:31:10 This is the secret to success. They do what they say they're going to do. And don't let all the excuses derail them. That is it guys. I know Nicole. There's going to be people out there that are going to be like, not, not buying into this, not, not believing. Do you mean that? Well, okay. But let me ask you this from a different perspective.
00:31:32 What if that's all it took? What if it were really that simple that you just had to show up on time and keep your word to yourself and that would make all the difference. What does it hurt to try? Yeah. Yeah. Just, and it's really important not to spiral into like a shame spiral when you realize that you're out of integrity,
00:31:51 because you're going to realize that we all do. You always do, but the more you practice it, the less often you find yourself out of integrity. But like I said, no, one's perfect in this. You're always going to find that. And then what do you do? You just, okay, get back in integrity and how you do that is,
00:32:09 you know, to, if it's yourself, you recommit, if it's somebody else was affected, you, you know, let that person know, like correct that situation as much as needed to be correct. Like, you know, like if you borrowed someone's car and you hurt their car, of course you're going to fix whatever you broken borrowed and like,
00:32:25 things like that, but just little tiny things of just, yeah. You just fix whatever needs to be fixed, to bring back your power, put you back in integrity and then move on and, and just keep on, keep on trying, keep improving. Yeah. So Actually I would like to wrap this episode up with seven questions that you can ask yourself to maybe begin looking at ways in which you could improve your integrity.
00:32:51 Would that be a good path to head down The why? I think it would Heather. Okay. Great. All right. Number one. You could ask yourself, have I been totally honest today? So let's just look at today because sometimes people think that they can save time, maybe even money. I don't know, with a little bit of dishonesty,
00:33:11 but how will that tarnish your character? Because every dishonest moment sets you up for the possibility of being exposed as a fraud to others, as well as yourself. Well, it's no wonder then you're struggling with imposter syndrome, right? Isn't that interesting how this is all tied together? Like, let me give you an example. What if someone asks you how you like their really ugly gaudy shirt and you rave about it though inside you're like,
00:33:38 that is the ugliest thing I've ever seen, but it seems like the nice thing to say, because obviously you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but what if later and you went on and on about it. What if they bought you one? And they were like, you love this shirt so much. You know, what about You ever had dinner?
00:33:56 Let's see Nicole, you go to your mom's house and she makes this meal and she's real proud of it. It's a new recipe. And you're like, Oh, okay. Not so much, but you don't want to hurt your mom's feelings. So do, I mean, I don't want to hurt mine, mom. So I would say this is really great.
00:34:11 Thank you so much. And then the next thing, you know, every time you show up at her house, she's making you the same Day that you would hate, But, and it's your own fault because then how do you get out of that? Right. Right. Okay. Now I'm not suggesting that we should be cruel. I am saying is we need to find polite and nice ways to tell the truth.
00:34:31 Did you do that today? Did you have the courage to be honest, because yes, there are risks to living with integrity. You could hurt someone's feeling or, or damage a relationship, but ultimately your character will be stronger because you told the truth again. No such thing is white lie. So that was number one. Number one was, have I been totally honest today?
00:34:52 Number two is, have I been faithful to my own set of values, which is what we just talked about? So an author, I can't remember exactly where I found this. My apologies recommended that every week you write down your values, so you can look at them again and understand this is like for me, you know, the excellence and the efficiency.
00:35:12 So I can understand where I might be out of integrity because I am, I'm breaking my own rules, my own values. And if you write them down and review them often, it just becomes easier to spot. Number three is, and this is great. Did I do anything this week that I would not want my mother to find out about? Because when You're examining your choices,
00:35:36 are there any that you would be embarrassed for? You know, your mother or your spouse or somebody you care about a parental figure that you respect? Would you be embarrassed if they found out about it? Well, I think that's a pretty, a pretty bold clue that you are doing something it's probably out of integrity. The fourth one is where did I spend my time this week?
00:36:01 And if that becomes too difficult, looking at a week, what about just today? Where did I spend my time today and write it down and look at it. And did I do the things I said I was going to do? So back to one of your examples, Nicole, about exercising and meditating. If you write down the end of the day that you exercised,
00:36:21 you meditated, you ate well, you did all of these things that you said you were going to do. You're going to feel pretty good about it. And that's going to raise your vibe and you're going to show up differently in your business and in your relationships in the world, just in general. But if you look at that list and you write down things like I scrolled Instagram to check Facebook,
00:36:39 I watched some Netflix right there it is. Yeah. It just becomes obvious. This is just about being honest with yourself, you know, and looking at that. So that leads perfectly into number five, which is what could I have done better this week? Or again, just today, because you know, sometimes you get distracted, a lot of things happen.
00:36:59 And the next thing you know, it's the end of the week or the end of the day. And you're like, Oh, I didn't, I didn't get anything done. Or I don't feel like I made progress on my website or my prices, or I didn't spend time with my kids or I didn't exercise whatever it is. What could you have done better?
00:37:15 Could you find one thing, one thing every day, one thing once a week that you could say I could do better. Maybe it's being more present with your family or working on your website or working with a team if you're in a corporate job. But over time, these efforts will produce a, an effect that, you know, a compound effect and that compound effect will be reflected in your character.
00:37:40 There's nothing better for your business than a stronger character. Number six is who could I have served better this week? Did we give people that we love all that we have? Could we have listened more to the opinions and emotions of our friends or family? What about strangers? What about clients? I believe that living with integrity means serving others because your character is sometimes all that strangers may know of you.
00:38:09 So how can you serve others? If you maybe you're the type of person that is always early, always on time. But for this one event you were late and you were meeting a bunch of new people. That is 100% of their experience with you is that you're late to them. It's 100% of the time. You're like, no, I'm always on time.
00:38:26 I'm the best I swear. But it was just this one time. Okay. I'm sure you are right. It shows up and it's important. It's important. And finally, number seven is, did I do my best? If you look at your day, did you give it all that you have? And if not, that's okay. What was going on?
00:38:45 Was there a value conflict? Because there's really no reason to not give the absolute best. I think you should, in everything you do, you should do your absolute best. I always tell people, Nicole, I'm like, I get all kinds of fired up, especially in our elevate calls. And I'm like, ah, I did not wake up today to be mediocre.
00:39:04 I woke up and I don't know about you, but I don't think you did either. Right? You were, you wake up to give your best. So did you do your best? And if you can't look at it again, I like to break these things down. If it seems overwhelming, if you can't look at it for the day, if you can't look at the entire day,
00:39:20 could you say, did I do my best for the past hour? My last hour have been better spent? Well, of course, for many of us, we could say, yes, I could, I could have put the phone down and I could have logged into my website to update my about page or upload my new photo, whatever that is,
00:39:36 that last hour instead of scrolling, right. I could have done something that was more productive. Could you redefine what good looks like, like set higher standards because when people think of you and look at you, do they think of excellence or do they think, Oh, she's always late or she's just mediocre or she's not really delivering her best. Oh my gosh,
00:39:57 Nicole dot that to me is like, that's a last thing. I would want anybody to ever think about me. So I just wake up every day trying to do my best for myself, for you, for my clients to stay in integrity, because I know what makes the world a better place now, does that seem big and lofty and grandiose? Yeah.
00:40:14 But guess what? I believe that that impact is really there. Right? Right. And I just want to touch on something you just mentioned too, about like looking back in the past hour or the past day and did I do my best? And if there's something that too, you know, you should have been doing that you didn't, and you're like,
00:40:29 Oh man, I did not do my best because I didn't do this thing. Take it one step further and ask why like try to deal down to why didn't I do that? What's getting in your way. Is it a lack of knowledge of how to do it causes us to procrastinate? Or is there a fear of doing that? What it is going to mean or cause,
00:40:47 or a fear of failure that if you do it and you don't do it right, then the world's going to come crashing down like that can help sometimes give us a clue as to why we are being out of integrity of these things and, and like why we are, you know, why we are making these excuses for these different things is just trying to deal with that.
00:41:07 Cause I found the two reasons that people don't do what they say they're going to do can often be either an not knowing how to do it or some sort of underlying fear of what it means if they do it, what it means if they succeed or fail. Cause sometimes there's a fear of success. I mean, that's a whole nother podcast, but yeah,
00:41:29 just, just to drill down there a little bit more and then that helps give some next steps and gives you, allows you to kind of recommit to all right. I have this fear of doing this because I'm scared. Someone's going to say no, but I am committed to this final vision. So I'm going to do that. So it allows you to recommit to that integrity.
00:41:50 I love that. And I think a great way to wrap this up is by asking yourself this question, seriously, look in the mirror and ask yourself, does this conduct, does my conduct make me a better person? And what is the message I'm sending myself and others really ruminate on that? Because again, it's not about, please hear me. It is not about beating yourself up or going down the shame spiral.
00:42:16 This is just about elevating you. Like what I did there, Nicole elevating, elevating it's about elevating yourself and raising your energy and your vibe so that you can serve others better. And we believe we know that this will ultimately impact your business and your bottom line for the better. Absolutely. Couldn't the Senate better myself, Heather. Thanks again for being with us for all of you guys out there.
00:42:44 Gosh, listen to this podcast again. Maybe like it is so important and I really hope you were able to sit and go through it with an open mind and just ask yourself, you know, how does this apply to my current situation and my life and where I'm showing up and how I'm showing up? Because it truly is one of the most important foundations of any sort of success in business or personal life.
00:43:07 And if we can start to focus on this a little bit more and really, really just try to improve this bit by bit, day by day, you are going to see major changes and the benefits of that for years and years to come. So Heather, thanks again for being with us. If you guys wanna follow Heather online she's of course always around the Academy.
00:43:30 She's one of our elevate coaches. You can also find her at the flourish Academy as well. Heather, thanks again for being here and we will talk to you soon. Thank you. Thanks for listening to the hair of the dog podcast. If you want to check out the show notes for access to any of the links we shared in this episode, as well as additional resources,
00:43:50 simply go to www.hairofthedogacademy.com/six seven. Thanks for listening to this episode of hair of the dog podcast. If you enjoyed this show, please take a minute to leave a review. And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe. So you don't miss our upcoming episodes online thing. If you are ready to dive into more resources, head over to our [email protected]. Thanks for being a part of this pet photography community.